Online Exclusive: A Conversation with Christopher Buckley

Christopher Buckley
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Found in Willow Springs 62 and  59

April 21, 2006

Jeffery Dodd

A CONVERSATION WITH CHRISTOPHER BUCKLEY

Christopher Buckley

Photo Credit: independent.com 

 

CHRISTOPHER BUCKLEY IS A CANVASSER of the human experience. From the Catholic theology of his childhood to new discoveries in cosmology, from the cultural revolution of the 1960s to Eastern Europe in the 1990s, from the art of Georgia O’Keeffe to the poetry of contemporaries like Gerald Stern and Pablo Neruda, his poetry explores the gamut of the physical and intellectual environs he has occupied. Always incisive, Buckley explains his investigations in direct terms: “One of the main reasons a person is drawn to art, to writing, to poetry particularly, is to try to make sense of his/her life. . .as you go at puzzling out any individual existence, certainly as you look back and try to put pieces together, you are making that myth of yourself.”

His process of myth making is mirrored by a technical facility that allows Buckley to pursue the elements of his craft most appropriate to parsing his experience. His lines balance rhythm and image to offer his reader a seat of comfortable distress that echoes the very complexities of life his work so consistently pursues. But Buckley is adamant—poets must also write critical prose, and he has done just that for thirty years, championing the work of young and underappreciated poets we’d be poorer without.

And we’d be poorer without the mythic sense of life Buckley has created in fourteen books of poems, the most recent of which is And the Sea and Sky. Last year, Eastern Washington University Press released his second collection of creative nonfiction, Sleepwalk. And he has authored or edited, seven celebrations of poets and poetry, including A Condition of the Spirit: The Life & Work of Larry Levis (with Alexander Long), Homage to Vallejo, and Appreciations: Selected Reviews, Views, & Interviews—1975-2000. He has been honored with dozens of grants and awards, including four Pushcart Prizes. He is currently working on a collection of new and selected poems. Buckley teaches at the University of California, Riverside, and was kind enough to conduct this interview by way of electronic correspondence.

 

JEFFREY DODD

In your recent “Poet on the Poem” essay in American Poetry Review, as well as in several essays in Appreciations, you appear both weary and wary of poetry “camps and schools.” Can you draw out some of the dangers—if you consider them dangers—of such schools and divisions?

CHISTOPHER BUCKLEY

Camps are formed to promote their members and often function more politically than aesthetically. They develop, almost necessarily, an us vs. them situation—our way is right; yours is not. And because an individual helps promote the camp, helps wave the banner, makes the work conform to the protocols, that poet will be included and the work—sometimes inferior—will be promoted and acclaimed, whereas alone in the world, it might meet with a fate appropriate to its accomplishment.

I think of my first teacher, the poet Glover Davis, a great teacher, a committed teacher, who gave a great deal, and rigorously, to his students. Mainly, he was a formalist and extolled and taught inherited forms. He published his first two books with the renowned Harry Duncan, then a book with Wesleyan. But he was not a political animal, not a networker. He was ignored by the New Formalists and when he contacted them when they were making a lot of noise on the poetry scene, he was still ignored. I think he has two or three manuscripts of fine, mostly formal verse on his desk in his retirement. So it’s never strictly the idea, or quality; it’s too often finally political. We have the great example of Donald Justice who wrote, for most of his years, free verse and traditional forms. A good poem presented itself in the form it presented itself—no need to join a school. And one of my favorite poets, Stanley Kunitz, wrote some fine prose explaining why for most of his life he did not want to write sonnets. One of the best poets I know, Mark Jarman, wrote a collection of honest and authentic Unholy sonnets and also has a book of prose poems forthcoming. Both are good. Academia is full of politics; poets need to be more democratic and look to excellence and originality rather than one style as opposed to another.

Also, a young poet may—and I have seen it—appear on the scene with simple narrative gifts and write good and accomplished poetry. He or she often has a difficult time in graduate school where the group or camp or school is theory driven. These kinds of camps work against the wider appreciation of poetry and the range of poetic talent.

I stand with the wise and humane spirit of Stanley Kunitz, who said in the introduction to his Collected Poems, “Years ago I came to the realization that the most poignant of all lyric tensions stems from the awareness that we are living and dying at once. To embrace such knowledge and yet to remain compassionate and whole‚ that is the consummation of the endeavor of art.” So I do not care if the poem is a prose poem, a sonnet, a raving lyric anaphorical ode; if it is well made and says something accessibly and freshly about what it is to be human, then it is a good poem to me. I just don’t see that camps are focused on the essential good of poetry.

DODD

Dark Matter seems to represent a turn toward openness in your work, with respect to the last point you made. Was there a discernible pressing outward in the bounds of your aesthetic, or was something else at work?

BUCKLEY

Form follows function, accommodates subject. Matisse said the painting always exists before the theory. So, no, I had no big idea about what I would do next or how I would do it regarding forms or expanding an aesthetic. One simply hopes to grow from book to book, but often there is a pendulum effect, one side of the working spectrum to another. For a number of years the voice that was working in me gave me long poems in long lines. It was not fashionable. Editors always wanted something short, but that is not what I was writing and I was grateful that something was coming to me at all and engaging me, obsessing me to whatever degree. Fall from Grace is a book wholly in that manner. The last three books, on the other hand, have gone back to, what is for me, shorter poems in tighter forms—lots of couplets and versions of the triadic line we all learned from Williams. One side to the other.

At the same time, I am writing prose poems when that particular voice fits a subject and the last three books have had a few prose poems counterpointing the tighter lines. Sometimes I edge more toward the lyric, and sometimes a more expansive, ironic, self-reflexive voice. But with Dark Matter I was finding more and more varied forms presenting themselves to me as I tackled more pointedly a new and particular subject matter, that of recent cosmology and astrophysics. All of that information and reading was fresh material to support the old arguments and inquisitions regarding metaphysics, mortality, the temporal beauty of the world. I wrote in that book a couple poems in a wide and orchestrated format—lines, images, surrounded by space and floating there to isolate them, to let them “resonate and baste,” as Charles Wright has it. “Star Journal” and “Perseid Meteor Shower” are two of those and their subjects are obvious from their titles. “Sun Spots”—the “concrete” poem—took off in that direction almost from the beginning. The trick was of course to make each line work as a line, to have integrity, and to simply chop it off mid-syntax to fit a visual template. It’s the only one I’ve ever written, but the form seemed to fit the subject and it was selected for a Pushcart Prize and of the four poems I’ve had in Pushcart, it was the one selected for their 30 year best-of anthology— probably for its invention or unusual shape, but I am grateful no matter what the reason. In that book there are a number of regular free verse stanzas, a number of poems in even-lined stanzas, and even a Shakespearian sonnet. But yes, I think you are right to see some reaching out in forms to accommodate a more expansive subject matter.

DODD

The last few lines of “Mystery” approach those issues of metaphysics and cosmology in a nearly ars poetical fashion: “The salt, the dust, the old suspects—I continue to have them change hats and coats for this, for any scrap of evidence we have of heaven.”

BUCKLEY

“Mystery” is an ars poetica, but more about the over-reaching themes of poetry than about tidy imagery or strategy. I’m just on to myself there, aware that I keep making the same search, that I keep rounding up the usual suspects, to try to find examples of transcendence. The short version is that despite attending Catholic school even through to my BA, I stopped buying into orthodoxy at about eleven years old. But despite my rejection of Church dogma and the changing rules, the idea that stayed with me was that there might be some metaphysical construct behind all we see. Emphasize “might”—it would be great if there was. And so when I first started reading books and articles on cosmology, particle physics, etc., it was clear to me that the good writers of those books had to find imagery and metaphors to explain the concepts of quantum mechanics to those of us with only a high school understanding of science. What subject matter, what great new material.

Dark Matter employed a lot of recent science when dark matter was first discovered. Then, say a dozen or so years ago, they figured that ninety percent of the universe was not radiating and yet something was holding galaxies together, and hence dark matter. What a metaphor, working with any emotional state, past personal history, and more to the point with all the speculation about hidden forces in the universe. But the science usually changes by the time you read the book. Now, the standard model of the universe provides for about twenty-one percent dark matter, four percent atoms, and seventy-percent of what they are now calling dark energy. I’ve got a new pamphlet on parallel universes (there are three distinct possible kinds) and super string theory. I read it for fun. It’s sometimes like finding money in the street: theoretical and metaphysical Lincoln Logs to try to construct something to stand on and see clearly to some source beyond our common mortality. Interestingly enough, many of the popular books written for a general audience on cosmology begin with the pre-socratic philosophers who all had postulated what everything in the world was made of—the beginnings of the first atomic theories, and in a way the beginning of the search for the Grand Unified Field Theory, or what they are now calling—without tongue in cheek—The Theory of Everything. Sounds pretty close to metaphysics, going at it a piece at a time.

DODD

So many writers today seem to privilege minutiae and eschew “the big thing,” as though they could be divorced. What are the dangers of failing to recognize the link between the search and the “evidence”?

BUCKLEY

The surface of art is just that, the surface. Alone it’s not much, but some folks want it to be all. The evidence is there just to get us to the search, to the speculation and reach for something beyond ourselves. You do not have to be religious to realize this. Non religious writers—Hemingway and John Fowles come to mind—make a consistent case for the dignity and essential value in acting humanely toward each other, in realizing there is a “right” thing to do according to just being alive on the planet, even if we are an amazing coincidence of self-conscious chemicals. Williams always had an idea and an emotion, a deep humanity at the core of his work. He wanted to go about it concretely and not abstractly, not in the largely intangible and attenuated language of philosophy. And that was a good thing for poetry, especially American poetry.

DODD

Maybe related, how would you characterize the relationship between poets and “critics”—however you define the term—these days?

BUCKLEY

Poets need to write critical prose on poetry. After Jarrell, what? Professional critics who have a career and often are allied to camps and particular theories—Margorie Perloff comes immediately to mind— there are many out there. An exception is Kunitz. If you read through his prose collection, A Kind of Order, A Kind of Folly, you’ll see that in addition to the fine introductions he wrote for his Yale selections, he has wonderful essays on many poets—Aiken, Rilke, Jeffers, Louise Bogan, Marianne Moore, Stevens, Lowell, Berryman, and Dylan Thomas. There are four essays on Roethke. But Kunitz was not out to carve anyone up and so his prose on poetry did not draw much attention. I should mention as well David Young and David Walker at FIELD—poets who have for years written criticism whose sole intention is to illuminate and praise great work. Young’s short essay on James Wright in the FIELD symposium on Wright is to my mind the most helpful and concise—say on Wright, a piece every young poet should read. But again, these are poets who have done their due diligence in support of poetry and who have not tried to “make a name” as a critic. Gerry LaFemina and Dennis Hinrichsen have started a tabloid format journal, Review Revue, whose focus is reviews of and essays on poetry by poets. It’s a wonderful project and is really succeeding.

For over twenty-five years, I did my best to write and publish reviews, interviews, and essays on contemporary poetry. I’m not near as brilliant as Perloff, Helen Vendler, Richard Howard, but I trust my motives. I did not gain much critical attention, but I did the little thing I could to support young poets and say what I could about some of our great poets. I did not do any “hatchet jobs” as I concluded early on that if I were going to spend the time writing critical prose instead of my own poetry, I had better spend it on work I admired and could be instructed by. Ed Hirsch, a fine poet with a brilliant and comprehensive mind for poetry, has many essays on poets of all stripes and varying periods that are our current hallmark for my money. His newest book of prose on poetry, Poet’s Choice, is a gem.

DODD

You’ve written admiringly of Charles Wright’s and Paul Mariani’s investigations of the spiritual and earthly. This is a question that appears in various manifestations in your own work. What do you consider the particular characteristics that seem to make poetry so well equipped for approaching this and other big questions?

BUCKLEY

Well, of course in many cases a poem is a meditation. Some classical techniques of meditation, say those of St. John of the Cross or St. Ignatius Loyola, are not so far removed, I think, from the mental processes of imagining and making a poem. And of course the focus of meditation is not how to make more money in the stock market; generally, it is about making some sense of transience and confronting the notions of an afterlife or the lack thereof. Granted, there are plenty of rewarding poems about the plums in the icebox, and the day to day things of the world. I’m a fan of Ted Kooser and his pragmatic epiphanies. Still, beyond the particulars, there is usually an emotion or idea that has more common gravity about our situation on earth. Again with Kunitz, from the introduction to Passing Through: “Poetry I have insisted, is ultimately mythology, the telling of the stories of the soul. This would seem to be an introverted, even solipsistic, enterprise, if it were not that these stories recount the soul’s passage through the valley of this life—that is to say, its adventure in time, in history.”

And what more can I say about Charles Wright? He has characterized the project of his poetry as an ongoing argument with himself about the unlikelihood of salvation. He doesn’t leave much meat on the bone for those of us with similar concerns coming after him. And then there is just the genius of his talent. Had I been able to predict this when I was starting out, I may have opted for that tennis pro job at the country club instead of the career path to poetry.

But seriously, what do any of us know early on about what it is that will ultimately concern and compel us? It seemed I struggled for years just to swim to the surface of clarity. Oh, our theme is there, and probably if we spent a few years with a shrink in our twenties he or she could predict what obsessions we would have to work out and resolve in part if we were to succeed. But who had money for that kind support in those early days? I sold my VW van to finish up my MA.

And finally, look back. The great Chinese poets were trying to figure out the metaphysical debate. And the Aztec poets way back in the day. My friend Peter Everwine has translated two books of the Aztec, and I recently found Stephen Berg’s 1972 versions of the Nahuatl poems, Nothing in the World. What consistency in voice and vision and the ancient problem of knowing the gods, or God, there is between these two translators. Here is a poem that particularly grabbed me from the Berg book:

where are we going Oh where are we
going are we dead are we still alive
is this where time ends is there time somewhere
else people are only here on earth
with pungent flowers and with songs
and out of the world
surely
they make truths!

Had I written that poem as my first poem, I wonder if I would have written another? A meditative poem allows us to look at the world and ask larger questions, allows us to speculate and guess as we try to make sense of our lives.

DODD

There’s a slight echo of late Po Chu’I in the Nahuatl poem. There’s also an engagement with the natural that reminds me of the end of your poem “From the White Place,” in Blossoms and Bones:

I come here to be reminded from the umber and the gold,

from the land’s dramatic gestures as it breaks itself down,
how pure the palette can finally be— these few columns, rinsed with sun, lift me—mountain’s husk like chalk, like snow, like our last words
up this dry waterfall of light.

I like the idea of the “pure palette,” and I’ve noticed that one of the “colors” on your palette is the corps of natural images and elements, wherein I see a very strong similarity between your work and Gerald Stern’s. That natural imagery seems to be one of “colors” that sometimes gets passed over in a good deal of contemporary poetry.

BUCKLEY

For me it’s a very obvious thing, my “palette”—I was raised in an Edenic environment in Montecito/Santa Barbara, CA in the mid 1950s, surrounded daily with undamaged and uncrowded nature. I lived in the wooded foothills and often followed the creeks down to the beach as a child.

In my teenage years, a group of us took up skin diving and then surfing, and no experience I have had has equaled the almost beatific exhilaration and vibrant, intuitive communion with the natural world. My subject/palette picked me really, and in spite of my interest in cosmology and philosophy, I always come back to that place and those images and find they are part of the new lines of inquiry anyway.

The O’Keeffe work is interesting in the context of the previous question. The Vanderbilt book and the two chapbooks I have published of poems derived from her painting and life are all very short imagistic poems, very different in scope and strategy from my other work. Yet, I connected with O’Keeffe’s work for its display of and examination into the natural and the metaphysical, so the driving forces were the same. As I’ve written elsewhere, the voice, for those poems seemed to possess me—they are all persona poems, written as if O’Keeffe were speaking. Her writings were quite eloquent and compelling so I am sure I was fortunately influenced. I began the project in the late 1970s and wrote the last of the poems in 2002, or 2003.

And while the natural world may be passed over by many, certainly we have to mention Mary Oliver who is a marvel in her close observations of nature and her invention and insight and great sympathy for life. She is a favorite of mine and one of the best poets we have.

As for Gerald Stern, I love the man, I love his poetry. His energy and generosity were life-savers for me, and his wonderful poems helped me move in a direction I needed to go at a point when I was a bit stalled. But no one sounds like Stern, unless they are unwise enough to try to imitate him. He’s unique, and as well as his attention to the natural world, his cherishing of the smallest element, I love his courage and willingness to engage the political forces of injustice or anything, small or large, that does not grant us our dignity.

DODD

Your prose work consistently reminds me that poetry is one of the arts that depends primarily on its practitioners for its preservation, and I find that to be a fascinating dynamic. Whom, if anyone, do you look to for that preservationist’s perspective?

BUCKLEY

Well, one project that deserves lots of praise and support is Review Revue, which I mentioned earlier; they have been publishing three years now and they publish reviews of contemporary poetry by poets and essays on poets by poets. They are pretty democratic too, and have no agendas, no theories or camps to advance. They are doing a great service for poetry and I would encourage everyone to subscribe. They give attention to the famous and important poets but as well to those who are not going to receive any run in the major publications. They recently featured a nice piece on a series of chapbooks by a small press and their poets, and they give a good deal of support to small presses and their editors, essential to contemporary poetry.

Otherwise, I have to give a great deal of praise to Ed Hirsch who has done as much or more than anyone in the last several years to advance poetry. To my mind, he knows everything and appreciates just about everything about poetry. His first book of prose on poetry, How to Read a Poem and Fall in Love with Poetry, is just great. I use it in my classes and it shows students how passion for poetry, a particular poem or poet, can lead to understanding and illumination. His essays and examples are accessible and compelling and erudite all at once, and his vision is truly democratic. That book goes from Christopher Smart to Hikmet to Neruda and more. His newest book, Poet’s Choice, collects 130 short essays on poets ancient and contemporary, American, European and middle eastern and more. It’s an invaluable resource for any student and reader of poetry as it introduces many poets with whom one might not be familiar, while at the same time offering distilled insights and appraisals of essential poets—and all with a passion that is at the heart of poetry. Nothing better.

Finally here, it would be wrong to say that Larry Levis and William Matthews were not appreciated. But especially in the case of Larry, he was overlooked relative to his genius, and both he and Bill were lost to us tragically long before their time. If I had to pick two poets to whom the often over-used term “genius” applies, it would be them. We should not forget them or their work, and to that end Sebastian Matthews has done a fine job in preserving his father’s memory and work. And one other project of mine has been to not let us forget Larry Levis. While he was not exactly ignored, he was overlooked relative to his genius. He received book awards, an NEA and Guggenheim, but was left out of the great anthologies that define the age. He had contributed some truly insightful and salient prose on poetry throughout the 1980s especially, yet there was no study of his achievement. He died at forty-nine and I just felt his work and his memory, so singular in 20th century American poetry, should not be forgotten. So I began to write essays, long and short, on various topics, to keep his work and genius in front of us. Eventually, I put together a fairly comprehensive book on his life and work—A Condition of The Spirit: On the Life & Work of Larry Levis (Eastern Washington Univ. Press 2004)—which included Larry’s prose on poetry, recollections of Larry as a poet, colleague, and teacher, and a third section which collected both the published criticism and new essays written for the book. Bless Christopher Howell at EWU Press for recognizing the importance of Larry’s work. My co-editor of the book was a former student of mine, Alexander Long, who I helped to learn to write poetry mainly by showing him Levis. I feel this book is one of the most important contributions I could make to contemporary poetry.

DODD

You’ve talked about the mythology of the self with Salamun, and I’m curious about this in relation to your own work. In a different way than Salamun, but especially with the publication of Sleepwalk, the body of your work seems to have in many ways accrued into a sort of mythopoeic construction: this in the sense of creating a history that is native to, and obtains consequence beyond, the individual. Do you, or does any poet, have a choice in such myth- and meaning-making?

BUCKLEY

One of the main reasons a person is drawn to art, to writing, to poetry particularly, is to try and make sense of his/her life. The poet may find as many different versions of “sense” as experience allows week to week; the job is not to formulate a philosophy. Yet as you go at puzzling out any individual existence, certainly as you look back and try to put pieces together, you are making that myth of yourself.

In poetry, of course, you can adjust the facts to get at the essential truth, emotion, idea. In creative nonfiction, you cannot. Yet both are very similar, and in that respect I agree with the “godfather” of creative nonfiction, Lee Gutkind, who says creative nonfiction is much closer to poetry than it is to fiction. It was his second or third issue of his magazine Creative Nonfiction that he gave over the issue to poets writing nonfiction and wrote a small editorial enunciating the connections. Essentially, a high percentage of creative nonfiction is lyric-driven. More specifically, Sleepwalk is my second book of creative nonfiction, and to a large extent it takes up the “myth” of my life where the first book, Cruising State, left off—the first book being mainly about childhood in Santa Barbara, CA, and Sleepwalk taking up predominately high school and college years and after. And so in the attempt to understand your life, to find meaning putting events and outcomes together as best you can, you tell a story, a true story, about yourself and your experience in relation to the history of the times.

In such a posture, you become to a degree an “every man”—a mythical figure on a common level. If the essays are successfully written and presented, with memorable and accurate detail, then they will be to some degree convincing, and in that they will witness a portion of the rush of experience from that period. Look, people argue back and forth about history, which is supposed to be objective and factual, so it comes as no surprise that my story, my true nonfiction, can be disagreed with by someone else with another experience. We choose to see resolutions from the events and details we assemble. If we do it well, the emotional impact will trigger a recognition factor, and while it is somewhat a subjective myth, it can also be a truth to be shared.

My poetry and my creative nonfiction have for many years now been aimed at the same target—trying to cherish and preserve my sense of “home”—and in that sense are the elements of a vanished time and place and environment, social and world view. Gone for sure.

At the very end of Borges’s 1960 book, El hacedor (Dream Tigers in the 1964 translation) the last paragraph of the epilogue reads: “A man sets himself the task of portraying the world. Through the years he peoples a space with images of provinces, kingdoms, mountains, bays, ships, islands, fishes, rooms, instruments, stars, horses, and people. Shortly before his death, he discovers that that patient labyrinth of lines traces the image of his face.”

Does any poet have a choice in such myth- or meaning-making? Well sure, you can choose to write about the surfaces of poems, you can write about “Language.” But I feel that if you are truly trying to make sense of your life and engage the larger questions of our short time on earth, you do work toward myth- and meaning-making. What I have been up to is best put by George Santayana in one of his letters: “I wish to mourn perpetually the absence of what I love or might love. Isn’t that what religious people call the love of God?”

DODD

In the title piece from Sleepwalk, you make very clear the distinction between the political and cultural atmosphere of the early- and mid-1960s and the atmosphere and turmoil of the late-60s and 70s. How long did it take and what prompted the realization that you had grown up not only during but on the eve of what’s often considered such a revolutionary period?

BUCKLEY

During the late ‘60s and early ‘70s we were too much in the crush of things for many of us to make over-reaching rational evaluations. What was immediate was important.

There was conscription; one reason Kennedy was given a parade in Dallas was his intention to draw down the military involvement in Vietnam; as soon as you graduated from high school—if you were male—you had to start bobbing and weaving to avoid the draft and death at the hands of corporate interests behind the war. Remember that Westmoreland lied, that LBJ lied, and there was no Gulf of Tonkin incident, that the “domino theory” was also a lie.

We came out of the ‘50s, which were great—the biggest battles socially and politically being about duck-tail haircuts, Elvis’s swiveling hips, Rock n Roll, and later the Beatles shaggy hair. Gas was 30¢ and you could put an old Chevy together for a couple hundred dollars and drive around all night. Ike played a lot of golf and everyone liked him. But his parting words about the military industrial complex—a realization he had just come to after eight years in office—have never been heeded. Witness the Bush/Cheney wars and the national debt. Many of us were coerced into Indochina and death; others more fortunate, like myself, got time to get a little education and time to think, and that brought you the late ‘60s and protest and revolution on that modest scale.

So we went from dressing in our father’s business suits to long hair and work shirts. The same forces that were trying to ban Elvis and rock 'n' roll were later the political forces promoting the war and advocating rounding up all the hippies and sending them to Vietnam. The Civil Rights movement, the 1968 Chicago Democratic National convention (a title that still reeks with irony), marches in DC—all of it, we went from the eve of change right through the turmoil of the ‘70s. We were sleepwalking on the eve of it, early and mid-60s, while some a bit older were already fully engaged. But by and large, the country digested what the government and media fed it until those forces were changed. Then a lull, a dissipation of political energy and will. Look what we have now. The term sleep walk seems apt once again

DODD

While reading Sleepwalk I was reminded of the Dylan song “My Back Pages,” all about the usefulness of a kind of mature humility. So maybe a more important question is what do we have to learn from looking closely at the period?

BUCKLEY

The often quoted sentence from Santayana, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it,” applies once again. Check the income for the corporate recipients of the military industrial complex going back to Kennedy. The profits keep going up with each war; it’s not likely we will not have wars, as lucrative as they have become for those at the top. Santayana also tells us, “Only the dead have seen the end of war.”

We got complacent after the 1970s. We had Reagan and conspicuous consumption for eight years and the steady funneling of our tax revenues into the military industry. But there are lots of things to buy. What did Cicero say? Bread and Circuses. They give us bread and circuses instead of freedom. Dylan. Some flaming brilliant social defiances in his youth. Mature humility? He had an angle on that even when he was not mature, certainly as mature as he is now. One secret which is not really such a secret about nonfiction writing is the value of humility; you had better be able to see yourself as a character with failings and blind spots if you are going to tell a true story and have anyone believe you. Were we idealistic, sure. Did everything turn around? Not by a long way. We did eventually stop a war and push LBJ out of office. LBJ—supreme irony of ironies—did have to promote Kennedy’s Civil Rights agenda and some changes were made. But were we foolish or unrealistic at times? No doubt. But again, the motives were moral ones and not driven by a spreadsheet presented to shareholders or a desire to drive a Hummer. In The Godfather: Part II, one of the characters says that if history teaches us anything, it’s that you can kill anyone. Would the reforms have been more long lasting, would they have been cut more deeply into the bedrock of our society had Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King lived? Perhaps. I’d like to have seen that play out. Had they lived, perhaps fewer of us would have disappeared into mutual funds, mortgages, and installments on the Honda.

DODD

You’ve written that hearing William Stafford read when you were in college influenced the way you approached poetry. What were your other early influences beyond the standard college curriculum of the time?

BUCKLEY

Well, a very early influence of mine was Swinburne; I first found a stanza of his poetry in a surf magazine when I was fourteen and read him through college. I loved Eliot too, and largely for the same reasons I like Swinburne, the grand music of the phrasing. I read Eliot on my own, not having a clue as to the themes and concepts until I took a class later in college. So the early influence of Stafford was important that day when I first heard him read. I learned about contemporary voice and language and what was possible in a poem without high philosophy of archetypal overarching themes. Stafford was the first poet to show me you could write in your own voice and sound like a human being, a lesson it took me years to come around to,

In the early 1970s everyone was trying to sound like Merwin and I loved his Lice and Ladders books, but it did not take me too long to stop trying to imitate the inimitable. Same with James Wright. Phillip Levine was another story. I was so taken with his poems—still am—that I spent a couple years while working on my first graduate degree trying to write like Levine. Luckily my first poetry teacher, Glover Davis, was an early student of Levine’s and would always point out my thefts. I did not write many successful poems during that two and a half years at San Diego State, but I learned something, if not wholly consciously, about writing poems from reading Levine so closely. Peter Everwine was a big influence also, as was Charles Wright. Those three poets’ work has never faded for me.

DODD

In what ways might poetry be underestimated, even among poets and serious readers?

BUCKLEY

Many do not fully appreciate it as art, i.e. craft, discipline, work. It takes an equal amount of discipline and work to make a good poem as any other piece of art, but art in general is undervalued; look at the emaciated NEA for example. Of course the semiologists and theorists discount it totally; they look at writers as not much more than satellite dishes receiving messages. I had a colleague at a university in Pennsylvania say to me shortly before I left there that I didn’t really think I knew what I was doing when I was writing a poem, did I? This was at a social occasion, but he was serious. This kind of academic arrogance is not uncommon. He was so sure of his theory that the level of insult never occurred to him.

Then there is “popular” poetry by way of poetry slams and pop culture/socially immediate end rhymes, and people forget, at that level, the long hours—aside from degrees of talent—that go into real work. Now you may put in weeks or months and still not come up with a memorable poem or piece of writing, but the idea that it all comes in a flash of inspiration, that all you have to do is aim your Palm Pilot or BlackBerry at the brightest star on a clear night and save the document, dismisses poetry as unimportant and a minor hobby.

To do well at all, you have to give your life to it, and in return it gives you your life and some thinking about your life that may well support your spirit. Everyone cannot be a celebrated poet; all the usual received wisdom about politics applies. William Carlos Williams said that a successful poet is one who writes a successful poem. That’s it—it’s hard to keep going on that alone, but many have to. Poetry, any art, is the result of dedication and great discipline and I’ve never had the feeling that many appreciate that.

DODD

Aside from a handful we might name, it seems that poets often have to die or win the Nobel before they receive wide attention among American readers. What do we risk losing by not having a strong understanding of and appreciation for international contemporary poetry?

BUCKLEY

We risk missing out on some of our best poets and their original imaginations and thinking, and we risk a cultural and aesthetic myopia. The greater range and variety of voices the better. Szymborska is a good example. Without the Nobel, most of the English speaking world would not know about her. In Milosz’s anthology, Post-War Polish Poetry, published in 1965, Szymborska has but one poem. There was nothing in English until she got the prize in 1996. The Czech poet Jaroslav Seifert is another example. After he received the Nobel in 1984 The Selected Poetry of Jaroslav Seifert was brought out by an English publisher. Prior to that there were only two thin paperback books, one published in the UK, An Umbrella from Piccadilly, and one in the U.S., The Casting of Bells from The Spirit That Moves Us Press, both in 1983. Part of the function of major prizes is, I think, to bring the poet/writer to a larger audience.

However, to my view, a great deal of great poetry by great international poets is in print and is promoted. Look to Bly and all of the Spanish language poets he, along with others, has translated and rounded up into anthologies. Merwin has two books of selected translations, and James Wright translated many poems from Spanish and German. Of course Rexroth and all the Chinese and Japanese translations should not be forgotten. As far back as 1957 Langston Hughes translated the Selected Poems of Garbiela Mistral. Philip Levine does not, I feel, receive much credit for all the translating from Spanish he has done—Tarumba, by the great Mexican poet Jaime Sabines (along with Ernesto Trejo): Off the Map, by Gloria Fuertes, translated with Ada Long. And for anthologies, Levine has translated José Emilio Pacheco, Efrrain Huerta, Miguel de Unamuno, Jorge Guillén, Miguel Hernandez, and Claudio Rodriguez. Randy Blasing and Mutlu Konuk have been bringing Nazim Hikmet to an English speaking audience for more than thirty years and now have a revised and expanded edition of his selected poems. New Directions has done a good job over the years; to point out one example, Shadow Lands—selected poems by Johannes Bobrowski. In England, Bloodaxe has an eye on translations as well, recently the Romanian poet Liliana Ursu, The Sky Behind the Forest: Selected Poems. The University of Texas Press has an ongoing translation concern with books of Borges and Gabriela Mistral. And look at all the good years Robert Hass has put in helping Milosz get his great poems into English. William Matthews’ selected poems was in fact Selected Poems & Translations, and he translated a book of 100 epigrams of Martial, The Mortal City. In the 1970s Peter Everwine and Stephen Berg brought out translations of the ancient Aztec poetry and Everwine has recently published a new book of Aztec translations. And look at someone like David Young at Oberlin; he has recently edited a new anthology of Montale with translations by himself, Charles Wright, and Jonathan Galassi, and has translated the T’ang poets, Petrarch, as well as a superior rendering of Neruda’s The Heights of Macchu Piccu. Really, there is a lot available out there and I for one regularly bring a great deal of translation into my classes and workshops. The work is being done and done well and there is little excuse not to include it.

DODD

What are you currently working on or hoping to pursue?

BUCKLEY

I’m working on several things of late. With a graduate student, Ruben Quesada, I am translating some poems of the great Spanish poet Luis Cernuda. Ruben is especially interested in Cernuda’s work and life, a poet who is not near as well known to us as Lorca, Machado, Hernandez and others. I expect after I make my little contribution to the handful of poems we are working on, he will go on to more ambitious translations of Cernuda. I also have put together a book of prose poems. I find that over the last ten years or so I have counterpointed the lined poems—which more and more often present themselves in couplets or the triadic stanza we learned from Williams—with prose poems. It’s a book which collects twenty years of work, but really most all of it is new and recent. The prose poem has undergone a revival of late with Peter Johnson’s magazine, The Prose Poem: An International Journal and now Brian Clements’ good journal, Sentence: a journal of prose poetics. I have notes for a few essays. And, I guess it is about time for a New & Selected Poems, though I keep putting that off. I need much more time than is available to me to really get my teeth into that project, especially for a concentrated go at the “new” poems. But it’s there.

Online Exclusive: A Conversation with Melissa Kwasny

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Found in Willow Springs 65

September 29, 2006

Brett Ortler and Maya Zeller

A CONVERSATION WITH MELISSA KWASNY

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Photo Credit: poetryfoundation.org

MELLISA KWASNY COMES FROM THE GREAT tradition of poets writing in dialogue with the natural world, from the direct-address influence of Sappho, to H.D.'s treatment of nature as a character. Her first book of poems, The Archival Birds, was published in 2000 by Bear Star Press, and her latest book, Thistle (2006, Lost Horse Press), won the 2005 Idaho Prize for poetry. Kwasny is also the author of two novels, Trees Call for What They Need (Spinsters Ink, 1993) and Modern Daughters of the Outlaw West, (Spinsters Ink, 1990), and editor of Toward the Open Field: Poets on the Art of Poetry 1800-1950 (Wesleyan University Press, 2004). Her latest book of poems, Reading Novalis in Montana, is due out soon from Milkweed Editions.

Kwasny was born in Indiana and earned an MFA from the Uni­versity of Montana, where she studied with Patricia Goedicke , Mark Levine, and Greg Pape. She spent ten years in San Francisco teaching in the California Poets in the Schools Program, and now lives outside Jefferson City, Montana.

Kwasny's work has appeared in The Bellingham Review, Crab Or­chard Review, Cutbank, Columbia, Poetry Northwest, Seneca Review, Ploughshares, Three Penny Review, and Willow Springs among many other journals. We met with her over lunch in Missoula, Montana.

 

MAYA ZELLER

In the introduction to Toward The Open Field, you talk about the "kind of patterning shaped not by inherited conventions but rather by the specific demands of the individual poem, or poet, or subject." What is your process of "creating" form?

MELISSA KWASNY

I think people who are writing in open form—which most of us are now—are working with an ear to the movement of the poem itself, a processual rhythm. It's not imposed from without, from traditional forms. Most contemporary poets don't work with a declared meter, we're doing it by ear, by how it looks on the page. In theory, it's weighted, depending on different things—an individual lyricism. I talk as I'm working, sounding things out; the poem's sound really does depend on that moment. I have certain sounds that are too much mine, of course, and I try to disrupt those. Many writers try to seriously disrupt their own fabric to see what happens.

For instance, in Thistle, I'm working with a very tight line, tight im­age, eight focus—I'm intimately focused on this one plane, the mullein for instance, so the lines are shorter and the rhythm is very integrated. Once I establish a rhythm, I pretty much stick to it—or if there's a sound patterning, I stick with it for a while, because I'm in that world for as long as it takes for the poem to be finished. I love that kind of focus, that kind of aesthetic. The paradox is that the tighter the focus, the more it reveals an entire world. But after Thistle, I felt the need to bring more experiences into the poems, including my reading, my relation­ships, history, world events. The poems in Thistle are conversations with planes; I wanted to include the conversations I was having with others, in particular with the writers I was reading. Many of them were poets, but there were also people who were thinking of—for lack of a better word, "nature"—and I wanted to have conversations with chose people. You know, when people read Thistle, they say, "There's no people in this!" Although that's not true, I wanted to bring more people into the next manuscript, so the lines got longer, the images became more fragmented, there were more of them. And so the voice, the rhythm, changes.

ZELLER

Does your use of tercets, with long lines focused around a mid-stanza pivot phrase, grow out of the poem?

KWASNY

I'm glad you mention nor just the tercet but the turn. I worked with terza rima for a while; in the next manuscript, I have three pages of terza rima. But the turn through images is what I'm working on now. Your emphasis might be on the line break; your emphasis might be more on the different resonances of a particular word or words, more language-based. But it's important to me to look at image as the way the world talks. The mysteries of the world reveal themselves through close attendance to image—and by image, I mean anything perceived by the senses. With image, we have, "The natural object is always the adequate symbol"—what Pound said—or people say, "It's going to be able to stand on its own without interpretation." So we don't want interpreta­tion, but if the image stands alone, we also notice that it starts to flicker back and forth. Is it a concrete thing? Is it metaphor? Or is it just what I'm seeing? I love that. And on a deeper level, on a phenomenological level, that's what the world consists of—we see it, and it speaks to us. So, formally, I want to know: If we don't interpret it, do we leave the symbol to free-float as the symbolises did? How do we move from im­age to image without interpretation? If we leave it to that, how do we see it? Because we do see strings of images. Are they clusters? And if we don't explain, the tension between emotional statements that aren't interpreted and image is fascinating to me. I've started writing prose poems, because if I get rid of the line breaks, what I have is image and syntax for movement. I'm interested in how the combination of image and emotional statement that doesn't explain the image work together to get me to the next image.

BRETT ORTLER

How is a prose poem different from a poem with line breaks?

KWASNY

All you have is a movement forward to rely on for rhythm; it's all movement forward, because you don't have line breaks to give you that music. So you have to really concentrate on each sound space. How does this sentence move? Because the problem with rhythm, the problem with space, is that you have to rely on your ear to create it.

What we love about poems is the silence in them, and you get that from stanza breaks, line breaks. It's due to caesuras that form in a line. In a prose poem, you don't have chose things, so you have to do it with sound, but you also have to do it with the spacing of the image.

ZELLER

You seem to do that by accruing images, and then popping in that big question. And you were talking earlier about making statements without analysis, about allowing image to do the work, and then that voice kind of links your images. Would you like to talk about that ac­cruement and then the voice that comes through questions?

KWASNY

What comes to mind is the word "trust." I have something I'm work­ing toward now—that I have faith-in-progress, not faith in progress. But my goal is faith-in-process, in the progress of the process. The trust is in the image, and you're trusting that image, you're just feeling. Then you have to write the statement that comes through. That's what the image led you to and so it's a kind of process. It's not narrative. The great thing about a prose poem is that it can be prose and disavow narration, which is against its grain-against the grain of its movement.

ZELLER

Your poetry is filled with plant dialogue—in the "Talk of Trees" section of The Archival Birds, and then in Thistle—whether the plant speaks or the speaker talks to the plant. How do you respond to argu­ments critics make about anthropomorphism?

KWASNY

I addressed that in an essay last summer called "Learning to Speak to Them." It's just been published in the magazine, 26. It's a complicated question. Of course I'm interested in some kind of communication, a speaking and a listening, between the human and non-human. I think we really are restricted in our knowledge by being only human. That effort toward communication has been a personal practice of mine—and tied of course to poetry—so with the tree section in Archival Birds, a series of poems meditate on, mediate with trees. Thistle came out of that experi­ence of writing those poems. At some point in this process, the voice becomes indeterminate. We can't tell—is that you speaking or is that the plant speaking? Is that you listening or is that the plant listening? In a communion, one doesn't know exactly where the "I" is. I not only have a spiritual interest in that, but also a poetic interest. One could ask, Is it personification? which means you are giving the plant human character­istics. Or is it anthropomorphism? where you are not giving it, but you see everything as human. Or is it metaphor? You know, we say a tree is a metaphor because we want to project human characteristics onto the tree. Or does the tree have something to teach us about being human?

I've looked at a lot of traditions. When I was young, I was in love with Native American songs. Chippewa music, Seminole music. I was reading the volumes of beautiful translations by the ethnomusicologist Frances Densmore. Many of the songs have that indeterminate voice­ we don't know who the speaker is. One of my favorites is called "Owl Woman Song," and it goes:

How shall I begin my songs
in the blue night that is settling?
In the great night my heart will go out;
toward me the darkness comes rattling.
In the great night my heart will go out.

Who's talking here? Is it the owl? Is it the Papago woman named Owl Woman? Is she talking as an owl, or is she talking to a human being as an owl? Or is she pretending she is the owl? You don't know. It's dispersed. It's indeterminate. You don't know who the conversation is with. And I think about that. While working on my M.F.A., I also was working on a Masters in literature. I studied the imagist poets. There's a little poem by H.D. called "Oread," which I love:

Whirl up, sea-
whirl your pointed pines,
splash your great pines
on our rocks,
hurl your green over us,
cover us with your pools of fir.

An oread is a Mountain Spirit. Is she conjuring the mountain spirit or is she speaking as the Mountain Spirit? Or is she speaking as a person whom the Mountain Spirit comes to? I don't know, and I love that flicker.

Patricia Goedicke, when I was working on Thistle, said, "I'm wor­ried about this, because people are going to say, 'Is this too much like Louise Gliick's Wild Iris?'" But I feel we did two different things, even though I love that book; it's a gorgeous book, but in some ways it's a Christian book—in some ways a plane becomes a metaphor for a higher god. And so I thought we were working under very different premises. That's actually why I wrote the "Wild Iris" poem in Thistle—in homage but also because I couldn't pretend that the book's not there.

ORTLER

There's a spiritual impulse in your work—Thistle is reminiscent of the Psalms, with its prayer and lamentation, often in the same breath. Is prayer related to poetry?

KWASNY

Sure. There's a wonderful statement by Paul Celan: "Attention is the prayer of the soul." In some ways, that is what prayer is, our abil­ity to attend the moment, to attend to being alive. That we are here is amazing. That you stop and are attendant to that fact. Isn't it amazing? Isn't it amazing that tree is here? The capacity to feel that is like prayer. That's like a psalm.

ORTLER

You refer to Emily Dickinson a number of times in Thistle. Your poetry, like hers, shares a certain meditative impulse. How has Dickinson influenced your work?

KWASNY

She's not a major influence, or one that's been very conscious to me. I wish I were smart enough to understand her better! [Laughs.] Some of her poems are dear to my heart, and I love the letters. I used to call Thistle "Bright Absentee" because of her poem which begins, "I tend my flowers for thee." But something like that, one line like that, you can carry around for years. And she is concentrated; I can't read her off the top of my head. Everything is in that one line. Nothingness and everything all in one poem. I wish I could say she's influenced me more. I feel like H.D. was more of an influence for me. When I was re­ally young, I loved Tess Gallagher. When I was an undergraduate at the University of Montana, studying with Richard Hugo, I started reading Gallagher's book Instructions to the Double, and I started writing like her. You don't even know you're doing it, but when I look back years later, I realize.

ZELLER

Poets are often guilty of recycling their obsessive words and images, and these familiar images usually stem from a common source. What is the significance of the blue robe or some of your other obsessions?

KWASNY

Well, there it is. [Points toward the sky.] It's part of the earth, and when I discovered the sky was part of the earth, that it came all the way down here, it was amazing to me. It sounds so silly, but we live in this sky. It's a primary gift. That it's blue! And not some other awful color, like purple. . .it could be brown, or maroon.

We live on a blue planet, because of water—because of the four ele­ments and the way that they impact each other, enter each ocher. There's something about a robe that reveals. lt encloses, but it also reveals. There's something sexy about it. We want mystery in our lives, and so those small revelations of it are what a lot of people would define as spirit, as something that takes them to the divinity in life. We don't want big revelations, just little ones to remind us. The robe has something to do with that. And birds. I'm reading an Iranian text, The Conference of the Birds. It's a long poem, and all the birds have to go on this journey to see God. Each one uses a different excuse. One says: "It's going to be a long trip," and the nightingale says something like "I'm in love with the earth. I can't leave her. I don't want to go on this trip." And the squirrel says, "I'm just fine here, I don't need to go on this trip."

ORTLER

In "White Clover," you write, "You can't just live here/ like a swarm of faint-hearted bees,/ clogged with emotion. But really, what is there to do?" This poem expresses a frustration common to many poets—those moments when our sense of direction leaves us and we flail. How can poetry help?

KWASNY

It can remind us, as poetry does constantly, that our job is to be—to really be—alive to our worlds and our relationships.And once we realize that, people can responsibly say, "I have to be something." I think all readings of our poetry help us. In that particular poem, I don't really have an answer, except here it is: it's in our minds. There is frustration in our world. There seems to be so much that has gone wrong. The poet George Oppen quit writing for thirty years and became a communist and a political activist, and said, "You can't just use poetry. . .you can't tell yourself you're changing the world by writing poems." If you're going to change the world, go into the Peace Corps. You're deceiving yourself I think anything you can do to honor and strengthen the inner life is going to make the world better. The big problem is that we don't believe in an inner life anymore. The idea of the individual self, the honoring of the individual life, is dissipating in our culture. I like to think poetry helps in that way.

ZELLER

Regarding the attention to self and its connectivity with the "over­ soul," in your writing, you seem to have an attention to that larger good outside the self—

KWASNY

One of my favorite expressions is from Denise Levertov: "The progression seems clear to me: from Reverence for Life to Attention to Life, from Attention to Life to a highly developed Seeing and Hearing, from Seeing and Hearing (faculties almost indistinguishable for the poet) to the Discovery and Revelation of Form, from Form to Song." She's talking about attending to the poem, attending to nature. You know, that attending makes you religious, makes you compassionate I wish I would have said that!

ORTLER

You mentioned that things have "gone wrong." What has gone wrong?

KWASNY

An incredible shamelessness that our country is best. We don't feel shame that we torture people, we don't feel any shame or repercussions that we bomb children, that we use depleted uranium. We've had this consciousness shift—before, at least people hid these acts. They would have been ashamed of them. Now it's all done so blatantly. People think it's okay. And that feels dangerous. A lot has gone bad.

ORTLER

In that same vein, do you think the culture's veering toward enter­tainment, and away from the arts, is emblematic of that shift?

KWASNY

It is evidence of the lack of time for interior life. Rene Char has a beautiful poem in which he asks, "How can we show, without betraying them, those simple things sketched between the twilight and the sky?" He answers, "By the virtue of stubborn life, in the circle of artist Time, between death and beauty." That wasn't an esthete; he wasn't blind to what was happening in the world. In fact, he risked his life as a commander in the French Resistance to the Nazis. At the same time, he was deeply pained and deeply reflective—deeply aware of what he was doing. He was thinking, feeling, being alive inside to the world outside. Attesting to that fact is his incredible Leaves of Hypnos. It's funny. In French, the line reads "Par la verru de la vie obstinee, clans la boucle du Temps artiste." A friend who has translated Char pointed out to me that the poet is naming Time as an artist—in the circle of Time, who is an artist—whereas I was thinking of Artist-Time as a special kind of time we could choose, that we do choose, a time where one lives in a state of creative attention. I have to say that I'm fond of both interpretations.

Online Exclusive: A Conversation with William Kittredge

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September 30, 2006

Stephen Hirst and Shawn Vestal

A CONVERSATION WITH WILLIAM KITTREDGE

William kittredge

Photo Credit: opb.org

WILLIAM KITTREDGE WAS 35 WHEN HE STOPPED ranching on his family's huge Eastern Oregon spread to attend the Iowa Writers' Workshop, earning his MFA in 1969. In the subsequent decades he has become a distinctive voice of the Western experience. In his memoirs, essays, and fiction he has explored the legacy of the agricultural West, and the effect of ownership and dominion on the land and people of the region.

By 1987, Kittredge had become established nationally as a writer to watch, with a new collection of essays, Owning It All, following two collec­tions of short stories, We Are Not In This Together, and The Van Gogh Field. He published a 1992 memoir about growing upon-and eventually leaving—a vast family ranch in Oregon's Warner Valley, Hole in the Sky. He has also written the non-fiction works Who Owns The West? and The Nature of Generosity. He and his longtime companion, Annick Smith, edited the Montana literary anthology The Last Best Place, and he retired from a long career as a professor at the University of Montana in 1991.

In fall, 2006, Kittredge's first novel, The Willow Field, was published by Knopf. Of that novel, author David James Duncan wrote: "William Kittredge is the bard laureate of the American West, and this novel will be bringing people joy thousands of days from today." In March, 2007, Kit­tredge was named the winner of the 27'" annual Los Angeles Times Book Prizes' Robert Kirsch Award far lifetime achievement.

Kittredge was interviewed over breakfast at The Shack in his longtime home of Missoula, Montana.

 

STEPHEN HIRST

Your new novel, The Willow Field, just came out. After writing short stories, and memoir and essays for so long, what are some of the challenges you faced in the novel?

WILLIAM KITTREDGE

When I began writing—thirty-some years ago—I thought I would write novels. I imagined being one of these guys, Faulkner or Hemingway, who would have a novel out every two or three years. Just like that, every two years I'd publish a novel. Sure. I could never figure out how to make a novel work at all. Tried it several rimes. A friend who looked at one of them told me, "Your agent wouldn't touch this with gloves on."

I started writing essays because I couldn't find ways to include a lot of things I wanted to deal with in short stories. Eventually, nonfiction began to wear out. I must have written every anecdote in my life at least once. I wrote that material to death. And when I tried to start a novel, my problem was, I was used to writing about ideas and theories. With The Willow Field, I had this business of driving horses to Calgary. And that was all. But, I thought, That's a good thing. It's active. Let's get these guys moving and see what they want to do. As I've told students by the thousands, if your characters have to do what you want them to do, they're just puppets, they're dead. They should get to do what they want to do. If it fucks up the story, too bad, it fucks up the story. But of course it won't really. The characters will bring it to life.

When I was beginning the novel, I didn't even know where this kid lived. I had him quit high school in Reno and get a job at a ranch near Winnemucca. Then he starts screwing the ranch manager's daughter. So the boss tells him, You're gonna marry her or I'm going to kick your ass daily here. Or you can do the smart thing and take this job driving horses to Calgary. The kid takes the job, and meets a woman in Canada. Through all this, the characters came to life in my imagination, to the point where I dreamed about them as if they were real people.

HIRST

When you're writing nonfiction, to what extent does fiction—or techniques usually associated with fiction—play a part in your work?

KITTREDGE

Fiction and nonfiction are in many ways the same creature. The kind of nonfiction I wrote—first-person memoir—really exists in your head. It's a story. Writers shouldn't invent from whole cloth in nonfic­tion; they shouldn't make people say things they didn't say. But to what degree is anything nonfiction? It's always my version of the story. I'm the one deciding what to emphasize and what to leave out, organizing the anecdotes. It's a construct that I make up. It's my story. Someone else may write a completely different story after witnessing the same events. There's really no such thing as nonfiction.

What got me writing essays was Rocky Mountain Magazine, started in Denver in 1978. The magazine represented a breakthrough for Western writers because it was slick, paid money, and looked like Esquire or G but it was entirely Western. The editor, Terry McDonnell, called and told me he'd read some short stories I had written, and he wanted me to write an essay for the first issue. It paid seven hundred and fifty bucks, which in those days was huge. I was used to getting ten. I said I'd like to but I couldn't, I didn't know how. He said, ''I'll tell ya," and he told me in about three minutes. It's worked ever since. It's perfectly formulaic, but a formula that works, an exact description of human decision-making, how we're continually revising ourselves, telling ourselves a story and revising that story, re-imagining it, re-seeing it.

Terry asked for some ideas, and I earnestly wrote up about three, each on a single-spaced page. And I gave him three or four titles, no ideas attached. He called back and said, "I want something called 'Redneck Secrets,' (one of the titles). I want to be able to put that on the cover." So I said, "O.K., sure, no problem." Then I hung up and I thought to myself, Fuck, what are redneck secrets?

A good editor is often able to see what you're trying to do even before you really understand, and place it  in a context which clarifies it. In the  revision process they can get you out of trouble, and point out things that are weak or not well-thought-out. I sent in "Redneck Secrets," the first essay I ever wrote, and Terry found some things he thought were awkward and pointed out what was spongy, the soft spots. So then I went way over the top re-thinking those spots and came up with the most outrageous parts in the essay. Terry called and said, "The new stuffs great! Wish the rest of the essay was up to it."

HIRST

What do you think are the essential characteristics of a redneck?

KITTREDGE

They're disenfranchised people, often in the historic West of Scotch or Irish descent. Kicked out of Scotland and Ireland, kicked out of the Carolinas, kicked out of the Ozarks, pressing on and on. They tend to be libertarian, anti-government. They're angry, perhaps justifiably, furious because of the ways they've been fucked over. If you go to breakfast out where Hugo's old bar used to be, suddenly you're not in upscale Missoula. Different kinds of people come into the restaurant, it's a different world.

It's more of a redneck place. I knew that world; I grew up in it. Our upscale world is speeding off into the future, and that world—they're not on the airship yet.

SHAWN VESTAL

You wrote about writers trying to get past the romantic "lie" of the West, crying to write about the region in a clear-eyed way. How do you write about a place without being limited as a regional writer?

KITTREDGE

It's said that if you want to have a hardback bestseller, you have to write a book that sells between Boston and Baltimore. That's where they buy hardbacks. On the other hand, writers can live anywhere. Richard Ford lived in Montana for only a few years and yet Rock Springs is dead on the money, one of the four or five finest recent books about the contemporary West. But Richard was lucky enough to move on before he could be labeled "regional," which seems like another way of saying I didn't understand the emotional life of other places, and I'm not going to write about people I don't understand. When I began this novel, I knew I would write about the West, and probably the West that I grew up in, not the West as it is now. This novel really gets away from the "cowboy West." In any event, that world is the only one I've ever understood well enough to write about.

The mythology of the West is artificial. Those kinds of cowboy conflicts did exist, but those silly truth-and-righteousness stories never, ever happened—there were no Lone Rangers riding around. Years ago someone pointed out that there were more gunshot killings in a trailer village on the outskirts of Missoula in the last ten years than Dodge City had in ten years of its gun-fighting heyday.

VESTAL

You've noted that people in your hometown in Oregon consider you a traitor in some ways, because of your writing about the agricultural destruction of the area. Are you troubled by that?

KITTREDGE

I'd feel troubled if I hadn't had the guts to say it. We did a lot of damage there, in shore order. We lost a foot of topsoil, the fields were going saline, we had to fertilize in various elaborate ways. Two-thirds of the water birds are gone—there had  been  enormous  flocks when we first got there. And it didn't have to go down the drain like that. If someone doesn't say something, it will just continue. So I don't think I'm a traitor. Some of the practices in place now have to be changed. And they will be changed.

HIRST

Native tribes factor into some of your earliest memories, as you reveal in your memoir. How did that affect your early sense of owner­ship or mastery of the land?

KITTREDGE

When I was a kid, there were some native people who lived half a mile from us. In Owning it All I write about them, about an Indian girl dying, and watching them bury her in their graveyard. But those people, I guess they were northern Shoshone, were gone by the time I was six or seven years old. Another fellow, Don Pancho, worked for my father and his wife cleaned house for my mother, and their children were our friends, three little kids that were playmates, you know. We hung out with them about every day, somehow missing the idea that they were disenfranchised compared to us. We thought we were all basically in the same boat, except my mother wasn't cleaning house for the Indian lady, whose house was actually tenting over a frame. We may have had some smidgen of an idea that some of those people were oppressed, but nobody said anything about it. We assumed that was the nature of things. That was how American kids were educated to accept inequality.

VESTAL

There's a romance about the circle of writers who were in Missoula during the 1970s and '80s—you, Richard Hugo, James Welch. What was it like to be in that vibrant community of writers?

KITTREDGE

It was like a big party. And it rolled on and on and on and on, out of control a lot of the time. There wasn't much talk of writing. Once in a while somebody would bring something up—mostly guys like myself who had the romantic notion about writing novels. "You guys get to write a novel, I wish I could write one." But it was fun. We were young, and destroyed a lot of relationships. The university seemed to expect that sort of behavior. I used to say, "God bless Dylan Thomas; he set the standard for us all."

Hugo came in 1964, when he was 40 years old, and replaced Leslie Fiedler. Fiedler had been in Missoula since 1946. He was a great teacher. Fiedler changed the state, in lots of ways. You go out to Sidney or Circle and you'll find lawyers or school teachers or librarians who were students of Fiedler's. He was radical, politically, and those people are all over out there, still espousing free speech and maximum liberty.

Hugo had never taught. He was a student of Roethke's at the Uni­versity of Washington around the same time as Jim Wright. And right off the bat, he had Jim Welch. He had Rick DeMarinis and Ed Lahey. They were the scars. But Hugo—these were his first classes. This guy didn't know what he was doing at all. DeMarinis wrote a very funny piece about Hugo's classes, about Hugo smoking cigarettes, lighting one off another and walking around the back of the room, staring out the window at co-eds. But Hugo knew what he knew. He was kind of the harbormaster for all those parties.

VESTAL

What role did drinking play in the work and lives of writers you've known?

KITTREDGE

In my own case, it was some kind of self-medication. It started on the ranch, because I wanted to be a writer and couldn't see any way it was possible. I wanted to get out. Silent Spring came out and with it the feeling that, Jesus Christ, we're ruining the world when we thought we were doing God's work. Turned out our farming and grazing practices weren't exactly what God had in mind. I  had an extended—I  guess you'd call it an anxiety attack. The only way to kill the anxiety was to drink. I think it happens to a lot of people. Carver was that way. Hugo was that way. Hell, everybody was. Welch was. In the Warner Valley when I was a little kid, my father had a guy who worked for him who was a stone alcoholic. He was running water on these big fields. My dad had me in the pickup when I was about six years old, and we went driving down to where there were about 200 acres flooded. Here comes this guy in his old Jeep pickup, drunk. And he looked at my dad and said, "Well, shit, you get drunk sometimes." And my Dad looks at him and said, "That's right, and I sober up some­times too."

That was kind of the model for many of us around here. You've got to sober up. You can't write drunk. That accounts for the fact that not much got done by some people. Drinking brought on release. It seemed like fun. It seemed like an important part of life. Hugo sobered up and wondered what ordinar­ily sober people did with all their time, how they used up the days. Some people quit altogether. Others just got it under control. Others drowned.

VESTAL

The Last Best Place is an iconic Montana anthology. How did it come to be?

KITTREDGE

Annick and I went to the history conference in Helena, and met a bunch of people. Driving back, we got the idea it'd be fun to do an an­thology. We didn't know enough, but now we knew people who did. So we asked Jim Welch and he said he'd do it, and asked some other people and pretty soon we formed a board. We had a meeting, kind of kicked around what ought to be in there. It was pretty clear that nobody had a clear idea how to do it. We all had areas of specialty, and we split up the material. Everybody started Xeroxing pages out of things we had found, eventually 5 or 6,000 pages. We had meetings about every six months. It was a great pleasure. We became good friends. It was like a club.

The only pay we got was meetings in great places, which were underwritten by grants, places like Chico Hot Springs. Slowly we put it together. We made mistakes. There were a lot of people who should have been in there who aren't, who just missed. Rick Bass should have been in—somehow he didn't come on the radar at that point.

And we didn't have a title. We were actually in a trailer house at Chico Hot Springs. We had finished the whole proceeding, and we had the book. We had a bottle of gin, and it was twilight, and we were sitting there drinking and I was smoking cigarettes and trying to think of a title. In the air there was Hugo's The Last Good Kiss, and Lincoln—the United State as the last best hope of mankind. I said, "The Last Best Place" and everybody said, Okay, that'll do.

HIRST

You wrote in the essay "Buckaroos" that people aren't going away to seek their fortunes anymore on a grand scale—that nobody believes that the Beatles or big-time rodeo is going to save them. Do you still believe that?

KITTREDGE

No, not necessarily. The salvation of the world is those kids at the university or high school who are really trying to engage the world—see it fresh and come up with workable options and a sense of a world that's decent and fair. At the same time, there's a lot of anger from people who are disenfranchised and left out of the equation, and they get tired of the smart kids, of computer geeks, the enviros; they get tired of all this stuff.

We live under schizophrenic conditions. We live in a world where, if I have a house for sale and you want to buy it and I don't try to get as much as I can for it, I'm regarded as crazy, and if you don't try to get it as cheap as you can, you're regarded as crazy. On the other hand, we sit around and have meaningful discussions like this, which involve nothing but our ideas and faiths and hopes, and you go home and there's your mother and there's your father, and there's this whole generous, giving, thinking society. Whereas out here in the world it's this completely other thing. The problem is coming up with a way to translate that private, generous world into the public world. It's not a matter of economics; it's a matter of emotional commitment.

VESTAL

You wrote in "Who Owns the West," "It is the proper work of our national leaders to bring us to confrontation against our own cold heart­edness." What's your assessment of where this country stands in relation to its cold heartedness?

KITTREDGE

I think our society is rapidly changing—for the better. There are polls showing that cultural creatives, the people interested in art and ideas, in 1975 numbered about 10 million in the United States. Now there are 50, 55, 60 million. It's a huge change. If that number doubles again, the whole ballgame's different.

So I tend to feel pretty positive, and at the same rime George Bush—Did you hear Barry Lopez yesterday? He was supposed to talk about his book, and, instead, he ranted for 20 minutes about the torture bill Congress just approved. He said, "For 217 years, this would have been unthinkable in the United States. Now it's OK. What the hell is wrong?" One of the things that's good is people like Barry making statements like that, which they didn't used to make.

HIRST

You've written about people taking pride in what they do. Do you feel it's easier to take pride on a ranch or when you're writing?

KITTREDGE

A lot of people ask me, "Don't you wish you were back on the ranch right now?" Oh yeah, I'd like to live 300 miles from a bookstore. No, I don't wish I was back on the ranch. If I did I'd probably be there.

One of the characters in this novel says, after 30 years, when you've gone through the same ritual 30 times, where this is June, this is July, this is August, this is September, you realize that you're going to be going through these processes, branding and haying and so on, for the rest of your life. Some people find that enormously rewarding and some people find it enormously stifling.

I'm one of the people who moves on. No, I don't miss it.

There's a lot of romance connected to ranching. People forget. I remember the first thing I did when I got our of the Air Force and went back to the Warner Valley. We had to collect 6,200 mother cows for brucellosis testing. These big bang-headed mothers. And it was Janu­ary. It was sleeting, the mud about five inches deep, the cow shit about three inches on top of it. After couple of weeks of that, the romance kind of goes out of it. lt just depends on your temperament and what you want. I fell in love with books—about my junior year in college—with ideas, with writing, with the idea of being a writer. Took a class from Bernard Malamud. He was teaching five classes of comp. I lived in the Phi Deir house, and we were all jocks. These guys on baseball rides, basketball rides. First-year freshmen. And they had to take Malamud's class.

Routinely, first class, he'd say, "All right, who's here on an athletic scholarship? You guys, next time show up in running shoes and sweats. Would you please? I'm not going to have you in here. You're going to go out and run around the building and at the end of the quarter I'm going to give you an A. This is not a problem for me, and I hope it's not a problem for you. I will not have you in here. You cause too much trouble, you don't give a shit about this, you might as well get in shape." And no one ever called him on it.

VESTAL

What are your thoughts as you look back on your years of teaching writing?

KITTREDGE

I used to say every bar I went into, there's an ex-student behind the bar. But it's a great pleasure. Some of them have gone on and been real good. Maybe one in a hundred. People criticize writing programs. They used to say that a third of the people who got out of Iowa were functionally illiterate, and it might be true. People say, How can you justify that? Surely being in a writing program is at least going to make people more empathetic, better read. It doesn't hurt anything. I think it's a good thing. Hugo used to say it's the only place where your life might be taken seriously

People complain about workshop stories. I never identified what a workshop story was. I know that sitting on a ranch in Eastern Oregon by yourself is a goddamned poor way to learn how to do it. You can learn it a lot faster by going to school and talking to people who know something. Things seeps in after a while, a way of thinking, which somehow works for you.

Issue 59: A Conversation with Charles D’Ambrosio

Charles D’Ambrosio
Willow Springs Issue 59

Found in Willow Springs 59

A TALK WITH CHARLES D'AMBROSIO

October 10, 2006

Stephen Knezovich and Pete Sheehy

Charles D’Ambrosio

Photo Credit: Poets and Writers

MANY REVIEWS of Charles D’Ambrosio’s work compare it to the short stories of Raymond Carver, Thom Jones, and Denis Johnson. D’Ambrosio is the author of an essay collection, Orphans (Clear Cut, 2004), and two short story collections: The Point (Little, Brown, 1995), a PEN/Hemingway Award Finalist and New York Times Notable Book of the Year, and The Dead Fish Museum (Knopf, 2006). His work has appeared in The New Yorker, The Paris Review, The Pushcart Anthology, Best American Short Stories, A Public Space, and elsewhere.

D’Ambrosio grew up in Seattle during the 1970s and 1980s—a place he calls “an old-time, middle-class Seattle”—and attended Oberlin College in Ohio. He received his MFA from the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, where he later served as a visiting faculty member. He now resides in Portland, Oregon, with his wife.

About his writing’s connection to the Pacific Northwest, D’Ambrosio says, “All the original violence of the American project is still vibrating…in a big bang sort of way—you can stand at the end of things and hear the beginning. It makes sense that pattern would show up in my stories.”

D’Ambrosio was interviewed at the Top Hat Lounge & Casino during the Montana Festival of the Book in Missoula.

 

STEPHEN KNEZOVICH

Today you were talking about “The High Divide,” the first story in your new collection, and you said it took twelve years to write. All your stories seem to have patience in the way they unfold, but are you always so patient?

CHARLES D’AMBROSIO

With “The High Divide,” twelve years passed between the time I completed a first draft to the time I felt it was finished. I haven’t had that experience before, where I kept working on something and failing for reasons I couldn’t pin down. Typically, I’d be more sensible—I’d quit—but with “The High Divide” a year or two would pass and I’d pick it up again and it would fail in the same way. Now I like to think the solution to the story wasn’t so much about improved artistry or deeper insight as it was just time passing.

The story, as I originally wrote it, was animated by hatred. I can’t explain it any other way. But the problem with hatred is that it doesn’t really have any shape—it will never start to close in on itself. Hatred, as a force, works against aesthetic completion, or something. In the end, I kind of changed—that extreme hatred went out of me, just enough—and “The High Divide” became a more loving story. I know that sounds vague, but that’s the path the writing took. At times, the story was extremely long. New characters would come in on draft twenty, but when I’d pick the piece back up, for draft twenty-one, I’d throw those characters out. I was more like a murderer than a writer, hating my creation—all creation, probably. I was all over the map.

Then there are other stories, like “Drummond & Son,” that offer a totally different writing experience. One day I went into a typewriter repair shop in Seattle and saw this wall full of refurbished machines, each with a blank sheet of paper rolled in the platen. When you opened the door of the shop the blank sheets waved back and forth in unison; it was like a writer’s nightmare. And because I like my imagery a bit blunt, a little on the obvious side, I thought this would be perfect for some story, and I went home and rolled a blank sheet of paper—which I still have—in my Olivetti, and I typed down the basic idea of the story, the sketch that would eventually become “Drummond & Son.” But I didn’t write the actual story for like four years. I just had that sheet of paper, a typed suggestion of a story, though much of what I wrote that day survives in the finished story. When I finally sat down to work in earnest, I wrote “Drummond & Son” in a week. But it’s one of those things where, honestly, it took me four years to write.

PETE SHEEHY

In “Drummond & Son,” your description of the typewriter—the worn rollers, the keys that don’t quite go—is so exactly detailed and key to who the character is that it made me wonder if your stories usually come to you through an image or a voice or something else.

D’AMBROSIO

I spend a lot of days early in the writing trying to get the right sound. It’s a kind of music I hear in my head and I want to match it on the page. I have a sense the whole story will unlock once I strike the right note. That was true of “Drummond & Son,” but when I sat down to write the story, I also knew the last line, which I never do. Writers are different: Do you want to know the ending so you know where you’re going, or does knowing the ending somehow kill your desire to go there? Katherine Anne Porter said something like: I never start a story unless I know the ending. I’m just the opposite. It can be horrid if I know the ending. I’ll start steering the narrative, writing to a thesis—everything geared to that ending, and the story loses its vibrancy, because I’m directing it too much. Generally, I do everything I can to keep myself in the dark about the end of a story. In fact, my rule is, if I see the ending too early, then that can’t be the actual end—it’s got to be something else, something I don’t see.

But I knew the last line of that story, almost from the get-go. It was going to be the father saying “I love you” to his son. And I thought to myself: You know, it’s really hard to say “I love you” in real life, but it’s even harder to say in a story. And it’s nearly impossible to have one man say it to another without it being ironic or some sort of joke. The whole project became an attempt to justify that last line, to create the story as a housing for the last line, a housing for that love, really. That was motivating. So it couldn’t be a normal day; it had to be difficult, because that love had to be complex. And even with all this difficulty, something would endure, and Drummond’s innate feelings, while tested, would guide him through a very perilous day, and the love would be unreasonable, stupid—and truer because of it.

KNEZOVICH

You’ve said that “Drummond & Son” is the most traditional story in the collection. Do you think knowing the ending beforehand had something to do with the story’s movement?

D’AMBROSIO

A little. It’s the most linear story: beginning, middle, end. The characters are presented in your typical third-person manner. The story is classical. It’s my attempt to imitate Joyce, the Joyce of Dubliners, with all those decent middle-class figures stressed by circumstances and pressures that seem to come from within the very culture meant to sustain them. In its organization, it’s a very simple story. The complexity is in the language and the images and some of the dialogue, but the story is simple in its movement, and I like that. Part of what I was aware of in that simplicity is that Drummond is not a complex man. I don’t think he’s stupid, but he’s not educated. I imagine that he’s learned most of what he knows from working hard and going to church regularly. He’s repaired typewriters all his life. His father repaired typewriters before him. But he’s in a complex situation: he’s divorced and alone and he’s got a schizophrenic son. His life is complex, but he is not—though that doesn’t mean his capacity for love is any less rich or worthy. So some of that narrative simplicity was guided a little bit by my sense of who the character is. It seemed honest to try to write a simple story about this man, a story that wouldn’t condescend or mock or get all twisty and clever. I worked hard toward the end, removing anything that would sound clever—as a writer you’re always tempted to wink, or pull off something sly. But I tried to be honest.

SHEEHY

Does the short story form still challenge you as much as it did when you wrote The Point?

D’AMBROSIO

I’m working on a novel, so I’m off in other directions, but the form will always be challenging. There are probably people who would say it’s a more complex form, more difficult and demanding than a novel. I don’t know. But the form is where the challenge is in a story: how to capture that density and how to solve all the problems you need to solve inside a limited space. At some point, in every story, I go through a stretch where I think of the writing as pure problem solving. In a way, that’s what you’re confronted with from the very beginning. You can’t have a dead stretch, whereas you can in a novel. [Laughs.] There are great novels where you read thirty pages that don’t exactly come to life, but they don’t kill the novel. With the short story, if you’re not achieving maximum density—using as much inventiveness as possible—you lose the story. Right now, I may be less intrigued by that challenge or maybe I feel a little constrained by it; I want to explore stuff outside of the difficulty of that form.

KNEZOVICH

Was your novel originally conceived as a novel, or did you think of it first as a short story?

D’AMBROSIO

It was definitely a novel from the start. It wasn’t like a short story that just got too big for its britches. I have written stories before that I felt should have been longer, and I spent a lot of time beating them into shape, sometimes willfully and perversely and in ways that, looking back, I can see are unnatural. You know, doing shorthand little things I’m not particularly proud of. But the novel was definitely a novel from the get-go. Though I want it to be a short novel.

SHEEHY

How close are you to finishing?

D’AMBROSIO

Maybe a year away. I’ve written a draft, which I’m rewriting, sort of from the beginning, switching over to the typewriter. I think it’ll be maybe a year.

SHEEHY

Do you have a favorite story in the new collection?

D’AMBROSIO

I’m inordinately fond of “Drummond & Son.” But that’s not necessarily rational or based on quality. I like the way it came together, I like those people, I like the feeling that I captured something true about a particular kind of Seattle I know about, a sort of average Seattle, an old-time, middle-class Seattle—where the middle class was made up of working people.

KNEZOVICH

Why is the collection titled The Dead Fish Museum?

D’AMBROSIO

I chose The Dead Fish Museum in part because it seemed to work as a container that was inclusive enough to hold all the stories. There are quite a few dead fish in the book—almost all the stories include a fish—and then, for a Catholic like myself, the fish is richly suggestive—of Christ, of faith, of miracles—though of course in the stories I don’t use the ready-made symbolism in a direct way; really, I wasn’t even conscious of it as I was writing. The line itself refers to a refrigerator and appears in the story as a concrete line of dialogue. But I was obsessed with questions of faith during this stretch of my life, which is to say I was immersed in doubt, and it seems to me that under stress it’s natural enough to resort to your oldest, best language of hope. Hence the fish—but then the question becomes: Has that old language lost its potency? Does it still resonate? Are our old hopes—of love and faith, of prosperity, of community, of the West, whatever—still intact? And to me that’s where the “museum” part of the title plays into the thing. It seems at times that we’re living in a “God is dead” world, post-everything, where our most cherished notions—love and faith, children, wisdom, you name it—are pathetic relics or sentimental longings for a gone world. Our deepest hopes are museum curiosities, no different, really, than the pot shards or primitive sandals you might find in a display case.

In Dead Fish, each story was secretly constructed and deviously worked out to deliver a moment where love could be presented without sentimentality or irony, where two people could communicate, however briefly, however futilely, in some direct and ultimate manner. To me, that moment, or the desire for it, puts people in a deep, original relationship with the world, beyond irony, beyond history; it’s our most profound desire, maybe, and I think it’s what people mean when they speak of wanting to know God. My Catholicism, and my sense of God, is existential, and more in sympathy with Camus than Sunday Mass homiletics—I always feel the need to footnote that. But then to miss that moment, or to lose sight of its possibility, brings people quickly to the violence of conclusions, a million avenues all leading to death—not biological death, the end of an organism, but the sort of death that can be inhabited in life. I seem to have strayed from the question—but in short, “The Dead Fish Museum” seems to me a story about characters moving around in a life drained of love—that is, about pornography, violence, and death.

SHEEHY

Both “Her Real Name” and “The Bone Game” occur in the Neah Bay area and contain a feeling of reaching the end of something, the end of the modern world, and also the characters are at the beginning of something brand new—

D’AMBROSIO

That’s a movement left over from my childhood—that feeling of Seattle being in a forgotten corner of the United States. The farthest point west in the lower forty-eight is in the state of Washington, a hundred miles from Seattle, and that’s somehow a symbolic arrangement. You go out there and it’s very strange, some other world divided between national parks and timber companies and Indian reservations—which keeps everything pristine and ravaged and dark and scary, all at once. All the original violence of the American project is still vibrating out there, in a big bang sort of way—you can stand at the end of things and hear the beginning. It makes sense that that pattern would show up in my stories. I did use it twice, and I have a novel in mind that also takes place out there. It figures in those stories as a place for possible change or renewal or the end of something. The next step for me, the logical conclusion of my thinking, is to set something out there to further explore whatever that repeating thing is, that compulsion to return.

SHEEHY

The endings of those stories leave the reader with this feeling of standing at the edge of something—

D’AMBROSIO

People from Seattle don’t generally go out to the coast. It’s ugly, it’s an eyesore—a lot of it is, anyway. No quaint towns. People go to the islands, instead; they go up farther along that citified corridor, heading toward Whidbey or San Juan. But I love it out there. I’ve been going for ages. You’ve got to drive way up and the roads are winding and you’ve got this huge national park in the middle. Then the coast is really inhospitable—no sunbathing. It’s not like Oregon’s coast, with big white beaches, all developed in that sort of gentle, sensible Oregon way, like Cannon Beach—good wine, tasteful knickknacks and lots of fancy private homes, all the same natural color.

You go to Washington’s coast and there’s nothing like that. Everything that’s been preserved is this weird relic of a way of life. You’ve got lumber, and there was a substantial fishery at one point, but that’s dead. Some of the legacy of ancient centuries is still vividly intact, but in this broken way. People aren’t making money in the woods, people aren’t making money from the ocean. It’s a powerful place, but the energy comes from ruin and wreckage.

KNEZOVICH

But in “Her Real Name,” the doctor delivers a line of dialogue about the recuperative powers of the West. What about the Pacific Northwest makes you feel that way?

D’AMBROSIO

I don’t know. Part of it is the longstanding American myth. You have the Frederick Jackson Turner essay on the closing of the frontier, written in like 1892 or something. He was a professor of history at the University of Wisconsin who wrote a book about the closing of the frontier. What he says is that the frontier or the West, which was always a moving thing—at one point Ohio was the northwest territory—acted as a safety valve, this place or idea the nation used to relieve pressure. But once you’ve gone all the way out, once Manifest Destiny is accomplished, what relieves that pressure? Who knows. But there’s always been this idea of a place of healing or reconciliation or a new frontier in which the past will be fixed by the future. Of course that’s never the truth. You go out there and the past gets repeated very darkly.

There’s still a lingering feeling of that story or myth. But the West is a closed deal. It’s different. Being from the West, you want to think about that legacy or what it means to be from the West, develop a sense of what that story is and play with it or against it. That’s why, in “Bone Game,” the guy from Brooklyn is disappointed that this West has died—no cactus, no horses—it just stinks of dying fish. He’s disappointed. And yet they’re playing out this weird repeated game: the Indian woman’s there, they’re massacring milk cartons—which isn’t quite the same as shooting other stuff—but they’re playing some part in a story that’s dead, like a Civil War reenactment.

SHEEHY

What you’re saying about the future of the West brings to mind the World’s Fair and the Space Needle and flying cars—

D’AMBROSIO

Where is all that stuff? We could use that now. And the West is bizarre. The West is Wal-Mart. I lived in Philipsburg, Montana, and if I wanted to do some heavy duty shopping, I’d have to drive to Wal-Mart in Butte. And maybe they do this all over the place, but the Wal-Mart in Butte lets people camp in their parking lot. You look over in the corner of the back acreage of their vast parking lot and there are people in RVs with little hibachis and folding chairs, sitting around the campfire. That’s the West.

SHEEHY

When you grow up in the East, you have this idea that everything in the West is exciting and there are cowboys and a frontier, while in reality, you’re out in the middle of nowhere for the most part and it’s pretty boring—

D’AMBROSIO

Just sitting in a parking lot, trekking off for supplies at the Wal-Mart. Getting your bologna and toothpaste and stuff. It’s hard to define. It’s hard to define those western characters. And yet at the same time western characters are so codified. They’re overly defined, they come to us in the form of caricature, crusty with ready-made meaning. We went through a long era of making westerns, so that the West—the settings, characters, and plots—got codified to the point of cliché. That hardening must have served a purpose at some stage in the development of our national character but it’s kind of sclerotic about now—not that some essentially western figures—Reagan, Bush—don’t try to keep the drama alive. That’s how western I am—my politics are squarely anti-Reagan but my nostalgia is pretty much in line with that old man. Even as a teenager I was like that—I had the dreams of an eighty-year-old cowboy.

Now the question is, are we free of those clichés or are we still trying to live them out, or what’s the next step after that? How does the story continue? Does it merely repeat? What’s the cost of a complete rejection of our original dreams? I don’t know. On the lower frequencies, all books by western writers speak to you about the difficulty of writing in the West. Stegner picks up and hammers the issue repeatedly in his collection of essays, The Sound of Mountain Water—a brilliant book, a bible for the western writer. In one of the essays, written forty years ago, he says, “One of the lacks, through all the newly swarming regions of the West, is that millions of westerners, old and new, have no sense of personal and possessed past, no sense of any continuity between the real western past which has been mythicized almost out of recognizability and a real western present that seems as cut-off and pointless as a ride on a merry-go-round that can’t be stopped.” To me, that’s the central tension in the West today, and one of the oldest American stories. It applies to today’s immigrant from India, yesterday’s Italian, and all of the West, whether urban or suburban or wilderness. Actually, it sometimes seems to me that suburbs in the West are a kind of trope to get around this tension, supplying the elbow room of western freedom without the obligations of tradition or history or the temporizing harshness of the landscape. It’s the perfect invention for a people who can’t figure themselves out. Anyway, other western books, the great ones, wrestle with two issues that aren’t quite identical—the West as a fact of national geography, but in addition, the problem of writing about the West, which is a literary matter. Willa Cather’s work came to life when she acknowledged the divided self—the western character, with eastern longings, who returns to the inhospitable world of Nebraska. It was the discovery of point-of-view that liberated her greatest writing. Jim Burden—allegorically named, of course—returns, through writing, to some essential idea of place through Ántonia. Even Gatsby gets something of a nod as a western book, I think. Nick Carraway declares himself unfit for the East, and only then captures those lyrical heights in a rhapsody about the West. And Kesey wrote modified horse operas—McMurphy is a cowboy, somewhat cartoonish, and obviously Chief Broom is an Indian—and made the difficulty of writing about the West central to his masterpiece, Sometimes a Great Notion—my favorite western novel of all time. That whole book is one big showdown.

SHEEHY

In your essay “Seattle, 1974,” you describe feeling as if you were growing up in a cultural wasteland and wanting to get out. Meanwhile all these kids growing up at the same time on the East Coast wanted to go west. When I got to Seattle in 1992, a lot of young people had been coming for the music scene. But everyone was saying, “It was much better five years ago and now it’s ruined.” Five years later, there’s the dot com boom, everybody’s getting rich, then people say, “Oh, it was much better before everyone was rich.” There’s this disenchantment no matter how you look at it.

D’AMBROSIO

That goes on everywhere. I lived in Hoboken, New Jersey, because friends from college got a 3,000-square-foot top floor loft for $600 a month. We had a freight elevator; we had old original factory skylights. It was an amazing space and we paid $200 each. Of course, we were kicked out, and that place got turned into a condo within two years. The New York area is weird, because any time Wall Street flushes with money, it sweeps through everything. Hoboken began to transform radically. People, old Italians who had been there forever—Frank Sinatra’s godfather used to come into the bar I worked at, and was like ninety- something, and he had this Rolex from Frank. It was weird. He would take it off. It was a ritual. He’d only come in like every two or three months, and every time he’d take the watch off and show the person next to him. And that Rolex would circle the bar. Everybody would touch it like they were touching a piece of the crucifix or something. Eventually, he’d put it back on. These old Italians who’d been in Hoboken forever got priced out by the influx of newcomers. It’s an American story. It’s that displacement. Sometimes it’s just brutal to the local population, whether it be Indians when white Europeans first showed up or people in the West or people in Hoboken, New Jersey. It keeps repeating, and there’s something heartless about it.

SHEEHY

Was part of your moving to Portland that it’s a little more like Seattle ten or fifteen years ago?

D’AMBROSIO

No question. One of my first thoughts when I moved there: This is like Seattle of the old days. Small. It’s got the same small size. Dumpy in ways I find comforting, nice in other ways. Plus there’s this weird ethos in Portland. People are strenuously anti-growth. There might be hope Portland will stay kind of the same for a while. I hope so. And there are a lot of young people. The cool thing about Portland right now is that they’ve done a lot of great infrastructure things. They have trains. Seattle has been talking about trains since 1967, and finally I guess they’re building one that goes to the airport. Portland has them running through the city. There are a lot of small businesses as opposed to chains. Seattle is franchised—they’ve got to have a Starbucks on every corner; it’s like a law. You go to Portland and if people try to put up a Starbucks, somebody throws a brick through the window. I’m not kidding. I’m not anti-Starbucks—they pay people well enough and give them health insurance. But at a certain point franchises are just ugly—a kind of visual blight—and the money they generate mostly goes elsewhere. There are a lot of small businesses in Portland, and I like supporting them because the owners are my neighbors.

SHEEHY

Is there a sense of community among people in the arts in Portland?

D’AMBROSIO

Very much so. And again, it was one of those things I noticed right away. Because I’m a social clodhopper, I never get in with the right crowd. But Portland is so socially efficient that even a doofus like me can meet one person, then show up at a party the next week and that person connects you with somebody else and all the little groups cross paths. It’s not just writers hanging out with writers. It’s writers hanging out with painters and rock musicians and small business owners. Something is working there.

SHEEHY

You visited a Russian orphanage a while back. What prompted you to do that?

D’AMBROSIO

A magazine asked me to go at the last minute. They must have thought: Who do we know who doesn’t have much of a life and will go on short notice? So I got the call and had to get an expedited visa. I spent a week in an orphanage north of St. Petersburg. It was five hours driving time, but the roads were so crappy it was probably only a hundred miles. That was one of the shocking things about Russia. Sometimes I look around the U.S. and think: We could spruce up the interstate a little bit, and stuff like that. But it’s nothing like Russia. Anyway, I lived in this orphanage in the middle of nowhere. I was there in April or May, and there was still a foot and a half of snow. Big chunks of ice on the river. The kids told me they saw wolves regularly in the winter. I believed them. Although maybe they were just imagining wolves. If I lived there, I would imagine wolves, too.

The children were beautiful. You go there and you want to adopt like ten. A lot of them still have parents or relatives, but they’re all screwed up with alcoholism or whatever. Their problems are too much and they can’t care for these kids, so there’s the orphanage system, which operates like a school system. Once those kids enter the orphanage, very little is going to change their fate. They’re going to be in there until they graduate high school. It’s messed up—some of them told me: Yeah, my dad got drunk and burned down the house and that’s how I ended up in the orphanage. But as bad as all that is, they’re still kids. And what do kids do? They’re little love factories. It doesn’t matter—you can beat on them, whale on them, but they come back at you with love. There’s like 117 kids with all this energy of love, but there aren’t very many adults to attach it to, so you walk in and they immediately grab on to you. It was beautiful. It was like taking drugs. I would go there again just to get that feeling.

KNEZOVICH

Did the time you spent there help you finish “The High Divide”? You mentioned earlier that you were having trouble because the story was centered around hate, and then you went to this orphanage full of love—

D’AMBROSIO

That’s interesting. It was right around that time I found the completion for that story, and also for “Screenwriter.” In fact, I got the ending for “Screenwriter” in Russia. A kid told me this riddle or joke, and as soon as the kid said it, I thought: I’m using that. I knew exactly where it was going in the story. But when I was writing the essay on the orphanage, I felt like it would be cheating the kid—his name was Ruslan—not to put the joke in the essay, too, so I used it in both.

SHEEHY

The Stranger took an interesting approach to reviewing your latest book—having different notable writers review different stories. Did you read the review?

D’AMBROSIO

I knew they were doing that, and I thought it was great. The Seattle Times did a review that totally pissed me off, because I could tell the guy didn’t read the book. Maybe one story. He totally cheated—it should have embarrassed him. I was embarrassed on his behalf! And that’s typically what goes on with collections. People don’t read the entire book. You’re getting nothing for writing a review, so if you don’t have a well of integrity to draw on, you can just be like: Well, I’m only getting fifty bucks for this, so how can I make it fifty bucks an hour? I can spend half the hour reading one story and the other half whipping out some lame-ass review. Then I’m almost being paid like a plumber.

But I was really flattered that Christopher Frizzelle from The Stranger would do all that, because what he had to do was get eight copies of the book from the publisher and then have them Federal Expressed to the eight individuals who were going to do the reviewing, then make sure they got their written pieces in. It was cool. It was the first time I ever saw that. And a lot of people, from all over the place, regardless of what they thought of the book, talked to me about that review. In New York, they were just knocked out, the publishing people thought: Wow, that’s so cool. It was nice to get special treatment in your hometown, too.

KNEZOVICH

Did The Stranger review your book of essays also?

D’AMBROSIO

Yes, Christopher Frizzelle did that, and that’s kind of when we became friends. I thought it was a really good review. But I semi-knew him before that, when “The High Divide” came out; he wrote a little column saying he loved the story but he thought one line in there stunk. He totally took me to task for it. I thought that was cool. I didn’t know him at all, and I wrote to him and said: It’s interesting you hated that line. Here’s what I was thinking. What were you thinking? We had this back and forth about it for awhile. I admired that he would read that closely and say: This one line is just ridiculous. In that line there’s an apple with a bite out of it and the narrator describes the apple like an old laugh, that it had turned brown like an old laugh. And The New Yorker wanted to cut the line too. As a writer you get so fond of these little things, and you try to keep them at all costs. So The New Yorker very kindly let me have my way. And then The Stranger just bashed me. [Laughs.] I learned a lesson there, since really, I was holding on to it out of sheer, irrational fondness, regardless of whether it actually belonged in the story.

SHEEHY

Why did you choose the Camus quote, “The desperate man has no native land,” as the epigraph for The Dead Fish Museum?

D’AMBROSIO

I had a list of a few epigraphs, and I was going to use all of them— there were three. I finally whittled it down to that one. A lot of people in the collection seemed to be living in weird places—an orphanage, drifting in cars, staying in motels. There is this low-grade desperation to everybody’s situation, and they view their country as if they’re foreigners or refugees or on the run, even in their native lands. So the logical extension was that they had no native land.

SHEEHY

In a lot of the stories, it feels like the characters are not only in motion, but whenever they stop anywhere, they feel totally out of place—

D’AMBROSIO

It’s that tradeoff. Staying in motion can offer you relief from that condition, or the illusion of it, but you can’t stay in motion all the time. You lose so much by quitting and going on the run or by hiding, you lose memory and community, you lose hope just because living that way exhausts your supply of it, and then, in your weakness, the desire for home or permanence or connectedness kicks in. And then you descend into that—you pursue that desire—and you’ve got nothing but trouble. You feel your oddness, your destructive sorrow. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just that domestic life isn’t much of an arena for a lot of men. There isn’t the elbow room we want, or think we want, and then our freedom just brings loneliness.

KNEZOVICH

A lot of your stories involve typewriters instead of computers, or there’s a Victrola in one story instead of a CD player. You’ve mentioned, in another interview, how you miss the days of letter writing. Do you shy away from technology?

D’AMBROSIO

I don’t. I’m suitably geeky, though lately I’ve been thinking my life is pathetic because I own so many power adapters. I can’t leave the house without carrying a charger or two. I don’t know what it is about old stuff. I drive a 1973 Ford Bronco, just had a new engine and transmission put in it, which was a little bit of a crisis because this truck is like thirty-three years old. It’s got a little rust developing and there’s always stuff wrong with it, but I love it. A lot of it might be informed by growing up in Seattle, where things—all through the 1970s—were from the 1950s. I like old stuff, or the look of old stuff, the lingering of old stuff. I don’t know what it means though.

In “Drummond & Son,” I thought that in this very difficult situation, on this very difficult day, it was almost this guy’s love of old objects that was going to tell him what to do. They were going to provide a continuity of love that would hold true and hold him to the right course of action, even though he was confused. I saw that coming from the old typewriters.

Then part of it could just be autobiographical information. We always had the oldest, shittiest cars growing up. Always broken down. We were a family of nine. I think about that sometimes: There were seven kids and we had—clear into the 1970s—this old 1959 Dodge station wagon that was my mother’s car, and she’d be carpooling and it would just die. Dead on the side of the road. It happened all the time. We practically had a mechanic on retainer. Or—and I wrote about this once—we’d go on these car camping trips; the transmission would get hot and the carpet would start smoking and my sister’s job was to have a pan of water to pour on it. As a child, the perception was that these problems were metaphysical, a kind of fate. We were stuck with the crappiness as a given in our existence. Sometimes when I think of my past, I realize I don’t even need an imagination. The facts are fantastic enough. For a long time, we left the tailgate of that car open and that’s where our dog lived. A couple times, the police came to our door and said, “You know your car’s open and there’s a dog in it?” We’d say, “Yeah, that’s where our dog lives.” That’s the way we lived, and it made an indelible impression on my sense of the world. And now I have an allegiance to those old crappy ways.

SHEEHY

You also mentioned that you don’t like e-mail and that you keep all your letters, that people don’t write letters anymore—

D’AMBROSIO

They don’t. My little niece, who’s twelve now, has this retro thing where she likes writing letters. I get letters from her, but most people don’t write anymore, and sending e-mails is not the same. I usually keep letters in boxes, but when I’m reading a book and I get a letter, I end up using it for a bookmark. Now I open books on my shelves, and there’ll be letters stuffed in there, from years ago, and it’s great.

KNEZOVICH

Today at the panel, you said that entering an MFA program was the reason you started writing short stories instead of novels. What did you write when you were younger?

D’AMBROSIO

I was thirty when I landed in the MFA program and I hadn’t been writing much before that. Before getting an MFA, I had tried to get a PhD, and I could write academic stuff very well and I had also done some journalism, but I’d never actually worked with a character or written dialogue. And like a lot of people, my first stories had no dialogue. I didn’t want to do dialogue; it was just going to be all glorious prose. But a lot of the first stories I wrote were like fifty pages long and ridiculous. Nothing I would recognize as a short story today.

KNEZOVICH

What was the focus of your doctoral study?

D’AMBROSIO

I was at the University of Chicago, among the brainiacs, studying American lit, but I very quickly discovered that, in grad school, literature is treated as a kind of business, with little franchises that people open up in the hope of peddling opinions to students at some other school somewhere down the line. I didn’t like it. I remember a class on Pound—we were reading The Cantos—and I went to the library—the great U of C library!—and couldn’t find a single book of secondary scholarship on Pound. They’d all been checked out. Somebody had cornered the market. That depressed the hell out of me. At the time, I liked to read because I liked to think about life, and novels and stories and poems seemed to offer the richest way to investigate living—but in grad school it’s all about the text, and life itself is a ridiculous concern, a distant rumor. I wanted a greater connection between reading and life, a deeper urgency. I needed to reconcile my impulse to read with the facts of my life and the world around me.

I fixed washing machines for four years, to pay for college, and I expected my reading to give me insight into that world—and I expected that world to teach me something about writing sentences. I thought a lot of those academics were the worst kind of dorks—people who’d read a lot but lived in cloisters that sucked something out of their souls. I know that’s a bit clichéd but I was wary. Also, I liked to write, and I discovered in grad school that good prose—which takes time, a lot of care and consideration—was a liability. Too much busywork to give a shit about the sound of a sentence. Plus, there’s no real audience for good writing in grad school. Your profs don’t care—they want to know if your work is original, meaning, I don’t know, that it’s sufficiently pointless to blaze new territory. It always amazes me that these people who dedicate their lives to the greatest things ever written can hardly write in a readable fashion. You’d think something would rub off, a bit of style, or maybe just an ethical obligation to language itself. I don’t know. A lot of academics have minds of great quantity—they know a lot—but very little quality. I remember thinking that even as an under- grad, where you’re kind of cowed by the awesome range of learning of the professors—and yet part of me was always thinking: Man, you’ve put in a lot of time, but your mind isn’t very elegant.

KNEZOVICH

Was that the catalyst for your switch in degree programs?

D’AMBROSIO

I dropped out of the PhD program, then kind of floated around. I guess I was one of those people: I didn’t come from a creative background—and a lot of people don’t, I later found out—but I always envied people who got encouragement in that way. Or encouragement of any kind. When I dropped out of the PhD program, the first fictional thing I wrote was a screenplay based on the life of Jack London, which clocked in at 210 pages. I subsequently found out your average screenplay is about 105—a page a minute. It was ridiculous, full of lines and lines of prose. The next writing I did was while I worked construction in Hoboken, and one of the guys I knew owned the newspaper in town. The paper had a format like The Village Voice where you could write at length, so I asked if I could write for them while I was running construction jobs. And I loved doing that. I think I was getting paid twenty-five dollars a piece, but I’d work on them like crazy. Slowly, through that, I came to the idea that I really wanted to write. I started reading in a dedicated way—not an academic way of reading—but to see how sentences worked and how people tried to get emotion into prose. A whole different level of reading. And from there, I started writing fiction and applied to the University of Iowa.

KNEZOVICH

Did the piece you used in your application end up in The Point?

D’AMBROSIO

A drastically modified version. I fought like the devil to get it in there, just because it was part of my application—and in fact, my first attempt at fiction. It’s one of those stories I was fond of and should not have been. It’s about a guy walking in snow with baked potatoes in his pockets. Of course it was much longer originally—the potato saga went on and on, kind of epic in scope—but for the book I cut it down. It’s kind of a ludicrous story, but I really liked it—I still do—and when it came time to assemble the collection, I fought. It’s mostly in there for that reason.

SHEEHY

I read that you used to hitchhike and train hop. That’s kind of gone the way of letter writing, don’t you think?

D’AMBROSIO

Not if I can bring it back. My novel has a good bit of train hopping. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, because the first time I was ever in Missoula on my own, as a semi-grown teenager, I rode a freight train here and jumped off. I learned that you don’t have to jump off, that they’ll actually stop, that it’s really not a good idea to jump from a moving train. I blew out the knees of my jeans and barked up my legs and was hobbling around for days after that. Trains have such a big scale it’s hard to gauge how fast they’re going and, even when they’re not going that fast, you jump off and the ground is stationary and all that ballast—the gravel they use—is chunky and rough.

SHEEHY

Nobody hops trains anymore—

D’AMBROSIO

Part of the reason is probably because trains and freight hauling have changed a lot. They don’t use cabooses for the most part, and boxcars are vanishing as the primary transport because everything is shipped in containers now. They come into ports like Seattle, and cranes put the containers on trains—which is too bad, because boxcars are one of the best places to ride. At the time I was doing it—this would have been the early 1980s—the U.S. automotive industry was going down the tube. And the first flush of Japanese imports—particularly small pick- ups—were flowing in so all these Toyotas would be on triple-deckers, and riding in the bed of a pickup was nice because the suspension gave you a bit of shock absorption. You get up on that third level and you get a view of everything and it’s pretty cool. I did a lot of freight trains. It’s safer than hitchhiking.

KNEZOVICH

Have you been doing research on trains while you work on your novel?

D’AMBROSIO

Not that much. Mostly because I lived the research. But some, just to familiarize myself with the inside terminology to make sure I’m using the right words. And that kind of research is not really research, but, you know, looking at pictures and reading accounts of people—either engineers or brakemen or people who worked on the trains or in the yards. More daydreaming than researching.

Online Exclusive: A Conversation with Ann Pancake

Ann Pancake
Willow Springs Logo

Found in Willow Springs 84 and 71

April 20, 2007

Nicholas Arnold and Michael Beccam

A CONVERSATION WITH ANN PANCAKE

Ann Pancake

Photo Credit: garev.uga.edu

 

A NATIVE OF WEST VIRGINIA, Ann Pancake is the author of a short story collection, Given Ground, winner of the 2000 Bakeless Fiction Prize, and last year's novel, Strange As This Weather Has Been, which, according to Rick Bass, "crackles with this century's great white background noise of loss, greed and dishonesty." Pinckney Bene­ directly refers to Pancake as a writer "who sees with a lover's generous heart, with a prophet's steel-hard gaze." Pancake's rhythmic prose creates what she calls "background music" to her stories. Rooted in her Appalachian heritage, her fiction weaves precise language with vivid attention to place and complexity of character.

Ann Pancake graduated summa cum laude from West Virginia University, obtained her MA in English from the University of North Carolina, and earned a PhD in English from the University of Wash­ington. She has taught in Japan, American Samoa, and Thailand, and her numerous publishing credits include the Virginia Quarterly Review, Shenandoah, Glimmer Train, Antietam Review, Quarterly West and New Stories From the South. She's been awarded a Tennessee Williams Scholar­ ship in Fiction, a Thomas Wolfe Fiction Prize, a National Endowment for the Arts Creative Writers' Fellowship Grant, the 2003 Whiting Award, the Glasgow Prize, and fellowships from the states of West Virginia, Pennsylvania, and Washington.

Ms. Pancake currently lives in Seattle and teaches creative writing at Pacific Lutheran University's low-residency MFA program. We met with her at Bluefish Restaurant in Spokane.

 

MICHAEL BACCAM

Would you say Strange As This Weather Has Been promotes an agenda?

ANN PANCAKE

It does promote an agenda, but I worked as hard as I possibly could to make it art, too. When I was writing my dissertation, I did research on political novels, especially those written in the 1930s, and I learned that many of them failed as art because their politics were their driving force, which made them polemical. When I went into this novel, I was really invested in the art. I knew for the novel to be successful politically, it would first have to be successful aesthetically. And it was difficult. The hardest thing was to get information about mining and mountaintop removal into the story organically. It was easier to capture the kids' lives, their fear and desire and guilt and shame. But some of the particular facts about mountaintop removal that are in the later Lace chapters—I still don't think those chapters are completely successful; I didn't incorporate the information organically. But, yeah, I guess it does have an agenda, although I think most books do.

BACCAM

Was it mostly the politics of the story that drove you?

PANCAKE

No, it was love of the land and the people's passion. Love of the land and my outrage over the way the people in my region are being treated. In Strange As This Weather Has Been, I needed to convey a sense of legacy to show what is being lost and why it's worth saving and what future generations are going to have when the land is destroyed. I guess what also drove me was my own grief over the loss of culture in Appalachia, the loss of the language, and the loss of civility and things like that. There are things West Virginians still have that have been lost to an extent in the rest of American culture—warmth and generosity and community spirit and respect and work ethic—and in Appalachia, these qualities are being preserved. I'm sure they're being preserved in other parts of the country, too, but in general, I believe they're in decline. So I think it's an expression of grief over the loss of some of these things.

I was raised on a farm, the seventh generation to have that land. My family had been there since the 1770s, and we were indoctrinated not to ever sell it. I think a lot of people in West Virginia are indoctrinated with the idea of holding onto land. Partly because a lot of it was taken in the past by crooks as part of this huge land grab. In the late 19th and early 20th century, coal companies would buy mineral rights to farmers' land and tell them they could go ahead and farm the land, that they'd just be working underneath them to get the coal, so the farmers would sell. Then strip-mining started later in the 20th century, and because the deed said the companies could get the coal by "any means possible," the companies would strip the land and the landowners were devastated. Natural resource companies swindled all kinds of people out of land in Appalachia. I think something like 75 percent or more of the land in West Virginia is now owned by private companies and that's partly why the industry has so much control in southern West Virginia, where they own an even higher percentage of the property. Anyway, that's one reason so many West Virginians value land and legacy—because they've heard again and again about the family farm that was lost.

NICHOLAS ARNOLD

Your work often mixes notions of God and land and nature so much that characters struggle to recognize the differences between all of these. Is this struggle representative of Appalachia?

PANCAKE

I don't think for most people in Appalachia there's any confusion about the three. But I think there is a sense that the land is—I don't want to say sacred—but for us land isn't just land, it's also family and culture and tradition. So there's a deep, passionate investment in the land. Most people keep their God separate, though. They're good Christians, and I was raised the same way, although my dad is both a minister and somewhat pantheistic, so that influenced me. Some of the mixture of God, land, and nature in Strange As This Weather Has Been just arises from my own experience and feelings. It's not fair to extrapolate from that to the beliefs of other Appalachians, and I feel guilty when people use my work to make generalizations about all of Appalachia. However, in southern West Virginia there's now a Christian movement to save the land, an anti-mountaintop removal movement. They won't say that the land is God, but they'll say that the land is God's body, and we have to take care of it that way. More churches are forming alliances with environmentalists, and in this way the movement is fusing conservative and progressive politics. I think this is extremely important, and I think it's the only way we can get mountaintop removal stopped.

ARNOLD

How much of what you know about mining and its environmental impact came from your experience growing up in Appalachia?

PANCAKE

I lived in a coal mining part of West Virginia until I was eight years old, so I was introduced to strip-mining as a little kid. My dad was a part of this introduction. He used to take us to this beautiful mountain called Buck Garden, and then one time when we were up there he told us that we couldn't go again because they were going to strip it. He also once preached a sermon against strip-mining on the radio when I was about six. I was more interested in him being on the radio than in strip­ mining, but I remember it well because before I heard him on the radio, I hadn't realized we had an accent. I heard him and I thought, Oh my gosh, we talk like that? So that stuck with me from a pretty young age. Then I moved to Hampshire County, where I lived until I was eighteen, and there's no coal there at all. Coal mining wasn't an issue for me again until I got involved in Appalachian studies in graduate school. Then in 2000, my sister Catherine decided to make a documentary about mountaintop removal and asked me to help her, and we went down to southern West Virginia and started interviewing and researching.

BACCAM

Do you associate the voice-driven qualities of your work with the oral storytelling tradition you grew up in?

PANCAKE

To some extent, yeah—oral storytelling in a really general sense. Especially with the older generation, there's still a lot of story telling, a lot of flood stories and wreck stories and hunting stories and basic gossip stories. But I think the voice of my writing derives less from the storytelling tradition than from the cadence and rhythm of the language in Appalachia, which I'm afraid is dying out. Younger kids are speaking it less. When I was a kid, we only got one TV channel—there weren't any satellite dishes—and I didn't have much exposure to the outside world. But now they've got all this media exposure, and the language is being rinsed out, homogenized. Anyway, when I'm writing, the voice I hear is not usually a voice telling a specific story. It's more the rhythm and cadence that I hear. And the poetics and the lyricism of the voice. The story comes later.

I think the language in Appalachia is more elastic than Standard English. Maybe partly because people there aren't as formally educated as people tend to be outside, the grammar isn't as strict and there's more flexibility—to both make up words but also to change and play with syntax. There's a great freedom in joining words together, compound­ing words, so when I make up words in my novel like "speak-taste" and "leaf-wait," it's not that I've heard those exact words used by somebody back home, but I grew up hearing people make up their own words, along with more commonly used compounds like "gray-headed lady," or "pitiful-looking," or "big-bellied," words like that. Also nouns and adjec­tives are sometimes used as verbs, like "I'm doctoring with that Indian man over in Winchester," or "They mounded up the dirt real high," and in my work that pattern shows up in sentences like "They rumored that dam to bust every spring" in Strange As This Weather Has Been and "his long john shirt whitening a space in the dark" in Given Ground. Syntax, too, is looser in Appalachian English than it is in Standard English, so you can play with the structure of the sentence in ways that I think are more poetic and fit rhythm and cadence the way that I hear them.

ARNOLD

Repetition of words seems like a part of that voice—

PANCAKE

It's probably a poetic technique. If I was writing poems I would be able to use repetition and it would appear more conventional. For me, especially in the short stories, the primacy was how does it sound, does it sound right? And I'd read over and over again to get it to throb right or thrum right, and I think the repetition helps with that. I want the story to feel like it has background music, and from that perspective, the repetition is kind of like a refrain in a song or a bass beat.

ARNOLD

You mentioned community and gossip earlier. How does a sense of community inform your work?

PANCAKE

I think community makes for good stories. I live in Seattle now and there's little unplanned community, so there aren't a lot of really good stories. Nobody knows what anybody else is doing, you know? If you have a tight community, everybody knows what everybody else is doing, and there are your stories. I'll hear stuff still. People call from Romney to tell me what so-and-so did. In a small community, you know what's going on all the time, people know everybody else's business. This is good if you have a problem, and it's good for stories. Of course, it's bad when you do something you don't want others to know about.

BACCAM

You've said you rewrite your stories completely instead of working mostly off of previous drafts. Is that something you do with all of your fiction?

PANCAKE

Well, I rewrite the stories completely, but as I do that, I am work­ing off previous drafts. It's very inefficient. Usually the first drafts are just fragments, things that are most compelling from the voice I hear in my head. When I finish, I have to go back and do a lot of work to craft transitions, to pull everything together, to make the piece cohere. I rewrite the whole drafts longhand for the first four to eight drafts. I even did it with the novel, which is one reason it took me forever to finish it. I think I rewrite this way because it lets me sink back into the song of the piece, into the sound of the song, and it also helps keep the momentum going and holds the voice consistent. By the time I get to eight drafts, I'll usually go back and tinker with different parts. But when I'm rewriting, I'm not changing everything—I'm changing a sentence here and a sentence there, a word here and a word there. So it's not always a total overhaul after the first three drafts.

BACCAM

Does your work help redefine how people look at Appalachia?

PANCAKE

I hope so. At least I hope it redefines the popular stereotypical understanding of Appalachia. Of course, the Appalachian writers who have influenced me most, the best of Appalachian writers, have already worked to redefine how people look at us. I'm thinking here of James Still, Harriet Arnow, Denise Giardina, Breece Pancake, Jayne Anne Phillips. These writers don't just reproduce the dominant paradigm of Appalachia and Appalachian people, and I resist that paradigm, too, but when you don't provide the familiar paradigm, it's harder to get published. Many people outside Appalachia, including editors and publishers, want to publish a conventional representation of the place because they feel it will sell better. And it probably does, but that doesn't make it good art or good politics.

I didn't know Breece [Pancake], but he's a distant cousin. He died when I was about sixteen, and I didn't know him, but he absolutely influenced me. He and Jayne Anne Phillips. When I was a kid, I didn't know any West Virginia writers at all. Maybe Pearl Buck, and she didn't really write about West Virginia. In college I realized, here's Jayne Anne Phillips and Breece—see, we have a big inferiority complex in West Virginia because we're always being told how bad our schools are and how bad we are—and then here's Jayne Anne Phillips and Breece, who are about ten years older than me, and they went all the way through West Virginia public schools. They didn't go to Harvard or Princeton, they went to WVU and Marshall and they could write really well. This made me believe I could write well, too. The fact that Breece succeeded in publishing was an inspiration for me, but his language and sensibil­ity affected me even more. Probably his sensibility has influenced me the most.

ARNOLD

Can you elaborate on the role of ghosts in your work?

PANCAKE

They come up a lot, don't they? They're not something I put in consciously. Especially in the short stories, I didn't work very consciously on anything. In retrospect, though, I think the ghosts represent loss. I've witnessed tragedies in my family, and the state of West Virginia has had more than its share of tragedy, and all that leads to an intimacy with loss. Then there is the loss of the culture, which I've already mentioned. There is the devastation of mountaintop removal, the cultural genocide there, but in the part of the state where my family's farm is, where I lived from eight to eighteen, there has been a huge influx of people moving in from outside, mostly from Washington and Baltimore. The economy has shifted from agriculture to second homes and retirement homes, and while the people moving in bring some good things with them, the indigenous culture is being lost. So I think the ghosts represent loss, change and death of culture, death of land and family members and tradition. But again, I don't really think about it in the writing.

I did hear a lot of ghost stories growing up, from babysitters, even from church. In the novel, some of the ghosts represent people who were forced to leave the land, and people from Appalachia never really leave, so there's a part of them that's left behind when they go out.

ARNOLD

Do you think the sense of anger toward the government is justified in your characters and the people of West Virginia?

PANCAKE

Oh my God, yes. West Virginia has been exploited since its establish­ment in 1863 when industrialists made it a state without even putting it up for a referendum—some local people didn't even know it was a state until later. The coal counties in particular have been horribly exploited. The coal companies have always been in bed with the government, and Appalachia has always been treated as a sacrifice zone by the rest of the nation. Appalachia has provided the natural resources for industrializa­tion, the soldiers for wars, the workers for factories, and the nation has given almost nothing back.

BACCAM

You use many different narrators in Strange As This Weather Has Been. Did you know that you were going to structure the novel this way?

PANCAKE

The novel started as a short story. I started writing because my sister was making Black Diamonds, a documentary about mountaintop removal. I went down to southern West Virginia with her—at the time I was living in Pennsylvania—and we interviewed a lot of people, and it completely blew me away, both the devastation and also local people's reaction to it, the way they were dealing with it. One afternoon we interviewed a family that had three little boys—actually their cousins were there too, so five little kids and I ended up in the back of a pickup truck. They lived at the foot of a valley fill like the one I described in the novel and they kept telling me how they wanted to get up on the top of the valley fill so they could see what was behind it. They were scared it was a coal slurry impoundment, one of the big wastewater lakes that they have all over central Appalachia now. The road to the valley fill was behind a locked gate, and they told me how they got a blowtorch, and "Daddy did this" and "Daddy did that," and Daddy busted through the gate and then they got through. Once we got up to the foot of the valley fill, of course we couldn't see what was behind it, and one of the kids said to me, ''I'm gonna take my four-wheeler up there," but I knew he could never do that, and another one, a ten-year-old, kept saying, "This is dangerous. This is dangerous." All these little kids crawling around on big rocks off the mine with blue and green and purple oily water around chem. I'll never forget that day.

A few weeks later, I started writing what I thought was a short story based on that experience, from the perspective of a fourteen-year­ old boy. I'd never considered myself a novelist—I'm voice-driven and language-driven, and I'm not good at plot. I started writing the story from the fourteen-year-old boy, who eventually morphed into Bant, a fifteen-year-old girl, and after I wrote that story, Dane started talking, the fearful one, and then Corey came into the picture. None of the kids in the novel are based directly on the kids I rode with in the pickup that day, but that day moved me deeply and triggered the stories. I started with those three characters and the stories kept getting bigger. I realized the subject of mountaintop removal couldn't be contained in a short story.

But, to be honest, because I was a short story writer who didn't know how to write a novel, writing the novel from different perspectives came easier to me. It felt more like writing a series of short stories or novel­s. At the same time, I wanted a lot of different perspectives because the experience of living with mountaintop removal is too huge to be cold effectively by one person. I wanted Dane's fear, I wanted Corey's love of machinery, I wanted Bant's desperation to find out, and also her love/hate relationship with the miner boy, and also her love of the land—the younger kids don't have that love of the land; they were in North Carolina when they were little, and by the time they got back to West Virginia, so much had been destroyed. So I wrote them. I wrote Avery because I needed the perspective of a local person who also knew what it was to live outside and who knew the history of the region. And I wanted to include the Buffalo Creek disaster because so many people you talk to in southern West Virginia will say, "This is gonna be another Buffalo Creek." They're terrified that the slurry impoundments are going to break and cause another disaster, another Buffalo Creek.

Mogey came three years after I started the novel, after I interviewed a guy in Raleigh County. Part of the reason I included Mogey is because I didn't want the males in the novel—I didn't want it to be like "Women love nature and men are against it." Jimmy Make is based on a lot of guys I grew up with, and I love Jimmy Make, but he's not a good representative of some of the men in Appalachia who are very powerfully fighting mountaintop removal.

In the original full draft of the novel, I just had one Lace chapter—I wanted Lace to give some regional context and to give the background of this family. I had an agent who tried to sell the novel, and at that point I only had one Lace chapter, and the agent couldn't sell it. After a frustrating year of revising for the agent and for an editor who hadn't given me a contract yet, I gave the manuscript to a poet friend, and he said, "This is a great novel, but you've got to expand Lace, you've got to tell her whole story." Then I spent a year doing that. I took the thirty page Lace chapter I wrote originally and stretched it into the eighty or hundred pages Lace has now. I pulled the chapter out, broke it up, drastically expanded it, and then threaded it back through the novel.

BACCAM

So you had different strands you cut together in revision?

PANCAKE

I wrote the kids' stories first, and I wrote them more or less in a linear fashion, sometimes writing one character's chapters consecutively, sometimes taking a break and working on another character instead, if I got bored. The kids' stories were more or less interwoven from the get-go. But originally, I wanted each adult to have just one chapter—at that point, Lace had one chapter, Jimmy Make had one, Avery had his, and Mogey had his—and then I had to figure out the best placement of their stories within the kids' stories. And then when I expanded Lace, which was the last part I wrote, I had to thread it through the whole thing that was already present. That caused organization problems.

Many people have asked me why Jimmy Make doesn't have a chapter. In the first full draft, Jimmy Make had the final chapter in the book, an epilogue. However, several readers thought the epilogue was anticlimactic, thought ending with the Bant chapter was best, so I dropped the Jimmy Make chapter.

ARNOLD

Lace and Bant are the only characters who speak in both first-person and past tense. Why did you develop that kind of voice for them?

PANCAKE

I write tense and point of view intuitively at first, then I'll go back and change them if it seems the piece will be stronger in another tense or point of view. But I think I needed Lace and Bant in first person to capture their language and the idiosyncrasies of their perspectives. Corey and Tommy aren't as self-conscious as Bant and Lace, so to have written their perspectives in first person would've been too limiting. Lace has to be in past tense because she's telling everything that happened from the time she was eleven up to the present. With present tense you gain immediacy, bur you sacrifice the ability to give a whole lot of context. And I wanted Bant to have a sense of history, too; even though she's fifteen, she's got this pretty long history with the grandmother that's important to the story. Corey and Dane also tend to experience things very immediately. There's not a lot of reflection; they're just living their lives. So that's one reason I wanted them in present.

BACCAM

In some of those perspectives, specifically Mogey's and Avery's, you enter their consciousness rather late in the novel. Was that a risk?

PANCAKE

Yeah. But I needed to tell Mrs. Taylor and Dane's story before I could tell Avery's story. Also, I had to build up everybody's fear about the present circumstances before I brought in Avery with the regional history. Otherwise, I don't think a non-Appalachian reader would care as much. Avery's chapter is sort of a watershed. Ir's kind of a hinge. In my imagination, the novel builds to that chapter, and then after that everything happens a bit more quickly and finally resolves. I tried Mogey in a couple of different places; I switched him around a lot. Ultimately, I decided he needed to be in the middle, too, after I'd firmly established the kids' stories and a sense of the destruction of the place. Mogey and his spiritual connection to the land follow naturally as a counterbalance to Banc and Corey's first full-on look at the mining site.

BACCAM

You make a point to portray the men in Strange As This Weather Has Been as "babified," compared to the stronger female characters. Do you think that's a general Appalachian issue?

PANCAKE

Mogey and Avery aren't babified. That's one reason I put them in the novel. I didn't want the reader to assume that Appalachian men are in general "babified" just because Lace perceives Jimmy Make that way. However, through Jimmy Make and some other characters, I wanted to show how shifts in economics in Appalachia cause a kind of emas­culation in some of the men. Now a lot of wives are the breadwinners because they do the white-collar jobs and the service industry jobs, whereas the men, who traditionally worked in mining and logging and manufacturing and farming, are now more temporarily and seasonally employed. So men have lost some power, control, status, because they've lost work, and I wanted to illustrate this through Jimmy Make. He lost his job and he wants to work, but he won't take a minimum wage job because that would hurt his dignity, and Lace won't let them move back to North Carolina.

ARNOLD

Your characters in general, especially in Given Ground, seem to share a need to leave the land, even if they feel there's nowhere else to go. Do you think this constant struggle is needed for them to fully develop?

PANCAKE

The struggle to leave the land that arises in them is probably more from my subconscious than anywhere else. The characters both love their places and hate them, need to leave and need to stay; there's a kind of cultural dissonance or biculturalism that they either are trying to negotiate or have failed to negotiate. I didn't do that deliberately for character development. I think it's more a testament to my own struggle, first growing up in West Virginia and wanting desperately to leave, but also being scared about leaving. Then there was the actual leaving. I didn't realize that Appalachia had its own culture until I left it. I just thought we were like the rest of America. Yeah, I knew our state was poorer than other places and I knew that people always made fun of us, but until I lived in Japan and then in other parts of the U.S., I didn't recognize the distinct culture we had in West Virginia. During the years I wrote the stories in Given Ground, I lived in Albuquerque and American Samoa and Thailand and Chapel Hill and Seattle and Pennsylvania. I was all over the place. And the moving in and out, in and out of Appalachian culture, and the learning how to negotiate all those other cultures, including dominant middle-class white American culture, was really hard for me. I think that's where the struggle in the characters comes from. But I also believe my struggle is one a lot of Appalachian out-migrants share.

BACCAM

Do you feel the need to return?

PANCAKE

I went back for a year to work on the novel and lived in Charleston. I love being back there; I hope to move back to West Virginia eventually. I have a lot of family and friends there, and I do go back to visit twice a year or so. But it's difficult to find good-paying work in West Virginia. To be honest, the colleges there, they have really heavy teaching loads, and I can't do that and write, even if they'd hire me. Then there are the politics. West Virginia has a lot of progressive subcultures, but overall, it's a conservative state, and the way industries treat the people and land is really outrageous and depressing. But I miss West Virginia. I feel guilty about not being back there and doing more to help.

BACCAM

Is it difficult to write from the point of view of characters in hope­less situations?

PANCAKE

There were times when I was writing Strange As This Weather Has Been when I had to stop because it was too painful, but usually that was because there was something else going on in my life that rubbed up against my writing. But I don't see, can't see, the characters in the novel as completely without hope. It is true that their situations are desperate and painful, but generally writing from such points of view makes me feel alive and passionate. To write about such characters fires me because they make me feel like my writing matters, that it isn't superficial or trivial. In addition to that, almost all of these characters are based on a part of me, so maybe that's one reason why it's not as difficult to write from their points of view. And in terms of narrative momentum, loss and desperation are what drive my plots much of the time.

ARNOLD

How does alienation figure into your work?

PANCAKE

Part of it is feeling like an outsider because of West Virginia being considered lower by the rest of the country. And you have to keep in mind that I was middle-class—I wasn't poor—but I still had this idea of inferiority because I was a West Virginian. When I first went to grad school out of state, I always had the feeling that I was the dumb­est person in the room because of where I came from. I've always felt alienated, even when I was a little kid. I read all the time, I was really nerdy, you know, and bookish, so I felt like an outsider even within the community. And then I leave and I'm an outsider everywhere else for a different reason. [Laughs.] So I think that's part of my fascination with alienation, but there's also the fact that alienated characters carry a lot of narrative tension—they contain conflict, generate conflict, find themselves in charged situations-and it's interesting to see what those characters will do in response to their alienation. Hopefully interesting for the reader, yes, but also for me—for me, I want to know what Jolo's going to do, where he'll take me next.

Issue 70: A Conversation with Tim O’Brien

Tim O’Brien
Issue 70

Found in Willow Springs 70

April 16, 2011

MICHAEL BELL, SAM EDMONDS, ERICKA TAYLOR, AND TANYA DEBUFF WALLETTE

A CONVERSATION WITH TIM O'BRIEN

Tim O’Brien

Photo courtesy of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

Tim O’Brien’s characters occupy a world in which narrative has the power to consume, to unite, and to heal. Stories are repeated and memories revisited, until accuracy sometimes gives way to isolation, fear, and despair, until the only way forward is to keep telling them. “The best of these stories are memory as prophecy,” writes Richard Eder, in the Los Angeles Times. “They tell us not where we were, but where we are, and perhaps where we will be.”

Tim O’Brien was born and raised in small-town Minnesota. Upon graduating from Macalester College in St. Paul in 1968, he was drafted to fight in Vietnam, serving from 1969-70. When he returned, he became a graduate student at Harvard University, but dropped out to pursue an internship at the Washington Post, where he began work on his memoir, If I Die in a Combat Zone. Since then, he has written seven novels, including Going After Cacciato, which won the 1979 National Book Award, and his novel in stories, The Things They Carried, which was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize, and won the Chicago Tribune Heartland Prize and the Prix du Meilleur Livre Étranger, a French literary prize for best foreign work of fiction. He has received literary achievement awards from the American Academy of Arts and Letters, the Guggenheim Foundation, and the National Endowment for the Arts. He currently lives in central Texas and teaches at Texas State University–San Marcos.

We met with Mr. O’Brien at the Brooklyn Deli in Spokane, where we discussed absolutism and ambiguity, the slippery, evasive qualities of truth, crippling idealism, and how “we all do little tricks to try to erase our flaws, even from ourselves. We’ll fine tune, and we’ll try as much as we can to forget the bad things we’ve done and wish we hadn’t, and magnify those things we’re proud of. I think our country does it, too, and other countries as well where we erase what we did.... Nobody thinks about what their country did—how we once had slaves and once exterminated a whole race of people, the Indians. People don’t think about that stuff. It’s erased.”

 

SAM EDMONDS

You’ve said that one of your main themes is exploring the human heart under stress. In what ways has this theme changed from If I Die in a Combat Zone to July, July?

TIM O’BRIEN

Not at all. The stories change, but I’m always interested in exploring a set of circumstances or a character in trouble, how the trouble started and how it will be resolved, if at all. It’s like conversations you overhear on a train: some you’re interested in and want to explore, while others bore you. So nothing really has changed. I do think good writing is often about the human heart under stress. And I think bad writing has an agenda. It’s polemical oftentimes—makes a point, delivers a message, offers counsel or advice about something. For me, good writing is tentative. I don’t want to be an absolutist, but a good book is not one in which I detect an agenda, because art takes both sides of a thing; it doesn’t just present one point of view, it contains others—this character’s, that character’s. And even those points of view are often undermined or evolve throughout a book.

EDMONDS

In your interview with Big Think, you talk about news and news writing. Is that an example of what you consider bad writing?

O’BRIEN

There’s an absolutism to that kind of writing that has disturbed me since I was a little boy. I see ambiguity everywhere, including inside myself. It could be a serial killer we’re reading about, Ted Bundy or someone, and I’ll be interested not just in how evil he is and how he could have done what he did, but in his side of the story; what does he have to say about it?

I think that’s why I became a novelist. If I knew what I thought about everything, I’d write nonfiction: Here’s what I think. But I don’t know what I think about everything. On virtually any subject, I’m— I guess you could call it wishy-washy. That would be a pejorative way of saying it. Or you could say open-minded, but I don’t think of myself as that. I seek all sides of everything to a fault.

It explains a lot about why, in my books about Vietnam, I saw all sides in the war. I wanted to do what was right for myself and my country. I wanted to be faithful to my conscience, but I also loved my country and didn’t want to leave it. I felt paralyzed by these competing and ambiguous thoughts. And that’s true about love and fathers and mothers and everything in the world.

ERICKA TAYLOR

In Tomcat in Love and In the Lake of the Woods, your protagonists are aware of their desire to be loved. How does that need for love play out in your work?

O’BRIEN

Love separates us from dogs and mice—we know what love is. We crave it and want it, and sometimes it’s a really good, positive thing. But we can do evil things in the name of love too, like kill people. Like go to war: “I love my country, and I’m going to go kill people because I love it so much.” And that’s a macro, kind of gross example, but it’s true. “I love God,” and the Crusades come and you get millions of dead people. On a daily level, what we do for love—to get it and give it—includes tiny things: paying a check or smiling at somebody in an elevator so they’ll like us. You know, holding a door for a person. I want people to like me, and I think we all do, in small petty ways and in big political ways. More than we realize, our behaviors come out of a desire to be loved. To go into a war is a pretty good example of wanting my country to love me, as well as my mom and dad and hometown, even though I thought it was a bad thing to do. I wanted that love more than I wanted to love myself in doing the right thing.

MICHAEL BELL

You’ve written about going to war for that love, or going to Canada—

O’BRIEN

That’s an example of seeing both sides. Part of me is the person who went to Canada, who did the courageous and difficult thing of saying, “No,” which was, for me, really hard for the reason I just mentioned. I wanted to be loved. So, I didn’t say, “No.” I said, “Okay.” I like to write about characters who did have the courage to say, “No,” and who live with the consequences of it.

EDMONDS

You often use repetition in your work, for example, in Northern Lights, when Grace is calling Perry “Poor Boy,” telling him to “Lie down, lie down there. It feels better.” How important is repetition to your prose?

O’BRIEN

There are times when repetition has the effect of a song. If the chorus weren’t there, it wouldn’t really be a song, because it wouldn’t be unified. Repetition has that unifying function. It also functions to remind the reader of the “aboutness” of what they’re reading. It brings you back to a kind of center.

The tough thing as a writer is to know when repetition’s called for and when it’s going to get in the way. There are times when I’ll say, “I shouldn’t be doing it now,” and other times I feel like I have to. I have no formula or recipe for it; there’s a feel in phrasing each repetition, or there’s not. But I do think, in beautiful writing, there’s some kind of repetition that saves it from the prosaic or dull or monotonous—even if it’s just a phrase or a few syllables. It makes a work feel whole and unified, and without it, the work might feel kind of meandering.

BELL

Certain stories are repeated in your work, as well.

O’BRIEN

You’re right. The killing of the baby buffalo, for example, has appeared in three of my books. What I see in writing is what I see in life—recurrence. Life is full of repetition, and throughout my life, the killing of that baby buffalo has recurred—not in actuality—but in my dreams or when I’m sitting alone thinking about the war. I’ll see that animal and I’ll see it again thirty years later or ten minutes later. But I’ll always see it through slightly different perspectives. Sometimes it’ll be the perspective of anger—I felt angry the day it happened—and anger will bring it out of me. Other times it’s a sense of guilt—why should that poor animal have suffered for something it didn’t do? So the repetition is not always exact. That’s how memories keep coming back—the same way as with any writer: Faulkner, Hemingway, Fitzgerald. All drew repetitively on things they had written about before, but through different angles of vision.

TANYA DEBUFF WALLETTE

You’ve said that truth is a function of statements we make about the world. Can you talk more about that?

O’BRIEN

How can there be truth without declarations of truth? It’s a construct of language; the very word “true” is a word. T-R-U-E. And can there be T-R-U-E without the word? Little bits of truth go by, so there goes a hunk, and there goes another chunk, and there goes a piece. The declarations we make about the world are what we mean about things being true or not. So I say that this table is made of wood, and that’s a declaration. Ericka might look under it and see a piece of plastic attached to it. So it’s made partly of wood, but there’s plastic under it, so it’s not made of wood. The truth has been amended.

You could say it’s true when you say, “I love you.” It’s a declaration and it comes out of your mouth. When we say “true,” I guess it has to do with intent—does it feel real to the speaker? But two weeks later, the person says, “I love you,” and it may not be true, because time has passed and feelings change, people change. So the same declaration— exactly the same words—a month later, ten years later, may not be true anymore, even though they’re the same words.

I think language is what we’re looking at when we’re deciding whether something is true or not. There are more complicated examples, such as my Methodist minister back in Worthington saying to me, “Thou shalt not kill,” and developing a whole sermon on it. Two months later, I get to Vietnam and there’s this guy saying, “You better kill or we’ll court-martial your ass.” Can they both be true? Does it depend on the speaker if a thing is true or not? Who uttered it? There were certainly no qualifications made by that minister. He didn’t say, “Thou shalt not kill, unless your country tells you to, or unless it’s a Vietcong soldier.”

And so—when you’re a twenty-one-year-old kid, sent from that church to that war, and you’re told to kill people for causes you don’t believe in, that you think are plainly stupid and ridiculous—where’s truth? And what’s true about yourself? Am I the nice guy I thought I was? You wonder where truth resides, even within yourself. Then you come home and spend the next four decades looking back on it, angry at yourself and feeling guilty. Truth is just really difficult and evasive and fluid.

It reminds me of what we were talking about earlier, concerning absolutism. There’s a current in the world nowadays—it’s always been there, but now it seems more pronounced—a kind of absolute I’m- right-you’re-wrong. Turn on CNN and Fox. It’s right in front of you: “I’m right, you’re wrong. Here’s the truth of things.” There’s no humility. There’s no “Maybe.” There’s no “I think.” It’s just, “Here’s the truth.”

And that kills people: Stop the communists, those people are trying to invade South Vietnam. There’s no room for debate or to look at history—it’s just, “That’s the truth,” a simple-minded, zealous, fanatical, complacent, pious, self-righteousness that eats at somebody who’s been in war and watched people die as a result.

BELL

You said in a recent interview that art is cutting through rhetoric and convention to open a trapdoor in your soul. What art has done that for you?

O’BRIEN

There are so many beautiful stories that have done it for me. It’s a feeling of moving away from obligation as I turn the pages. Here’s a classic, and I’m going to find out why, I think with a little skepticism. And then I begin turning pages and this trapdoor feeling comes and I tumble through it, entranced. To name the books or the stories, you’d have to do an encyclopedia of great writing, because the trapdoors are all different and the fall is further and different in its feeling—a fall of sadness or lightness or happiness, of the miraculous—all kinds of different ways of falling.

TAYLOR

When you talk about falling through the trapdoor, do you have that sense of not wanting to leave?

O’BRIEN

Very much so. You can see the pages dwindling and you know the dream is going to end. When you’re actually dreaming, you don’t have that feeling; you don’t count the pages in your dream, so it feels as if it could go on to eternity. But with a book, when you’re lying in bed and you see the dwindling pages, there’s a sense of growing sadness—much like getting old. You can feel the end approaching. It carries a sense of sadness with it. But it carries a sense of resolution too, so it’s okay.

BELL

Is that something you’re conscious of when you’re writing the fictional dream?

O’BRIEN

I’m conscious of the story coming to a conclusion and that the characters are going to join not just other characters of mine and those I’ve read, but the literal dead and Shakespeare and my dad. There’s a sadness to that, that makes us human. I think it’s probably a sign of dominance, that we’re aware of our mortality. And I feel it in the writing even of short stories, that this is coming to a sad end, even if it’s a cheerful or joyful end.

EDMONDS

In the final footnote at the end of each “Evidence” chapter of In the Lake of the Woods, we hear what sounds like an essayist’s voice. Can you discuss those footnotes?

O’BRIEN

It’s an organizing device, for one thing, where the story of John Wade is being told by someone trying to discover what happened to him and whether he did it or not. This narrator, as the story goes on, is frustrated the way most readers are, and not getting very far, not getting much closer to what really happened.

I wanted his sense of frustration to mirror the reader’s; it was a way of diffusing pure frustration—to say that not just the reader is frustrated by not getting an answer to the mystery, but take it beyond that, to a narrator saying, “Well, at least I can accommodate not knowing by realizing that that’s life for you. We don’t know where we go when we die, and that’s life. Do we go to heaven with halos and harps? We don’t know.” People pretend they know, and this narrator says that religions are constructed to make up answers for what we really don’t know. We’re fooling ourselves, the way John Wade fools himself by building artificial constructs of what we call faith. But, you know, a non-believer is going to say, “I have faith that the table’s going to rise in three seconds, watch.” It may not rise, but for a true believer, that’s not going to do anything to their faith. You can’t debate with faith.

So the device is meant to organize this frustration about not knowing, but also to raise it to a level beyond the story, to the level of the world we live in. The most important things for most of us are unknowable. Did that person love me? You can’t know for a fact; you can’t get into somebody’s head and read their thoughts. All you can go on is evidence, how the person talked and behaved, and even then we’re fooled a lot. Even things about ourselves are unknowable. I wanted the book to go beyond the surface mystery of a woman vanishing and then a husband vanishing, and to reduce the gap of inevitable frustration. That’s part of being alive, and we’re all going to end up where John and Kathy Wade are. We’re all going to vanish from our lives. And where we’re going, we don’t know. It may be a good place, a bad place, or maybe back to nothingness. We don’t know.

TAYLOR

How did the three part structure of The Nuclear Age—Fission, Fusion, and Critical Mass—come about?

O’BRIEN

With that book, I was into actually counting lines and doing a kind of mathematical structure. I wanted almost what you do with poetry—and that was an error on my part. Not that the idea was bad, but it forced me to play a game I didn’t want to play. The aliveness of the novel is killed in part by the too-severe rules I put on myself.

It would have been a better book had I limited the story to the wife, the daughter, and the obsessed guy in his backyard digging a hole. I was too ambitious in my architecture, and the book suffered. It came out of a desire to make rules for myself and be faithful to them. Sometimes that works. I did the same thing with The Things They Carried, where I set up rules: I’m going to write a novel that reads like a memoir, and I’m going to obey all the conventions of memoir. You know, my own name, and dedicating the book to the characters in the book. I wanted to make it feel like you’re reading something that really happened, but then periodically say, “This is a novel, a work of fiction.” Those rules worked. They opened things where the other rules closed things. You never know which way it’s going to go, until you’re ten years done with it and sort of feel the result.

I do like to experiment with setting parameters that will structure story. I’m going to try these parameters and make them new and all mine—as new as I can make them, and then try to be faithful to them. Really good things can come out of rigid parameters, not always failures.

EDMONDS

Twenty years passed between If I Die in a Combat Zone and The Things They Carried. How would you differentiate those two books in terms of structure and theme?

O’BRIEN

If I Die was written as a pretty straightforward war memoir, but not entirely straightforward. I scrambled chronologies. The book opens in the war and circles back to growing up and then goes forward. Most memoirs are written as a straightforward chronology, and I wasn’t interested in that. I didn’t think it would engage the reader. The book is about a character’s experiences in Vietnam, and to get there 150 pages into the book seems to me to kind of cheat. Right away I was moving slightly away from the conventions of memoir. Nonetheless, If I Die is a fairly accurate representation of what I went through in Vietnam; the events occurred more or less as they’re described.

But you can’t put everything in. Should this memory go in or that one? All memoirs go through this selecting, and in the end, memoir is not utterly and absolutely faithful to what occurred. Memory fails. You can remember the feel of a conversation: “Oh, I love you,” Jean said. “Oh, I love you too,” Jack said. You can remember the “love you” stuff, but your memory is going to fail at what was said next, or what was said first. How you got to “I love you” is erased from your memory.

In writing If I Die, I learned distrust of truth. Pick up a newspaper. You’re reading what you take as absolute truth: “Today Richard Nixon blah blah blah.” You read it, but what you’re forgetting is that the reporter had to throw away all these other truths. His editor tells him, “Put in these column inches.” Everything else is thrown away. You’re getting part of the truth, but is that the truth if you leave stuff out? Where I come from, that’s called a half-truth. And you compound that because of all kinds of other variables.

In a work of history about the Battle of Hastings, say—you know, a history book—you’re writing about the battle, but you can’t put in every thought of every soldier as the battle unfolds. You don’t know every thought of every soldier. So, when you call a thing “true,” how true is the truth? I mean, is part of the truth true? I’m not saying that historians or newspaper writers lie. What I’m saying is, to bill something as the truth is suspect, and I learned that in If I Die. I felt I was reasonably faithful to what had occurred, but I knew I hadn’t held a mirror up to what had actually happened.

It was liberating to think, Well, if you could do that in a memoir, why not write a work of fiction, in which, through fictional strategies, you don’t have to worry about being faithful to the truth? There are different kind of truths you’re after, a feel, an emotional truth, a spiritual and psychological truth not tethered to the world we live in. You can leave that behind and search for truths that remain true despite the real world. People do bad things for love, good things for it. That’s the kind of truth that’s untethered to the world. So, they’re different in that fundamental aspect, these two books.

BELL

Could you extend that comparison to Cacciato as well?

O’BRIEN

Cacciato was born out of a real thing, a desire to run from war. I wanted to get the fuck out, and I fantasized about it during AIT—at Fort Lewis, where Canada’s ninety miles away. I’d be walking around the fort doing all this preparation stuff—you know, target practice and all the crap we did—knowing I could be on a bus and in Canada maybe two hours later. I dreamt about it—I don’t mean during sleep, I mean as I’m doing this stuff. I’d hold it out as a thing: God, if this gets bad enough, I can do it. As I wrote about it in If I Die, I kind of half planned it, thinking, Maybe I’ll leave.

Cacciato was born out of something similar. All through Vietnam, you’re carrying a weapon and war’s all around you and people die and you’re getting wounded. There are these mountains, and what’s to stop you from just walking into them? There’s no authority or MPs in the bush. You’ve got this weapon, so you can get food if you need it by holding people up. What’s keeping you in the war has nothing to do with the stuff that did in the States: authority and borders. What’s keeping you is social pressure. I want my friends to love me. I don’t want to be seen as a deserter. It’s all interior stuff that’s keeping you in this horror, when every impulse is to get out.

I’m not the first person to have written about this. Hemingway wrote about it in A Farewell to Arms and Heller in Catch-22 and Homer in The Illiad. The desire to flee the murder and homicide and mayhem is fundamental. You’d have to be insane to not want to do that. So the story was born out of real stuff, but I wanted to write something that extended this daydream I’d had in AIT, through the story of Cacciato; the soldier has an extended daydream. What if we went after Cacciato, what would have happened next? Would we have made it to Paris? And what would have happened in Paris? Could I have lived with myself walking away from a war?

It was kind of a mirror to what I was thinking during those nightmarish days at Fort Lewis, when I couldn’t quite get myself to imagine crossing the border. I couldn’t quite get that far. But this character in the book, Paul Berlin, could see himself, or at least imagine himself, doing it. It’s a made-up story, but it’s born out of a real thing.

TAYLOR

Were you trying to play with truth in Tomcat in Love, with Chippering’s obsession with words and what they mean?

O’BRIEN

I wasn’t playing with truth exactly, but with the endless hairsplitting and self-justifications of our own bad behaviors. It was written during the Clinton era, so I was kind of modeling it on that Monica Lewinsky stuff, you know—“It wasn’t sex.” You draw these fine lines about whether blowjobs are sex or not and it’s just laughable. It was kind of the world around me, a guy who has no filter over what proper behavior is. It was written about the relentless remorselessness of his sexism. He just couldn’t and wouldn’t stop. He’d go through one demeaning, horrendous happenstance and march into the next one, the way, through history, we’ve all—mankind—done it, you know?

War is bad, but we don’t stop making it. Same with his behavior toward women. He will not learn from the most embarrassing and demeaning things that happen to him. In a way it was playing with truth, because this guy doesn’t recognize truth, even if it’s right in front of him. Other books are largely tragic, in the sense that they’re somber and pretty grim. This book, because of the Clinton thing, made me want to write a comedy and laugh at what is really not very laughable stuff.

BELL

When you were talking about the Battle of Hastings and history, I was reminded of July, July and how we have all these different characters from a class. Were you trying to create a history of the class of ’69?

O’BRIEN

I was trying to create a different take on the same stuff—different people responding to the same central phenomena. There’s a war in progress, and so many people are full of idealism. How do we respond to the same things? And the characters are different aspects of my own personality. Sometimes I’d be Billy going to Winnipeg, and other times I’d be David Todd going to Vietnam and living with the crippling, debilitating, corrosive effects afterward, the way he did. Other times, I’d be Amy, living in the world of a marriage gone sour.

The idealism is crippled for all of these characters in different ways— what they aspire to wasn’t always shattered, but it was diminished for everybody in the book. It’s meant to be, in part, a story of a generation. I was part of that romanticism and naiveté and the high ideals. This is a generation to stop war, hit the streets, and not just change war, but change male-female relations and make them more equal and fonder. Those expectations were ground away by what happened to these people, the way my own idealism was ground away by Vietnam. I became cynical, skeptical of political leadership and my fellow man. It’s not only the political leadership, but also the old lady in Dubuque who’s voting for another war without any thought, but doesn’t want her son in it: “Anybody else’s kid, but not mine,” the way Bush’s two daughters weren’t sent off to war and so on. To see that hypocrisy repeated again and again makes you cynical.

EDMONDS

What’s your take on the situation in Libya?

O’BRIEN

There’s this ambivalence that hits me. A part of me thinks, God, Gadhafi is a tyrant and he’s evil; he tortures people and he should be tossed out on his ear. A lot of people in his own country think so. Then another part of me thinks, Man, we’ve tried that before—doing other people’s work for them, and it doesn’t always turn out the way we want. As in, say, Vietnam.

The noblest of ideals can turn sour and backfire. Nobody appointed the United States policeman of the world and arbiter of conflicts: We’re going to step in and get rid of this tyrant and that tyrant. We could be at war with three quarters of the world right now, for the same reasons. Overthrowing despots. You could be at war everywhere. Is that what we want? Do people have a right to determine their own destinies, or are we supposed to step in?

So I’m ambivalent. Part of me thinks, I don’t like that guy. And part of me thinks, Man, that could be really dangerous. In the end, I don’t trust principle. I don’t trust generalizations. I mean, I have to ask myself basic questions. For example, would I want my kids to go die over there to get rid of that guy? Do I feel that strongly about it? I try to make it personal. Would I want to lose my life for that? Is it worth it? And sometimes the answer is, Yeah, it probably would be. Say, a World War II situation. Other times, I’m not so sure. Say, Vietnam.

WALLETTE

I wonder if you could talk about how your stories arise or develop.

O’BRIEN

It varies by book and by short story. Sometimes I start with a scrap of language that interests me, and I pursue it. There’s a story in The Things They Carried called “How to Tell a True War Story” and the first line is, “This is true.” Period. Three words. And I wrote those words without knowledge of what was true, what the word “this” referred to, and what the word “true” meant. True in what way? Then I wrote the next two sentences: “I had a buddy in Vietnam. His name was Bob Kiley, but everyone called him Rat.” Period. Right away I knew that the first sentence and next two sentences were in contradiction, because I didn’t have a buddy in Vietnam by the name of Bob Kiley, and there was no Rat. That contradiction intrigued me, because, I guess, it was part of the overall structure of the book—playing with what’s true and challenging that word in every way I could.

But then it was an investigation. The sentences that followed were a way of trying—through a story told in bits and pieces, a collage—to get at what I meant in the first sentence, with “This is true.” What does it mean when you say a thing is “true,” and how do the meanings of the word “true” change through story?

Other stories are born in different ways. An image will come into my head—Cacciato was born that way, those mountains I mentioned. It came from a memory of looking at the mountains and saying to a guy, “God, we could just walk into those mountains, and who’s going to stop us? We can get out of here.” I remember the guy laughing and saying, “You’re out of your mind,” you know, and that was the end of it. But the image of looking at those mountains and saying that was the genesis of a novel.

Some of them begin from overheard conversations. One came out of a letter received in the mail from a woman that made me want to write a story about that letter. They start in all kinds of different ways. One of the things about talking about writing, period, is that it’s so reductive. You pull out a thread and talk about that theme or this, and you feel like you haven’t done service to the whole web of it all: language, character, plot, all that stuff.

EDMONDS

Northern Lights is told from the close perspective of Perry, who is not in the war. What was the dichotomy like in inhabiting Perry, while developing Harvey?

O’BRIEN

We started out by talking about how part of me is the guy that stayed home and didn’t want to go, and didn’t go, who wanted a peaceful life and wanted nothing to do with killing anybody and was slightly in awe of and felt estranged from this other personality that went to the war. To this day, I look skeptically at that other part of my personality who went to war, and I don’t feel like that’s the person you’re looking at here.

TAYLOR

Is that what you were exploring in Lake of the Woods, with Wade’s attempt to sort of magically remove his participation in the massacre?

O’BRIEN

I think we all do little tricks to try to erase our flaws, even from ourselves. We’ll fine tune, and we’ll try as much as we can to forget the bad things we’ve done and wish we hadn’t, and magnify those things we’re proud of. I think our country does it, too, and other countries as well, where we erase what we did. We think of America, the great and the good and the beautiful, and we could talk for an eternity about the Constitution and all that. But you could also talk about slavery and American Indians, Jim Crow laws, Hollywood blacklists. Our country, like other countries, erases, through forgetfulness, the reality of what was and probably still is. When John Wade erases his name from the roles after what happened at the My Lai massacre, he’s doing pretty much what everybody in this country is doing as they eat their lunch. They’ve erased My Lai. Nobody thinks about what their country did—how we once had slaves and once exterminated a whole race of people, the Indians. People don’t think about that stuff. It’s erased.

Certain people really erase it. The Fourth of July types in their speeches, for example: “America the great and the honorable and sacrificial,” and most of them are fellow soldiers in Vietnam who’ve erased it all. It’s all nostalgia and, “Boy, we sacrificed ourselves,” and they walk around in their fatigues that don’t fit anymore over their potbellies. They’ve erased how much they hated it and what a sewer of nastiness it all was. And not just the stuff you’d expect—the killing and the daily firefights—just the daily nastiness of it all: beating up on people and racism and knocking kids around and burning down people’s houses and pissing in their wells and all the nastiness that’s part of even a righteous war, much less one that’s utterly without rectitude.

I find it frustrating to meet veterans. I’ll give a reading or a talk and they’ll come up to me and say, “Thank you for your service,” and my heart just goes to my guts. Oh man, they didn’t hear what I said or they’d know I don’t want to be thanked for it. That would be like telling Ted Bundy, “Thank you for your service.” I feel like I did something bad, and they’re saying, “Thank you.” They didn’t hear what I was talking about. You know you’re not the person they should be saying that to. Say it to somebody who believes in it and wants to hear it, but not to this guy.

So you feel that it’s all futile in a way. I’ll think, What the fuck am I doing, writing these books and going to colleges? It feels like it’s all been a waste when you hear somebody say that to you. It’s as though I’ve been inadequate or they’re deaf—probably a mixture of the two. You go home feeling like, Oh man, I’m not doing this again for a long time, because you feel like you can’t do anything. It feels like after all of these years of trying to write as truly and gracefully and beautifully as I can, I’ve gotten nowhere. And I’m not the only person who’s felt that way. That’s what Vonnegut meant in Slaughterhouse-Five, that line about how you might as well write an anti-glacier book as an anti-war book, wars being as easy to stop as glaciers. I met Mailer late in his life and he had the same sort of thing to say, that he didn’t get anywhere. He smiled at me and said, “And you didn’t either.”

EDMONDS

How’s writing changed for you since you had your sons, Timmy and Tad?

O’BRIEN

I’m writing about being an older dad with two little boys, but the fundamentals are the same. As in Vietnam, where I felt this proximity to death—you’re aware of your mortality when you’re in a war, and the same when you’re old and become a parent. What’s going to become of these boys? Thirty years from now, I’m either going to be really old or dead. Life delivers stuff to you—a war or kids—that makes you viscerally aware of what we’re all aware of intellectually—that we’re going to die. We know that, but we erase it. We don’t want to look at it, and we don’t. But certain things put it in your face. I’m trying to write a book now that takes account of my own mortality and the youth of those kids, the realities of it, but that then tries to do what I did with the books in Vietnam, to salvage something from the inevitable and the ugly, the little stories and the works of art that I hope will be carried not just by my boys when I’m gone, but in other hearts as well. The object, I guess, is to leave behind, both for my children and for other readers, something that we all aspire to, something that’s beautiful in one way or another, a story that does something to our hearts that wouldn’t have been done otherwise.

Issue 72: A Conversation with Steve Almond

Steve Almond
Willow Springs 72

Found in Willow Springs 72

April 12, 2012

MICHAEL BELL, KATRINA STUBSON, ERICKA TAYLOR

A CONVERSATION WITH STEVE ALMOND

Steve Almond

Photo Credit: Sharona Jacobs Photography

The voice in a Steve Almond story or essay or blog post is unmistakable, shaped by a tone typically anchored in dry wit, and a sharp, hungry intelligence that seems capable of taking us anywhere. The world, as Almond observes it, is at once hilarious and pathetic, sad and intensely beautiful. And it’s his willingness to engage the world that demands our attention. We follow him as he navigates his or his characters’ movement through anger and passion, sex and song, confusion and clarity and political rage, sometimes as a call to action or a commentary on our culture, sometimes as a portrait of the individual in crisis or struggling with the risks and dangers of being alive, and often from a depth of obsession—about music or politics or candy or sex or whatever else engages his curiosity.

“What people are really reading for is some quality of obsession,” Almond says. “They have this instinctual sense that the person who’s writing can’t stop talking about this, is super into it—scarily into it. Because everybody has what they’re obsessed with, but you’re sort of taught not to get into it because it seems crazy and makes you weird, and you should be able to get past that and stop collecting Cabbage Patch Kids or whatever your obsession is… But we are all, inside, obsessed.”

Steve Almond is the author of ten books of fiction and nonfiction, three of which he published himself. In 2004 his second book, Candyfreak, was a New York Times bestseller and won the American Library Association Alex Award. In 2005, it was named the Booksense Adult Nonfiction Book of The Year. His Story, “Donkey Greedy, Donkey Gets Punched” from his latest collection, God Bless America, was selected for Best American Short Stories 2010. He is a regular contributor to the New York Time’s Riff section and writes regularly for the literary website, The Rumpus. Two of his stories have been awarded the Pushcart Prize.

We met with Mr. Almond at the Brooklyn Deli in Spokane, where we discussed small publishers and big publishers, politics in fiction and nonfiction, obsession and more obsession, what makes a good editor, and how, “in the most emotional moments of a story, writers are trying to sing.”

KATRINA STUBSON

You’ve published books with different houses, and you’ve recently put out chapbooks yourself. What has your experience been like working with different publishers, large and small?

STEVE ALMOND

When you write something accomplished enough that somebody will buy it, that’s an important and amazing accomplishment. But in the euphoria of that—what I tended to overlook, anyway—is this unnatural arrangement, the artist in partnership with the corporation. It’s strange and unsettling for the weird, little freaky things that I have to say—whether in fiction or nonfiction or letters from people who hate me—to be turned into a commodity. What I want is just to reach people emotionally. I don’t want to feel that there’s a price tag on that, though I do charge for those DIY books I make, because they cost money to print and I’ve got a designer I want to pay and I also want to get a little bit for the energy and time I put into them.

I think it’s fair for artists to get paid. And I will say to people now—though I wouldn’t say it earlier in my career—I will not work for free. If you’re getting some money out of it, I’d like some money too. Doesn’t have to be a ton, but if you’re getting dough out of it—if it’s a nonprofit thing, a charity thing, okay. I’m thinking about this agent who sent me a note saying, “Would you be willing to contribute to this anthology?” And I was like, “Sure, just tell me who’s getting paid what and we can decide what seems fair for me.” And he just kept ducking the question. Turned out he was getting a fifty-thousand dollar advance. I was eventually like, “Yeah, I’m not cool with that. If you’re getting money, then all your contributors should be getting some money too.” I’m not naïve enough to be saying, “Oh, we’re just artists, everything should be free and open.” No. You work hard, you should get paid. We should have enough esteem for people who make art to acknowledge it’s worth paying for, worth supporting them in their endeavor. But working with a big company—I knew that they liked my art, but they were mainly trying to figure out a way to make money. They saw Candyfreak and thought, Oh, with our platform and marketing, maybe we can get this guy to write a bestseller. I understand that most editors are interested in good books. But most editors aren’t the ones who acquire books.

There’s a whole marketing team and committee and they have to decide if this thing’s going to make money or not. That’s a calculus that can start to infect your process if you think about it too much. You think, Well, maybe I should do this or that, and then you’re not really following your own preoccupations and obsessions. You’re worrying about what the market wants, what the marketing people want in a particular book.

In Candyfreak, the publisher begged me to take out a line at the beginning of the book that had the word “dick” in it: “You give a teenage boy a candy bar with a ruler on the back of it, he will measure his dick.” She was like, “Can’t we please take that out so we can broaden the audience of this book.” I understood what she was saying. That was a corporation speaking directly to the artist, saying that even though that’s the right word, and even though you want to write a book with a profane edge to it, we could really broaden our audience here. This could be a young adult book that could be marketed in a whole new way, be happily and safely given to kids, and so forth. I’m not blaming this woman for saying it—it’s just the voice of the corporation—but I had to say, “No. Sorry you’re pissed off at me.”

As far as those chapbooks go, I think if you’ve spent long enough making decisions at the keyboard, and if you feel like you have a book or books that you’re ready to move out into the world, books that don’t seem to need an editor—I mean, I had my friends edit those little books—then why not? The technology exists, the means of production for literary art has been democratized to the point that all of us can make a book tomorrow if we want to. Why bother to get a corporation involved when the project is a smaller, more idiosyncratic book? Why not put it out in a smaller, more organic, personal way? To the extent that your patience and talent allows, you can choose your publishing experience now.

I’m happy to have books published with big publishers. I’m happy to have anybody help me out with this stuff. I don’t like schlepping books around and having to do all that stuff. It’s sort of low-level humiliating and kind of a drag. I’d rather have somebody else do it all for me and I could just be the artist, with my little artist wings saying, Yes, I’ll sign your book. Now let me go off and write some more. But that’s not really how my career works. The culture doesn’t have that kind of passion for the work I do. But as long as the means of production exists and I have these little weird projects I want to do, why not try to do them in a way that feels more natural? It’s a smaller thing. I like the feeling of making a book with another artist, putting exactly what I want into it, sometimes in consultation with readers early in the process. There’s no marketing team, no publisher, no editor to mess with you about that—it’s liberating. And even though I charge money for the books, they feel more like an artifact that commemorates a particular night, a reading or some other interaction, rather than a commodity you could get anywhere, not that there’s anything wrong with buying books in stores. But I don’t think a lot of people walk into a bookstore and say, “What do you have by Steve Almond?” Nobody does. Or very few people. My mom does. I realized at a certain point that people find my stuff because I do a reading or give a class, and they think they might like more. You sort of have to recognize where you’re at, and for me, these DIY books make a lot of sense.

I’m delighted God Bless America came out with a small press. I’m glad I didn’t try to put that book out myself. It really only works economically when they’re little books. And Ben George at Lookout Books was a phenomenal editor, and helped make all the stories in God Bless America way better than they were before, even if they’d been published in the Pushcart or Best American. That’s the thing that matters—finding a great editor. Stephen Elliott says there’s no point in putting out twenty thousand copies of a mediocre book. You only have enough time in life to put out so many books, and you invest all this energy, so you’ve got to find the editor who’s going to help you make it the best book possible.

STUBSON

What makes a good editor?

ALMOND

A good editor pays attention. They get what you’re trying to do, they see the places where you’re falling short, and they can explain the problems in precise, concrete terms. Ben George would go through these stories and say, “You have this character shrugging here and I just don’t think it’s doing any work.” A good editor targets what’s inessential in your work, every moment you’ve raced through when you should have slowed down, every place where the narrative isn’t really grounded in the physical world and you’ve missed an opportunity. It’s a revelation to get that kind of editing, and it has everything to do with the quality of attention they’re paying to your work. It can be oppressive when it’s somebody like Ben, who’s so compulsive about it, though it’s also an incredible gift to have somebody who understands your intention so clearly that he can zero in on places where nobody else—great magazine editors, editors of anthologies—has said anything. He zips right in and says, “You don’t need this line. That word is a repetition. You need to show me the airport right now because I cannot see it.”

That hasn’t always happened for me. My editor at Algonquin was great, and my editors at Random House—I had two—did the best they could. But I think they were under certain constraints, and they weren’t line editors. They were essentially trying to figure out how to get a return for Random House on an investment they’d made. Their job wasn’t to make every essay shine and every line perfect and every word essential. I don’t think that makes them bad editors, in terms of how their jobs were defined, but it didn’t help me make the books better.

That’s not as true of Rock N Roll Will Save Your Life. My editor on that book was sharp about saying, “You cannot write ten thousand words about Ike Reilly. Nobody’s interested. You’re going to make the book worse and less accessible to the reader.” That’s a lot of what a good editor does—tells you when you might be confusing the reader, boring them, or writing in a way that isn’t compelling. Not because they want to sell tons of copies, but because they’re sensitive to the places where you haven’t made the arc matter enough to the reader.

ERICKA TAYLOR

How do you distinguish between being a political writer and a moral writer?

ALMOND

I do write about politics, and I get that people want to put whatever label on that, which is fine. I’m interested in cutting beneath the version of politics that’s happening on cable TV, though, and getting to the fact that it’s really all about policies and how people behave toward one another. In American politics, the big argument happening on cable has obscured the fact that we have elected representatives who decide how kind and compassionate and generous we’re going to be as a country or if it’s a moral duty for extraordinarily wealthy or even comfortable people to help out those who have less. There are moral implications to these decisions, and they’re almost entirely obscured in our political arena.

So when I’m writing political pieces, I’m trying to remind people that real moral decisions are being made about how your kids are going to be educated, or whether people in our culture are going to have the opportunity we say America offers. I want to remind people that we have great ideals in the abstract, but we almost never live up to them. America has the best ideals of any country on earth, and yet we’re the worst at living those values and enacting them. We’ve gotten completely distracted by this circus sideshow. But as I say that, I also recognize that I’m up on a soapbox, and that people don’t want to hear that. There are tons of people shouting from the soapbox, saying, “Here’s who you should be pissed off at, here’s what you should do.” You can become a kind of mirror version of what’s happening on talk radio. So I try to write in a way that forces people to realize that I’m talking about what it means to be a human rather than how they should behave morally. I don’t always succeed. I’m not sure my writing is always moral writing. Sometimes, when it’s not quite as good, it feels political and pedantic. I’m not sure that’s worthwhile.

MICHAEL BELL

How did you handle that in “How to Love a Republican” versus God Bless America?

ALMOND

“How to Love a Republican” started as a story based around the 2000 election and its aftermath. A liberal guy falls in love with a conservative. They’re both idealistic, political people working on campaigns, and when I originally wrote that story it was like 15,000 words, and 8,000 of them were me saying, “How can we have an election that’s so unfair?” and, “Dick Cheney’s such an asshole,” and, “The Supreme Court totally sold us out,” and blah blah blah. I had to look at those 15,000 words and see that they were a polemic, not a story. What’s more interesting is this human question: Can you love somebody when you don’t respect their basic sense of fairness and morality? How much do you have to agree with someone’s values in order to conduct an enduring romantic relationship? That’s the real question. And so the political polemical stuff got cut out of the story and what remained was this question of what you do when you love somebody and respect their ambition but run into this historical moment in which you can’t agree and you can’t let it go. Many relationships reach this point. It’s not necessarily about the 2000 election; it’s about some other thing—I cannot deal with the way you treat my family, or whatever it is. That to me is a much more universal idea to pursue.

The stories in God Bless America are reflective of the next ten years, the Bush years, and also since Obama’s been president. Our culture’s become meaner, more paranoid, angrier, more self-victimized. I think a lot of that comes out of how we processed 9/11. That was not a tragedy that caused us to do any reflecting. We just went into a crazy, bullying, narcissistic, jingoistic, proto-fascist psychosis. And of course 9/11 was a terrible thing. It’s not something I am going to try to appropriate—the grief of 9/11. That’s the crazy thing that happened on TV, because it’s a good story, and it became like every other story the media puts out: meant to press our buttons, not to really make us think about our duty as citizens or why we might have been attacked or what our empire’s up to. When I think about how we reacted to that, I feel like it’s cowboys and Indians. It’s this narrative of America as a heroic country that’s actually so empty inside that we have to regenerate ourselves through violence, make up a story about those nasty Indians attacking our forts we built on their land.

The stories in God Bless America are morally distressed stories, and they’re pretty depressing, and I feel bad about that because I like to write stories that have some humor— which is how I try to cut that moralizing I do. But that’s how I felt the last ten years. I walk around my house renting my garments and tearing my hair out, driving my wife crazy, saying, “What is this country doing? When are we going to grow up? It’s got to stop.” When I’m able to deal with that most effectively is when I’m able to imagine my way into a character contending with that world, a character who’s not me, who’s not an ideologue or a demagogue, but is just a person struggling with the first day back from war, having witnessed the kind of violence and chaos that young men are witness to in these wars, and coming back and somehow trying to deal with it. And he can’t. He’s broken and he’s going to take it out on someone.

The amount of that stuff going on—you don’t hear a lot about it. We’ve developed a narrative that the veterans are noble, wounded warriors. But when he comes back, we don’t listen to what he has to say. Maybe somebody’s paid to listen, but as a culture, we just clap in the air and say, “Thank you for your service,” and put a ribbon on our car and think we’re somehow dealing with somebody who got his legs blown off or had to kill someone or had his best friend killed or was shocked and freaked out by the kind of extreme violence he was exposed to. That strikes me as a fraudulent and immoral way to contend with that. So those stories with veterans in God Bless America are my effort to acknowledge that this is what happens. Like most people, I’m a civilian; I’m just trying to imagine my way into it. Maybe I’m doing a bad job, but I’m making an effort to ask what it would really be like to be nineteen or twenty and to be in that kind of moral chaos. To be in that violent chaos. What would it do to you? Who might it turn you into?

TAYLOR

We were talking earlier today about putting characters in danger. Since you were writing Candyfreak while you were depressed, were you conscious of the same M.O., and thinking, This book is manifesting me as a protagonist in danger?

ALMOND

It’s interesting that I was in the Idaho Candy Company factory and there’s Dave Wagers showing me around, and he’s such a nice guy, and I’m trying to distract myself. But then I have to go back to my hotel room and the reportage is over. If I were a journalist, I’d say, “The factory is so wonderful,” and it’s not really about me. It’s about how wonderful their chocolate pretzels are. And that’s fine for a piece of journalism. But with Candyfreak, part of my job was to turn the camera inward and be like, Also, I’m super depressed and fucked up, and that’s part of the story, too. It’s not the only part, but it’s a part. Maybe for some people it’s an indulgent or uninteresting part. But if I’m going to write about that experience, flying around to these places. I’m not going to ignore the fact that I was in a depression and doing everything I could to try to avoid it. To me, that’s what’s interesting.

And when I talk to the guy who makes Valomilks, of course I’m picking up on the fact that he’s this sort of desperate character who, on the one hand, has this story about how we’re bringing back old time candy and isn’t that awesome and wonderful? But it’s also a pitch he’s making, which he makes to all the journalists who talk to him. And that might be interesting as far as it goes, but it’s not literary. Literary is the sudden moment when a mirror is held up and somebody goes, “Oh, my god.” It’s the reason I left journalism, because the questions weren’t interesting. Who, what, where, when, why—not, Why did this guy fuck up his life? Why did this person have an affair? Why did this person make such bad decisions? What part of him got distorted into this particular evil? Those are the interesting questions, the literary questions.

With Candyfreak, my editor said to start right when we get to the factories. And she was pretty convincing and a good editor; she’s paying attention to the text. But I was like, I need people to know that I’m the person to write this book. And maybe what I was really saying was, “Maybe the book’s partly about me.” That sounded too indulgent to say directly, but I needed people to know that I have this especially pathological relationship to candy. And if they’re going to follow me on this, I want them to know they’re going to be following the craziest person about candy they’ve ever met. That happens to be the truth. I’m not some random reporter. With Candyfreak I wasn’t going to ignore the fact that it was me as a person who was obsessed with this one particular thing. The rock and roll book was the same way. I write out of my obsession. I think that’s the engine of literature. What people are really reading for is some quality of obsession. They have this instinctual sense that the person who’s writing can’t stop talking about this, is super into it—scarily into it. Because everybody has what they’re obsessed with, but you’re sort of taught not to get into it because it seems crazy and makes you weird, and you should be able to get past that and stop collecting Cabbage Patch Kids or whatever your obsession is. But kids are obsessive by nature, and they are the most voracious readers of all. They’ll read a book over and over again. They’re naturally obsessive, and we’re only trained out of it. But we are all, inside, obsessed. It’s just polite society that says, “Stop talking about that band so much. Stop talking about that TV show or website or painting or whatever it is.” I think most great books are obsessive either in their manner of composition or their plot, sometimes both.

STUBSON

We’re all obsessive by nature, but it’s okay because someone else is expressing it?

ALMOND

Right. People find stories or essays pleasing because they realize they’re not the only person who’s crazy, who’s that ruined or stuck in some way, or that joyful about something. I feel like everywhere outside of art, in the world of marketing and the day-to-day, nobody’s really telling the truth, nobody’s really going into any dark, deep, true shit. Everybody’s faking it. But a certain kind of person actually wants to get into that other stuff. It’s more painful to live with that kind of awareness, to be honest with yourself and other people, but I’d rather spend my time on earth that way, even though I’m now going to be poverty stricken and choked by doubt and all the rest of it. I think this is why so many people are getting MFAs and trying to do creative writing, or whatever art they’re trying to do. Because they’re deprived of the capacity to feel that deeply by the culture at large and, significantly, by their families of origin.

I grew up in a family where there was a lot of deep feeling and not much of it ever got expressed. It got expressed mostly through antagonism and neglect and a kind of avoidance of what was really happening. I think that stuff gets into the ground water of most writers. I write about it in This Won’t Take But A Minute, Honey. That’s where it comes from, that unrequited desire to say, “No, I’m gonna talk about this shit.” A lot of that is reaction to the fact that you come from a family where that stuff isn’t talked about. Your parents are like, “Are you depressed?” Their take is, Wow, it really would be easier and more efficient if you would just get a business card and a healthcare plan and have a more conventional lifestyle. I’m lucky that my folks are psychoanalysts, because they’re interested in the insides of people. But a lot of the people I encounter don’t have that advantage. And it’s not because their family is trying to silence them. Parents want their kids to have a happy life, and they see the life of an artist as an intense engagement with feelings—oftentimes painful feelings—and the struggle to make ends meet and to be heard in the world, and maybe a lot of disappointment along the way.

BELL

You talk about questions you’re interested in, for example the questions journalism asks as opposed to literary nonfiction. Are those nonfiction questions the same as the ones you approach in your stories, or are those central questions different?

ALMOND

Stories allow you to construct a world that’s completely aimed at exposing those questions. With nonfiction you have to choose your topic and root around through the past to find the moments that really mattered, and then you try to unpack them. But with fiction, my sense of plot is extraordinarily primitive: Find character. What is character afraid of? What does character want? Push character to scary cave or happy cave. When you know you have a character who’s a closet gambling addict and a shrink, then you know how the rest of the story has to go. Of course a famous gambler has to walk into his office, and of course they have to wind up across the poker table at the end of the story. As soon as you know what your character desires and fears, you have some sense of what you’re pushing your character toward—or I do. That’s my conception of plot.

With nonfiction, it’s much more a process of archeology and digging through and saying this moment is important, and so is this history. You can choose where to look around, but you can’t choose to make shit up like you can in a story. You’re engineering the world for maximum emotional impact in a short story. Whether you have the courage to do that or you get lost with all the possibilities is another question. When you have no constraints on reality, you can engineer any world you want, put your character in a room having sex with his secretary and in walks his wife, and boom—you just did it, it’s a dramatically dangerous situation. You can’t do that in nonfiction. You might write about your fantasies or wishes, but you have to write about stuff that actually happened and stuff that happens in your head. You can’t make stuff up to make it more dramatic. If you do, you have to call it what it is—fiction.

TAYLOR

Your flash fiction feels particularly lyrical. Do you approach very short work in a different way?

ALMOND

A lot of those started out as poems. But I realized they weren’t poems—they were little stories, little bursts of empathy. I read flash, and I always have a pleased feeling when a writer has somehow plugged into this exalted way of communicating. I feel like they’re singing to me. In those little stories, I’m just trying to capture moments where something devastating happens. I’m trying to capture five seconds in amber—like my great-aunt being walked across an icy street by this handsome young guy who calls back, “Can I have your number?” in front of his friends—a moment of gallantry and how beautiful that is. Nothing more than that. You don’t need to know her whole life. You don’t need to know where she grew up. This is the moment that matters. That’s what those flash pieces are about.

STUBSON

In Rock and Roll Will Save Your Life you write that songs taught you a lot about story.
Would you talk a bit about expression in song versus expression on the page?

ALMOND

Music allows you to reach feelings you can’t reach by other means. The best writing does that too, although it’s a lot more inconvenient because you have to sit there and pay attention, whereas if a great song comes on, boom, you’re in it. You have an immediate set of memories and associations and an emotional reaction. Reading is harder. In a certain way it’s more fulfilling, because with a piece of writing you have to do much more work than any other art form. You’re an active participant in the construction of these images and so forth. You’re making the movie in your head; I’m just giving you the perspective.

So that’s very exciting, but the reason I listen to a lot of music, and kind of always envied musicians, is that it just gets across much more quickly and intuitively through the primal and instinctual language of melody and rhythm. There’s no comparison. And you could ask almost any writer, at least any writer you’d want to spend time with, “Would you rather be a musician and go on tour and be able to do your crazy ecstatic thing of making music, or would you like to be a writer, sitting in your fucking garret going, Ughhh I hope, I hope, I hope?” That’s not to degrade writing. I think it’s great, I love it, blah, blah, blah. But the thing I learn from listening to songs and listening to albums—these guys want you to feel something and they’re not being coy about it. They’re not writing their little obedient, minimalist short story or earnest autobiographical essay. They’re singing; they’re trying to get across to you emotionally.

I think all young writers think, I have to be taken seriously; people have to know I’m a serious artist; let there be no confusion about that. And they’re more reluctant to get into the real reasons they’re working on a particular piece—to get their characters, whether it’s fiction or nonfiction, into that real emotional trouble we talked about. With a good song, you’re in emotional trouble right from the first chord. It’s an ecstatic, immediately emotional experience.

In my writing. I want to construct a ramp to these important emotional moments, slowly drawing the reader in. But I also think that in the most emotional moments of a story, writers are trying to sing. That’s what James Joyce is doing at the end of “The Dead.” That last paragraph is like a beautiful song. That’s what Homer is doing, that’s what Shakespeare is doing, that’s what all great writers are doing—Toni Morrison, Saul Bellow, Denis Johnson, whoever. They reach these ecstatic moments, and in order to describe the complex, contradictory feelings they’re experiencing, the language has to rise up and become more lyric and sensual and compressed in order to capture that kind of exalted moment, whether it’s grief or ecstasy or some complicated mix of emotions.

Listening to songs makes me wonder why I am not writing towards those moments where you just open your throat and sing. And if I’m not, then what am I doing? Of course, you can be sentimental and screw it up and I hate that kind of writing. It’s playing it safe. If the character isn’t at some point in real trouble, if the language doesn’t reach up into a sort of lyric register, what is the point? I’m not saying that’s how all writing should be, but that’s my feeling about it. If you’re not writing for those lyric moments, what are you writing for?

BELL

Are those germs for story? Do you know the moment, or do you start with the character and get there?

ALMOND

I usually start with characters and I have some sense of what they want or what they’re after, what they’re frightened of. And the rest of it, at least to the extent that you can, you’re trying to let your artistic unconscious steer. You might have broader sense of, Okay, Aus is a closet gambler and that’s got to be revealed somehow, and Sharp—I didn’t know who Sharp was—he walks in. I like that he’s got an attitude, I like that he’s sharp and jagged and well- defended, but I didn’t know he was going to start talking about his kid and reach this moment where his wife is on the brink of leaving. That’s just stuff—I don’t even know how to explain it. As you’re writing the character, suddenly that’s who he is, that’s what pops out. Undoubtedly it comes out of my own preoccupations and obsessions, but I’m not trying to figure that out as I’m writing. I’m just hoping my artistic unconscious is going to feed those moments where characters come apart against the truth of themselves.

You can engineer the plot to an extent, but the lines themselves and the journey that a particular character takes toward that moment should be a mystery to you. That’s the joy of writing fiction. There’s this mysterious thing that takes over. And to some extent, nonfiction as well. I didn’t know that Candyfreak would lead me in this, that, or the other direction. That’s part of the pleasure of writing. If you know it all already you start to feel self-conscious and predetermined. There should be lots of stuff you don’t know. That’s what allows you to surprise yourself and keep a preserved sense of mystery in your work. Your artistic unconscious has to deliver so much to you. It’s way more powerful than your conscious efforts to jury-rig things.

STUBSON

Can you consciously train your subconscious so that you can make those kinds of discoveries?

ALMOND

All you can do is be honest about the things that stick in your craw, without trying to psychoanalyze them or understand why. As a nonfiction writer, Susan Orlean becomes completely obsessed with orchids, and she just follows it. She doesn’t wonder, Why am I interested in this. What is it about? She just follows the trail. Can somebody teach you to be that way? No. You’ve got to find it within yourself. I tell my students to write about the stuff that matters the most deeply to them. In fiction, you don’t always know you’re doing that; you have to sneak up on it.

I wrote this story years ago called “Among the Ik.” It’s in My Life in Heavy Metal and it’s based on something that happened to me. I went to visit my friend Tom in Maine, whose mother had just died. Also, he’d just had his first child, a baby girl. I walked in the house and there was the baby and the baby’s mom and Tom’s brother-in-law and sister in front of the fire, and they were having tangerines. This beautiful tableau. But I walked into the kitchen first and there was Tom’s dad, and Tom introduced me to him, this grieving widower, and he’s nervous and for whatever reason, rather than allowing me to move into where the action is, where the new life is, he nervously cornered me and found out I was an adjunct. He was thinking, I guess, about when he was an adjunct, and he told me this story about having to identify the dead body of one of his students.

It was a weird story, but as a fiction writer you’re always on the lookout for that. It stuck in my craw. I don’t know why it did, it just did. I sensed that he was frightened to integrate with the rest of the family. So for whatever reason, this lonely guy telling me this story about a dead body gets in my craw and I start writing about it. I’m not investigating why. I just know it’s stuck in my craw and that usually is the signal to me that I need to write. So I write this story and I change a bunch of things—he’s a poet in real life, but I make him an anthropologist. My artistic unconscious feeds me this memory of when I was in second or third grade and we watched this film about a tribe somewhere called the Ik, and how the environment there is so unremittingly harsh that parents sometimes leave their children behind. It haunted me for years, rolling around my subconscious, and up it pops the moment I needed it in this story, when I’m writing about parents and kids and families and how they connect emotionally or are unable to connect emotionally.

I finish the story and when My Life in Heavy Metal comes out, my dad sends me a long note saying, “Oh, gee, Steve, your mother and I really like the stories; we’re very, very proud of you, and about that story ‘Among the Ik’—I just want to tell you that I never realized I was such a distant father.” And my immediate reaction was, What are you talking about, Dad? That story’s not...about...you. It’s about that episode that got stuck in my craw. When I wrote it, I didn’t sit at the keyboard and wonder why I’d been thinking about it so much. I just chased the story.

I don’t think you can train your mind. But you can spend time at the keyboard and you can try to be relaxed when you’re at the keyboard and write about the things that you’re preoccupied with and be as unselfconscious and as unremittingly honest as you can be. That’s about all you can do. I don’t know of any push-ups for your artistic unconscious. I just know that the best work I’m able to do is when I’m writing about stuff I’m obsessed with, especially with fiction, when I have no idea what I’m doing; my characters are acting on my behalf and my obsessions are disguised and I just sneak up on them.

Issue 73: A Conversation with Joyce Carol Oates

Joyce Carol Oates
Issue 73

Found in Willow Springs 73

April 13, 2013

Melissa Huggins, Katrina Stubson, Ben Werner

A CONVERSATION WITH JOYCE CAROL OATES

"I believe that art is the highest expression of the human spirit,” Joyce Carol Oates declares in The Faith of a Writer, “I believe that we yearn to transcend the merely finite and ephemeral; to participate in something mysterious and communal called ‘culture.’”

Oates has dedicated herself to life as an artist. She’s produced over a hundred published works, including novels, short stories, essays, poetry, plays, and book reviews. But more impressive than the sheer volume of her work is the empathy required to bring to life such an array of characters. She has inhabited the minds of serial killers and politicians, young mothers and abusive fathers, starlets, famous writers, prisoners, and more. Often her fiction centers on the aftermath of a moment of violence, circling back to that moment repeatedly over the course of a character’s life, delving into the damage, and usually moving toward a kind of redemption—but not always.

Oates grew up in Lockport, New York, and attended a one-room schoolhouse, where she pursued an interest in writing, drawing, and other artistic endeavors from a young age. Upon receiving her first typewriter as a gift from her grandmother at age fourteen, Oates began contributing to her high school newspaper, and wrote stories and novels throughout high school and college.

Her novels include them, which won the National Book Award; Blonde, a Pulitzer Prize finalist that imagines the inner life of Marilyn Monroe; The Gravedigger’s Daughter, loosely based on part of her own family history; New York Times bestseller The Falls; and We Were the Mulvaneys, which details the disintegration of a seemingly perfect family. Her nonfiction includes the essay collection On Boxing and a memoir, A Widow’s Story. Noted for being prolific, Oates publishes an average of one to two books per year, in addition to her teaching, reviewing, editing, and other pursuits. “It is sobering to be asked—so often—‘How are you so prolific?’ When I feel so earnestly that I am always behind, and never caught up,” she writes. While she recently announced that she will retire from Princeton after teaching there for over thirty-five years, she plans to continue teaching elsewhere, and 2014 will see the publication of a novel, Carthage, and a story collection, High-Crime Area.

Since 1963, over forty books by Oates have been included on the New York Times list of notable books of the year. Among her many honors are two O. Henry Prizes, the PEN/Malamud Award for Excellence in Short Fiction, and an M. L. Rosenthal Award from the National Institute of Arts and Letters. In 2010, President Barack Obama awarded Oates the National Humanities Medal, and in 2012, she was awarded both the Mailer Prize for Lifetime Achievement and the PEN Center USA Award for Lifetime Achievement. We spoke with Ms. Oates during the Get Lit! Festival in Spokane, shortly after the publication of her Gothic novel The Accursed. We discussed, among many topics, the “fantastic risk” of being a writer, feminism in the age of Twitter, and the transcendent nature of art.

Melissa Huggins

Edmund White once said that you seem to dream your way into your fiction, as if you were in a waking trance, and that you imagine other lives so vividly that they must leave you exhausted. Does that seem accurate?

Joyce Carol Oates

While that might be true for some of my writing process, I’ve been writing so long, and with so many different projects, that it’s probably only applicable to some aspects. I’m a professor, I teach literature, and I’ve written a lot of literary criticism and reviews, so there’s a side of me that’s extremely conscious. I was talking about postmodernism last night, and postmodernism is really an attitude, a way of looking at life and literature, where you’re drawing upon different traditions very consciously and choosing to present things in a form, so you’re also a formalist. And that’s different than being in a trance or dreaming. The two might fit together in some way, but in my deepest heart, I’m probably a formalist. I’d love to be given a certain structure for a work of fiction, to see if I could put content in it. There’s something about form and structure that excites me—maybe the way the sonneteers were in the Renaissance, writing sonnets, writing them brilliantly, and competing with one another. They were writing works of great art, yet within a form.

Huggins

Was that part of your goal in writing The Accursed? You had a structure, and you wanted to fill it in?

Oates

No, I didn’t have a structure in mind; it was more like an idea, writing in a certain genre or a certain place. I wanted to write a number of long, quasi-historical novels, and for that you need a broad canvas. It’s not the kind of intense insular writing you find in Henry James, narrow and deep, with maybe two or three characters. With this kind of writing, you want characters who are somewhat contrasting, maybe of different social levels, different personality types, and when they come together, narratives derive from these characters meeting.

With a novel like The Accursed there are many quasi-historical characters. So if I’m writing about Woodrow Wilson, I’m trying to imagine what it would be like to see him in 1905 and not be overwhelmed by his fame or authority, but to see him from the perspective of somebody who might not think he was extraordinary—because they were both living at that time. What would a contemporary think? Some didn’t think much of him, so the novel accommodates that. The novel’s character driven, but the form is gothic horror. I knew there would be a curse and manifestations of the curse, which increase in horror, and then there’s the pursuit of the mystery, and hints to the reader about what the mystery is—but not too openly. It’s not exactly a structure, but more an intuitive sense of what you’re doing, and you know the last chapter will explain it, because it’s a genre novel. It’s not a literary novel in the sense that it’s irresolute, ambiguous. With a genre novel, the ending is like a light thrown back on everything, and if you read it a second time, you see how it fits together. That’s a classic mystery form. When a mystery is done correctly, you read it a second time and it all makes sense. But the first time, you’re mystified.

Sometimes with a novel, people say, “Oh, this is predictable,” because they’ve seen it before. Or you sit down to a movie and after twenty minutes you see where it’s going, and you’re not surprised, because the form has become formulaic. But you can also make a form feel new—you can have surprises, and you can do reverse things. For instance, I like to have a character who you see from the outside as superficial, but who gets deeper as the novel goes on, maybe veering in a new direction and meeting somebody, and because of meeting somebody, changing.

Katrina Stubson

Is your research process for historically based fiction different from your research process for nonfiction?

Oates

I’m not a historian, and I don’t really write historical novels. The Accursed was more of an experiment. I did write a novel you could call historical, Blonde, about Norma Jean Baker, who became Marilyn Monroe. I saw a picture of her when she was about sixteen, a high school girl, and she didn’t have blond hair and she didn’t look much like Marilyn Monroe, just a tiny bit, and I thought, How interesting to go back to whenever that was, and to write about her as that girl. I went back further—to write about her when she was just a child with her mother. I did a little research into the Hollywood of that time, because they were living in Los Angeles and her mother worked in one of the studios, and I did some research into what movies they were seeing and what the studios were making and where they lived, which was Venice Beach. I was going to end the novel when she becomes a starlet and gets her name, Marilyn Monroe. But when I got to that point in the novel, about 180 pages or so, I thought, Well, I can’t stop now.

I started doing more research. I saw all of her movies, ending with The Misfits, which came out when she was about thirty-five. I could see this young actress maturing—she was an excellent actress—and I could see her getting older and becoming more like a cliché. In The Misfits, her last movie, she’d become the Marilyn Monroe stereotype. She’d started out as an individual, and then she got deeper and deeper, until finally she would have to live out the stereotype—that they’d made her up, that she was so into her clothing—and I think she probably felt, perhaps unconsciously, that there was no more life for her, that she would have to keep doing that Kewpie doll thing for the rest of her life, and so she committed suicide.

That was a different kind of research, generated during the writing process, not before. It was research generated by the act of writing. With The Accursed, I had fun looking for ironies and surprises and comical things in the lives of people like Woodrow Wilson and Grover Cleveland and Teddy Roosevelt, because they’re always presented as these males who’ve achieved so much as presidents. But we can also present them differently, as human beings. Woodrow Wilson was a man who rode a bicycle around his town because he couldn’t afford a car, and the well-to-do ladies were kind of snobbish, like, “Oh, he’s riding a bicycle.” That’s a whole attitude toward a president that most people don’t have, seeing him from the point of view of the townspeople.

Ben Werner

When you’re fictionalizing historical characters, is the approach different than when you’re writing purely fictional characters?

Oates

Woodrow Wilson had many, many letters and a lot of words he wrote that I could copy down, especially the foolish things he said, and some of them lofty things, but everything he said kind of annoyed me. For example, this famous speech he made, “Princeton in the Nation’s Service,” was about how Princeton is great, and because it’s so great everybody has to be great, even the students have to be great. There’s so much pride and vanity. What about other universities? Maybe they’re great, too. It was this tiny vision he had, and there was something about him I found annoying. So I guess I would look at those things, whereas if I were writing him as purely fictional, I wouldn’t put so many of those details in, because people would say, “Oh, you’re exaggerating.” But when you go to history, and see the insane things that, say, Hitler said, you probably wouldn’t make them up, because they’d seem over the top. White supremacists provide us with wonderful copy because they say the most asinine things. You couldn’t write poetry as bad as the poetry they loved.

Stubson

You write that you were in love with boxing from the moment you went to fights with your dad. Was On Boxing a book you’d thought about doing for a long time?

Oates

When I was a girl, my father did take me to fights, and I was interested at a young age in this very masculine sport. I wouldn’t say I was in love with it. I was a girl at ten or eleven with my father in a masculine environment, but I didn’t have any thoughts about it. I wasn’t a feminist yet. We would watch boxing matches on television, which were on every week, and there were great boxers at that time. I was aware of them, but I wasn’t a student of them. Many years later, I was writing a quasi-historical novel called You Must Remember This, in which the character’s a boxer in the 1950's, a great era for boxing. I was writing about the Red Scare, Senator McCarthy, people informing on each other, loyalty oaths, stuff like that. I did some research, looking at films of boxing in the 50's. One day the phone rang and it was the editor of The New York Times Magazine, Harvey Shapiro, who was always asking me to write something, and he said, “What are you working on?”

I said, “Well, I’m working on a novel, so I don’t think it would be of interest to you,” and he said, “What’s the novel about?” and I told him. He said, “You know, Father’s Day is coming up. Why don’t you write an essay about going to the fights with your father?” “Oh, I can’t possibly do that,” I said, and I hung up. Then I thought, Well, if I’m a feminist I better say yes, because a feminist is supposed to take challenges. So I called back and said, “Okay, I’ll try. I’ll send you something.” I started writing this essay, and it got long and complicated. I was going back to the ancient Greek warriors and all this history and it was this and that, and I was kind of devastated by how hard it was to do because it was for The New York Times Magazine. I knew about a million people would read it, and I was self-conscious. There’s a certain solace in writing fiction—you almost think nobody’s going to read it. You feel protected. But when you do this kind of journalism, especially in the New York Times, everybody’s going to read it, and a lot of the people who are going to read it are people who don’t know you, they don’t like you, they could be contemptuous.

I got paralyzed. I was anxious and depressed and writing more and more, and none of it was very good. I told my husband, “Well, I completely failed, I’m giving up.” And I was devastated. But the next morning I thought, I’ll write about failure. Because most boxers fail, and that’s the secret of boxing, to take this terrible punishment. Even the champions fail eventually. So the first thing I wrote was about a terrible boxing match I’d gone to at Madison Square Garden, and that’s the beginning of the book.

If I hadn’t had the call from Harvey Shapiro, I would never have written any of this. I couldn’t get it together until I felt that it completely failed. But that’s the secret of boxing and maybe a lot of sports: athletes have to endure failure. People look at the champions and think, Oh, look at this wonderful champion, with no idea of what the pyramid is like, and how at the bottom of the pyramid are broken, defeated, injured people, whose lives have been devastated by the sport, especially in the past. Now there are doctors who are more vigilant. But in the past, a young man could sustain an injury in the ring, very young, twenty-two years old or so, hemorrhage a week later and die, and nobody would care. My father had a boxer friend who committed suicide—he had been badly over-matched and defeated in the ring. At the time I didn’t think anything of it, but as an adult looking back, I thought, Of course he committed suicide.

And so I saw that line there. That’s the secret of the book. If I didn’t have that, I wouldn’t have written On Boxing. The essay came out in the New York Times on Father’s Day, and it was successful as an essay— I started getting telephone calls, including from boxers. A photographer wrote to me and said, “I’d like to do a book on boxing. I’ll do the photographs and you can do the text.” That was John Reiner, who became a friend, and they were just wonderful photographs. I thought it would be a book with big photographs and I would do the text. Then, as time went on, the editor wanted me to write more, and the photographs got smaller, which I was sorry about because they’re so good. The book has been reprinted a number of times, and each time I’ve added more. I have a lot about Ali and Tyson, and I have some book reviews. I could maybe add something about women’s boxing some time.

The original text came out when Mike Tyson was just ascending—he may have already had his title. I got a call from Life magazine, saying, “Will you cover Trevor Berbick defending his title against this young boxer?” I said, “I don’t think I could do that,” because I’d never covered anything like a sports event—that’s a whole other kind of writing. But I called back and said, “Okay, I’ll try it,” and they sent me to Las Vegas. I was sitting next to Bert Sugar, who’s this legendary boxing writer, and I’m surrounded by these guys with their cigars, and I’m sitting there like I don’t know what I’m doing—because you can read about boxing and see pictures and films, but when you’re right there, you can’t even see their hands, they’re so fast. So Bert Sugar, this guy with his cigar and his fedora, he took pity on me—there’s smoke all around—and he said, “Ah, well, I could tell you some hints,” and I said, “I would really appreciate it, Bert; I don’t know what I’m doing.” He said, “Well, the first thing you gotta do is, you get a tape of the fight. And after the fight, up in your room, you watch the tape. And you watch it and watch it and see what really happened.” That’s the most important thing they told me. That’s what sports writers do if they can, because otherwise you hardly know what you’re seeing. So that’s what I did. I wrote a long piece on Tyson for Life magazine, which got a lot of attention, and then I did a few other pieces. That’s the long story about On Boxing. It was a lot of fun and I wish I could find another subject that would be so exciting and interesting to me.

Huggins

You light up when you talk about it.

Oates

It’s because of the boxers. Their characters and their personalities are amazing. Each boxer is an interesting person, plus their trainers, sometimes their managers. Each fight, each classic fight is kind of astonishing. Some of them seem almost like fairy tales. The classic fights are extraordinary. You have the great Cassius Clay, Muhammad Ali, and he’s almost like a dancer, so mercurial and fantastic. He transformed the sport. The other boxers who come afterward are probably all in some relationship to him—there’s no boxer that’s not aware of him, and whether they know it or not, they exist in relation to him, especially heavyweights. Tyson was quite a good boxer, as well as a good fighter. People wonder how he would have done against Muhammad Ali. It’s these personalities.

Stubson

In On Boxing, you relate boxing to writing in various ways. In particular, you wrote about Rocky Marciano and his monastic rituals leading up to a fight. I’ve read that you relate to those rituals as a writer. Could you talk about how important ritual is to you?

Oates

People do make analogs between boxing and writing. I don’t think the boxers share in it as much as writers imagine. But boxing is collaborative. When you see a boxer, invisibly around him are his trainer and a lot of other people. There almost isn’t a boxer by himself. Ali had a great trainer, Angelo Dundee. Without Dundee, we wouldn’t have Muhammad Ali. Cassius Clay nearly lost his first fight against Sonny Liston. He was going to quit. He was actually made to go back up and finish the fight. Without that trainer, you never would have heard of Ali. With a writer, it might be true sometimes that there’s a mentor or somebody helping, but I think writers are often much more alone. Boxers are more like actors. People see an actor onstage or in a movie, and he’s not alone. There’s a director who’s telling him everything. Basically, they’re sort of material that directors are using. But I think writers are much more alone, and adrift, and unmoored. Imagination is like a river going along. The gifted athlete is someone that somebody has taken and invested money in, given him a regimen, even a diet, controlled his career, set him up with competition. He’s much more guided than a writer. There’s also the idea of taking punishment, and delaying gratification. If you’re a young boxer, you have to know how to take pain, and if you’re a young writer, I guess it helps if you know how to take pain. You can work on something for months or even years, not being sure it will ever be published. That’s a big risk. That’s a fantastic risk. To think that you can invest months of your life in something and it might come to nothing? The same is true of a boxer. You can invest so much effort, and the first important fight he could lose. Somebody’s going to lose that fight.

Huggins

As you said earlier, it’s a constant cycle of failure for boxers. You’re going to continue to keep failing, and that seems like somewhat of a parallel with writing. Not in terms of submissions or publications, but the writing itself.

Oates

Writers tend to set their own levels of achievement. We’re all different. Some feel that if you write all through the morning and have two or three pages, that’s all you really need to keep going, and then in the afternoon you can go for a bicycle ride, and the next morning you do the same thing. That’s a nice schedule. But then there are writers who are fanatic, who get neurotic and obsessed with their work. Maybe they would think that wasn’t enough, or they would rip it all up or get drunk. The schedule is not a solace to some people. I know Robert Stone. He’s taken a lot of drugs—this is not a secret, he writes about it. He’s a very gifted writer, but I know there’s a dark, deep, obsessional personality inside him. I can’t imagine what’s going on. David Foster Wallace is a more contemporary example. You know from his writing that his mind is convoluted, sometimes playful. You have to extract from that what it was like to be him. Maybe he could work for eighteen hours and not be happy with anything he did. Maybe he could have a whole manuscript and hate it, and become so trapped that he would commit suicide. Whereas the boxer is more like somebody’s son. The trainers are usually a bit older, sometimes they’re quite elderly, so the boxer is like a grandson. Say you feel depressed: your trainer talks to you, he’s nice to you, he buoys your spirits. I don’t think writers have anything like that. If someone tries to cheer a writer up, they’re just ironic. Writers are somehow so defensive, or too self-conscious.

Stubson

In the fall of 2012, you wrote on Twitter, “Last night at the Norman Mailer Center awards ceremony in New York City, Oliver Stone said beautifully, ‘A serious writer is a rebel.’” Could you elaborate?

Oates

A serious writer is transgressive. A serious writer sets out to write something that maybe disturbs and annoys some people. You’re not going to set out to write a novel that’s bland and makes everyone say, “Oh, yeah, I agree with that.” Nobody wants that response. You want to turn people’s expectations a bit. I know that some people are annoyed or offended because I wrote about Woodrow Wilson in this way that was not acquiescent or admiring, the way you’re supposed to be. It’s like writing about Abraham Lincoln, whom I do actually revere, or George Washington. Why should we revere these men just because we’re told to? Obviously that’s a little bit of a transgressive act. Oliver Stone is in that tradition—many of his movies are controversial—and Norman Mailer was in that tradition, too.

Stubson

I know you’re interested in Twitter. What appeals to you about it? Who do you follow?

Oates

Twitter is interesting because it’s so short. I find that I spend a lot of time reworking a sentence, throwing out punctuation, changing it around so I don’t need a comma. It’s actually very satisfying. I’ve not been involved in Facebook at all. Twitter is so much more verbal, and it’s somewhat more intellectual. I follow some writers, Daniel Mendelsohn, Ayelet Waldman, Dexter Palmer—writers who are friends of mine. Daniel Mendelsohn sometimes tweets in foreign languages, Latin, German, French. It’s a new art form, I think.

I follow Steve Martin, who’s a friend of mine. Steve will tweet infrequently, but then he might tweet eight times in a row. He’s very surreal, smart and funny. Then I follow the Tweet of God. He tweets about five times a day, and he’s always good. He’s so irreverent, but actually really smart—sort of a wise guy, almost like Mark Twain. He’s a former comedy writer for Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. The person who does Twitter, line by line, is Emily Dickinson. Her little observations, some of her poems, her letters, they’re all very elliptical and short. You have to read them several times to get any meaning out of them. Then there are people, like, say, William Faulkner, who could never do Twitter. Hemingway could do Twitter.

There’s also a lot of stuff about women, a whole women’s community. There are usually two or three articles that are being read and discussed, like the one from The Nation, about a woman being treated so badly as a writer. Post-feminist, post-something. When I read it, I thought it was very powerful. Then I read critiques of it. She was sort of fabricating it. So there’s a whole issue, and they come and go maybe once a week, these articles. But the big conversation on Twitter is, Are women treated differently as writers, like second-class citizens? There’s a lot of evidence that they are, that they’re not reviewed and so forth. That’s one of the things about Twitter that’s kind of exciting.

Huggins

In terms of Twitter being a breeding ground for conversations about women writers, there is always discussion when the annual VIDA statistics come out. Could you talk about that discussion and to what degree it interests you?

Oates

I think it’s an important discussion to keep roiling and bubbling, sort of like women’s rights, generally. With abortion rights, people think a battle’s been won, but actually it hasn’t. It’s a ceaseless struggle even to having voting rights for people; in the South they’re trying to take them away again. Nobody would believe that’s happening. So too with women and literature.

Women buy most of the books and do much of the writing, but not all of them are literary writers. With literary writers, it’s more of a rarified and controversial arena, kind of pitiless. People are really mean to one another. I was talking with students yesterday about young adult fiction. That’s an arena of writing where people are made to feel welcome: the reviews aren’t nasty, people are given two or three book contracts. They’re treated differently from literary fiction, which is like a battlefield. People are fighting for review space, and they’re bitter. If they get a bad review, they’re angry. If they don’t get any review, they’re angry. It goes on and on. I feel sort of hypocritical if I say anything, because I’m often asked to review, and I turn down most of the invitations. So I can’t go around saying, “Women don’t review enough,” because people can say, “Well, Joyce, we’ve invited you, but you turned us down.”

I probably should do more reviewing. I review for The New York Review of Books, I did something for The Times Literary Supplement recently, and sometimes for The New Yorker. I am a woman writer who is invited to review. At the same time, often I’m given a woman to review. But if I ask for a man, they’ll give me a man. Just left to themselves, I don’t think they’re thinking about it. Four books by women come in: “Oh, send them to Joyce.” A new book by Michael Chabon comes in, they send it to a male reviewer. It’s like a default. I think that debate you mention makes editors think a little more. They think, Well, have I been doing that? And now The New York Times Book Review editor is a woman, but no one remembers that twenty years ago there was a woman book review editor. Nobody seems to know that.

Huggins

It seems shocking that editors would automatically send someone of your stature only female writers to review.

Oates

You never exactly know with reviewing, whether someone has already been approached and declined it. I know at The New York Times Book Review I’ve been asked to review several times, and I’ve had to say no for different reasons. So they go to somebody else, and maybe before me they went to somebody else. You can’t make judgments. I’ve edited some books and special issues of magazines, and I know what it’s like to get work out of people, to have a fair distribution with all kinds of people, and there are some people who just won’t do it. You try getting various people, and they say, “Well, I’ll send you something,” and they never do. So I’m not as quick to criticize editors as people who don’t know what it’s like to be an editor.

Huggins

One result of the discussion following the release of the VIDA statistics was that it motivated some editors to consider the implications of those numbers. For example, the editor of Tin House, Rob Spillman, said that when they started to dig into their own numbers, the slush pile submissions were approximately 50/50 in terms of gender, but when they looked at whether each writer had been rejected before by the magazine, the men were five times more likely to resubmit than the women.

Oates

Oh, they gave up. That’s interesting. I’ve had a number of students at Princeton who were gifted, both men and women. But predominantly it’s the young men who went on to be published. You’ve heard of Jonathan Safran Foer? He had a novel based on his senior thesis. I’ve had quite a few other writers, but most of the ones you’ve heard of are men. Jonathan Ames has been around quite a while; he’s another one who did a senior thesis with me. He worked really hard. After he graduated he wrote to me and said, “I’m lying on the floor of my apartment and I can’t move, and I need for you to help me. I’ve completely broken and I need some help.” I wrote back to him and said, “Jonathan, you’ve graduated. You’ve got to be independent now. I’m not your professor anymore.” Evidently he got up—he’s got a real career—but there were young women in those workshops who were just as good, and I don’t know what happened to them. You can’t really make somebody revise a novel and keep working. I don’t know where they went.

When I had a literary magazine with my husband, Raymond Smith, we published a woman who was about sixty, and she was so happy we’d published her. I said, “You’re such a good writer; where did you come from?” She said, “Well, I had a story in Mademoiselle when I was nineteen, and then I sent them another story and they rejected me, and then I stopped writing for forty years.”

Can you believe it? She said, “Well, I just felt so bad, I didn’t write anymore.” Whereas a man would say, “Okay, I’ll send them another story, or I’ll send it to Esquire.” It’s a lot different. I try not to be easily wounded. When I was a young writer, I would have seventeen stories out to the magazines. It was like fishing with seventeen lines: you don’t expect anything much, maybe you get a nibble. If you have one line out that’s too much depending on it, but if you have seventeen. . .

Werner

How has your writing changed over the years?

Oates

Generally speaking, my writing is more driven now by voice than it used to be. When I started writing it was only one voice, and that was my voice, because I didn’t know how to write any other way. Now if I’m going to write a novel—say I write about some young black people in Newark in 1981, which is one of my new fiction pieces I’m working on—I make it driven by their voices and their personalities. It’s more mediated by the subject, whereas in the past the narrative voice was the author’s voice. That’s the biggest change. I really like writing with voices. That, to me, is exciting.

With any work of fiction, the prism is the character. If you’re writing an intellectual character, your tone is intellectual, your sentences are a little longer and more subtle. If you’re writing about a young person, the sentences might be more impressionistic and shorter. It’s always exciting to find that voice, which is not a literal voice; it’s sort of poetic, but mediated. To me, that’s the exciting part of writing.

Huggins

That sense of discovery?

Oates

Yeah, you have to work a while to find the ideal voice—not too elevated, not too plain—and adjust it. I was saying yesterday that there are certain ways of writing that are gone now, that people don’t do anymore. Once there was an elevated voice that was for everybody to read; Milton had that voice, and was widely read. Now, nobody really writes in that voice. They’re much more likely to write in a vernacular voice. You know Junot Díaz? He’s completely in the vernacular, but poetic. I’ve taught his stories, and he’s deceptive; you think he’s just talking, but you find metaphors, maybe two or three in a story, and they’re really sharp. It’s an American vernacular idiomatic voice but it’s poetic, and that’s a nice voice; that’s something we really like. Whereas a complicated voice, like David Foster Wallace, I personally didn’t find as engaging as some of his contemporaries. To me, it was too much of a wrought voice, too worked over, with his footnotes and so forth. Too writerly, like he was sculpting or carving out of stone rather than the fluidity of Díaz, which is almost like water running along.

Stubson

I’m curious how you determine your persona or your voice in terms of writing essays or reviews. Was finding your voice outside fiction difficult?

Oates

I’ve been writing a lot of reviews since my early twenties, so you find a writerly voice that’s communicative and not too dense. And if you write for The New York Review of Books, you have a sense of audience, which would be different than a newspaper.

Werner

Do you consider audience in your writing? It sounds like you did when you were starting to write On Boxing.

Oates

Only regarding these journalistic things, not with fiction. You can’t imagine any audience with fiction. But with The New York Review of Books, the essays are always well written, by distinguished people who are experts in their field. They write carefully, and the first paragraphs are always so good. I love the New York Review; I just love to read it. Sometimes I sit and underline the prose of these wonderful writers. So when you’re going to write for them, you take a lot of time and care. But basically it’s not voice, it’s just a little more worked over than it would be for some other magazine.

Huggins

You’ve written and spoken about the transcendent nature of art, and you’ve been quoted as saying, “Life without art to enhance it is just too long.” How does art make life bearable?

Oates

Did I say life is too long? You know, I’ve said many, many things. Sometimes I think I might just be joking. I think for most people life is not too long as it nears the end. When you’re thirteen and there’s a long summer, that’s different than when you’re eighty-three.

But in the beginning, I think art was identification with religion. Religion and art spring from the same sources. The earliest kinds of art were probably conjoined with religious symbols. Both of them are ways of transcending, so that individuals are unified through a myth—that they’re all created by the elephant god or the turtle god or something. Then the turtle gets illustrated, so it turns into art, and the two come together, a way of making people feel they’re connected. Which is true—we are all connected, so the myth corroborates that.

I’ll give another example of transcendence in art. Most of us, if we live long enough, will encounter people—maybe ourselves—who suffer from dementia and grandiosity and irrational behavior as they get older. It’s common and it’s mundane and demeaning and probably kind of awful. But the great play, the great work of art on that subject is King Lear. Shakespeare takes a universal experience and elevates it in this extraordinary play. That’s one of the great works of humankind, King Lear. If you contrast that with the experience of, say, going to an Alzheimer’s ward, seeing the difference between King Lear and these people: that’s what we mean by the transcendence of art. Shakespeare takes something horrible and transforms it into an occasion for extraordinary insight. Lear is blundering and irrational and almost collapsing but he rises to these insights about love and the meaning of life. When he dies at the end, there’s a new order as the young people come in. Tragedies have that form, where at the end there’s a new generation, so it’s like the death of the old way, as in Macbeth or Othello. It’s a quintessentially great work of art that takes human anxieties and tragedy and transmogrifies them into something like a new beginning. It’s very hopeful.

Issue 86: Ramona Ausubel: The Willow Springs Interview

Ramona Ausubel
Issue 86

Found in Willow Springs 86

March 29, 2019

POLLY BUCKINGHAM, KIMBERLY SHERIDAN, SIERRA SITZES, LEONA VANDER MOLEN, & CLARE WILSON

A CONVERSATION WITH RAMONA AUSUBEL

Ramona Ausubel

TO READ RAMONA AUSUBEL'S WORK is to experience a rebuilding of reality. She does this carefully. Empathetically. Like the stranger and the young girl from her debut novel, No One Is Here Except All of Us, who guide a small Jewish community into reimagining reality in order to survive the horrors of WWII, Ausbel uses metaphor and magic to cut a path through our perceived sense of normalcy and reveal the universal weight and beauty of grief, fear, and love. In a review of No One Is Here Except All of Us, Rebecca Lee writes, “Ausubel seems to trust metaphor as much as reality . . . [her] imagination wants to offer consolation for how ghastly things can get.”

Ausubel is the author of two story collections: Awayland (2018) and A Guide to Being Born (2013), and two novels: Sons and Daughters of Ease and Plenty (2016) and No One Is Here Except All of Us (2012), all published by Riverhead Books. Her work has appeared in The New Yorker, Tin House, The New York Times, NPR’s Selected Shorts, One Story, Electric Literature, Ploughshares, The Oxford American, and collected in The Best American Fantasy and online in The Paris Review.

Winner of the PEN Center USA Literary Award for Fiction and the VCU Cabell First Novelist Award, Ausubel has also been long-listed for the Story Prize and the Frank O’Connor International Story Award. Sons and Daughters of Ease and Plenty was a San Francisco Chronicle and NPR Best Book of the Year. Ausubel is currently a faculty member of the Low-Residency MFA program at the Institute of American Indian Arts and Visiting Professor at Colorado College.

We met with Ramona in Portland, Oregon where we discussed writing about family history, creating empathy, and the power of “What If?”

KIMBERLY SHERIDAN

I read you used to write poetry. Did you always write fiction, too? Or did you transition at some point. And does poetry still influence your fiction?

RAMONA AUSUBEL

I definitely transitioned. I definitely did not start out writing fiction. I took a fiction writing class in college and basically wrote poems. I wasn’t a very strong reader as a kid, so I hadn’t read that many novels even. The House on Mango Street, which I loved, was the first book where I was like, “Oh, wait, a book can be this? This I feel and love.” It was because of the poetry. It was because you can’t not feel the language. So I decided on poetry.

I finished college and went off to work crappy jobs. Then I decided that I wanted to write this novel about both sides of my family. My dad’s mom was Jewish and born in Romania, and they fled for their lives. My mom’s family came from fancy Chicago and was once an “important” family with lots of money and service people and grounds and wings of museums named after them. So I had this idea that I was going write a novel that was going to be the 20th century through those two women’s eyes, my two grandmothers. I understood that this was narrative and that it was a novel and not a book of poems. That was the extent of my understanding. So I applied to grad school. It was not a good first project for someone who’d never written anything longer than like ten lines. Eventually, it divided up and ended up being my first two novels. But the places where I felt most alive were still in the lines—thinking about the language and thinking about the images. No matter what I’m writing, the thing I care about the most is the line to line stuff.

POLLY BUCKINGHAM

Did you find other fiction writers who spoke to that poetic side?

AUSUBEL

Definitely. I had one semester where I was reading Pastoralia by George Saunders and Ulysses, and I was like, “These are doing things that are weird and they’re official literature, too.” I read every page of Ulysses, but I don’t know what’s in that book still. That’s magic. I love that about it. That was a useful lesson. There’s a thousand doorways in this place and every one you enter is going to change the whole house, so have fun. Just walk around, enjoy it.

LEONA VANDER MOLEN

The two novels are very connected to your life and your family’s history. But the short stories have this vein of the fantastic. Do you have plans to write a novel in that style?

AUSUBEL

Yes. Now that I’ve gotten the family things done, I’m off in the wild-lands and can do whatever I want. I’m working on a novel now that has absolutely nothing to do with me, and every character is a version of me. It’s about a couple who are scientists, and they’re working on a project to re-introduce the wooly mammoth in a lab, like CRISPR, all the genetic stuff that people are really doing. So this wooly mammoth is born on the shores of Lake Como. But they have two teenage daughters who are not on board with the project. Aside from having been to Lake Como, none of that has anything to do with me.

CLARE WILSON

In Sons and Daughter of Ease and Plenty, which is half of your background, did you have any fear about writing about the super-wealthy, this part of society that most of us don’t really have access to and perhaps are a little prejudiced against?

AUSUBEL

Yes, absolutely. That whole piece felt really intimidating. The money in the family was gone before I was born. But as a kid growing up with the house that my great-great-grandpa—he was an architect—built, I had the story and this “what we do matters” idea passed down. That summer house is now the Ragdale Colony outside Chicago, and my grandmother turned it into a space for artists and writers. My great-grandmother has a sculpture in the White House rose garden and was a working sculptor, which she could do because she didn’t have to earn a living. There are just so many interesting points of tension. But does the world need to hear about these people? Does the story matter? Do the struggles matter? So yes, I thought about it constantly. In the end I felt like the job of the book was to try to find those places where you see with some perspective and can empathize and imagine a life that was not without pain despite being hugely privileged.

WILSON

There’s a fabulist feeling in the first novel, then basically complete realism in the second, and then magic realism elements, sci-fi elements, fantasy elements, all kinds of elements, in the two books of short stories. Where do you see yourself fitting in the spectrum of literary fiction? Also, do you have other influences and people you’re emulating?

AUSUBEL

“Atria,” the pregnancy story, was the first story I wrote that I hadn’t thought about before I got to school. I wrote it in the five weeks before it was due for workshop, so I hadn’t identified the terrain of being a fabulist writer, or a fantastical writer, or a realist. And also, the fantastical-ness is all in her head, so it turns out that everything in the world is the same as the world we live in. The experiences we’re having, all of us, on the inside, are fantastical. We’re living these outsized emotional lives, feeling things that are a jillion-billion miles long. It might be a tiny thing that you feel this tremendous thing about, that you can never explain to anybody else, because why are you still thinking about that dude you saw on the corner, who exploded your heart for some reason? And then there’s the big things that happen to explode your heart, and the scenarios we’re all playing out—I shouldn’t have said this thing, and what if this happened, what if that bus hits me as I’m walking down the street—that’s actually where we live. Meanwhile, we’re walking around looking like normal people, and none of us are. The fantastical doesn’t seem so distant to me; it feels like it’s right there on the edge of what is actually happening.

I’m always trying to connect to that thing that’s happening on the inside, and I also want to play in as much space as I want. I’m not going to say, “Yes, I am a fantastical writer. Everything I do is that. I will stay in those lines now.” Sons and Daughters was not. I thought, as I set off, “Probably something magical will happen in this.” It just didn’t feel right. That was not what that book was. It’s still super weird. We’ve still got a giant, we’ve still got a badly planned sailing trip, and we’ve still got kids alone. There are plenty of things that are a little bit exaggerated from the world, but the story didn’t want a magical thing. I’m just trying to listen as closely as I can to the work and let the stories do what they need to do and take the best care of them that I can. Sometimes there’s going to be that crazy thing that happens, and sometimes it’s going to be pretty straightforward and just the feelings inside will be the crazy thing.

As far as influences, George Saunders was important. I’ve read all of his work, but “Pastoralia” is still my favorite. That story goes straight to your heart. I drove my now-husband to Las Vegas from LA, where we lived. On the drive, I read him “Pastoralia”—it’s like sixty pages long. I think it was partly a test: “Could I love you for a long time? Because if I can, you have to love this story.” And he did. And now we’ve been together for like twenty years.

I hadn’t really read that much fantastical stuff besides him until I got to grad school because I’d been reading poetry. People were like, “Oh! Have you read Aimee Bender? And Kelly Link? And Márquez?”  And I was like, “No! Tell me all those names so that I can avoid them, because I don’t know what I’m doing yet, I don’t know who I am as a writer, so I just need to not be afraid that I’m borrowing. I need to just be in my own thing.” I read no Aimee Bender, no Kelly Link, no Márquez until I’d finished the first two books. And now I get to enjoy all of them.

WILSON

All of your books are characterized by this sense of the author’s empathy and compassion so that even when really terrible things are happening, there’s still a sense that this is a character we need to view with balanced emotions and compassion. The farmer in No One Is Here Except All of Us jumps into mind as a truly awful character who is portrayed reasonably, empathetically. How do you approach that?

AUSUBEL

If we’re not writing toward that deep understanding of what somebody’s experience is, what a day or a moment or a life is, then there’s nothing. But I also really like when you get that sizzle: “Yes! I see your little heart working and you are trying and also you are completely fucking this up and failing! And you’re terrible right now! What are you doing?!” We are all failing in some way all the time, and we are all trying.

VANDER MOLEN

I wonder about the process of putting them on the page and letting them live because there are moments where I think, I can’t put a character through this, even though I know we’re all supposed to challenge our characters.

AUSUBEL

Totally. I am the most wussiest reader. Like, “No no no! It’s too sad it’s too sad—no no no, just fix it. Make it all okay.” And I think I’m that way writing, too. Obviously I was writing a Holocaust novel, so I knew terrible things were going to happen or they were going to happen in the periphery. That was part of what the book had to do. And my great-grandmother really did escape—we don’t even know where she was, probably somewhere in Russia—with her three children for years. No one knows exactly how long, but a really long time. They really did sleep wherever they could sleep and eat tree bark, and the baby did die in some sort of refuge-camp situation. I knew I had to go to those places. I was writing that story. Those were the points on the map. We’re following this path, and this path leads to all of these different places. But it doesn’t end there. I’m always going to try to rescue everybody a little bit at the end. Maybe I’ll change as I get older, but I don’t think I’m brave enough to end with the misery. I can go to the misery on the way if I know that we’re going to come to something a little bit okay at the end.

BUCKINGHAM

In “Atria” you treat the two men with great compassion, and that creates an edginess because we don’t want them to be treated compassionately. But we’re rewarded when they are. Could you address that dynamic in your work because it seems prevalent?

AUSUBEL

I think that’s true. The person who’s doing the bad thing, I want for us to see through it to something else in them always. Part of what I’m looking for is a way to come from a different angle than we’d expect. The guy in the convenience store was a lot like the boys I dated in high school—like, you guys, what was I doing? They were so pathetic, oh my god, but I saw through the pathetic-ness to something else. And also shouldn’t have bothered. I should’ve been like, “I see that you are a human being, but, also, get out of my house! Do not throw up in my bed!” Anyway, that part’s not in the story, but that character kind of comes from that part of my life. That’s why I wanted to get both of those really strong views on him. We’re going to treat him as a real person, and we’re also going to see just how not-great he is.

VANDER MOLEN

Sometimes you put your characters through hell and write about it very softly. I was wondering how you choose when to acknowledge the trauma and when to step back and let it just be that moment.

AUSUBEL

I’m trying to get the feeling, the experience on the page so we feel what’s happening for them, but also don’t follow all the threads too far. Because trauma is very hard to pin down. It doesn’t stop. It goes forever and it tangles up with every other part of your psyche and life and experience, but also in surprising ways there can be pieces of it that wind up supporting you to do something great. I want to feel the thing as itself. It’s the same way with the endings. Leave it, let it stand, and let it hang in the air, so you have that feeling of the trauma or the experience having endless spiraling lives for this person. It’s not going to be done at the end of Wednesday. If you write the thing too fully sometimes, you’ve created a stop for it when there is none.

BUCKINGHAM

Some of the most devastating moments are the moments you talked about where there’s no resolution. It’s just this strange thing that happens. One of them is the aunt treating the narrator like a baby in No One Is Here Except All of Us. It’s just devastating. Another is the little girl who shoots the ghost . . .

AUSUBEL

That story with the ghost had the weirdest inception. I started out writing it when I read this baseball story by an older, male, white writer. It was a good baseball story, and I was like, “Baseball stories, that’s a timeless, American thing. I should write a baseball story.” So I wrote a baseball story, and it was so boring. It had nothing to it, and I put it away. And then I was looking back through files and was like, “Could I wake this thing back up and make it into something that actually is a story, that’s mine, that matters to me?” So I took the little southern boy who is out playing baseball in his backyard and was like, not a backyard, but way out in the middle of nowhere with no social contact at all, and make the boy a girl. The only thing we need is songbirds and a grandmother who is inventing baseball in her own head. Okay, but what’s happening here? There’s a ghost, not like a scary ghost. He’s a Civil War general. What’s that guy doing? He’s a good guy. He’s been helping out in nursing homes. Okay. But what does he need? It still felt like a game and an experiment. I didn’t expect it to actually turn into a story that worked. But when I figured out who he was and what he wanted—he just wanted to be able to finally be dead—I was like, “Oh, okay, now this matters. Now there’s something of consequence here. She’s the person who can save him, something that she will have done and that she won’t be able to explain, and that will be hers alone.” Once it tunneled down deep enough to get to that feeling of release, and the weight of having to carry that release, then it became a story.

WILSON

In other interviews you’ve said that you do fifteen to twenty-five revisions on stories. Are your drafts that tunneling process, or do you do all the tunneling to get the first draft down, and then work on the line-level? Can you talk about how the story ends up in its final form?

AUSUBEL

Yeah, there’s tunneling all along. There’s no fun, polish-y stuff until the very end. I try to keep thinking about every part as a moving part, all the way through. Draft sixteen, yep, everything can still change. If I discover that the character could change in some drastic way and make things more interesting, that has to happen. And I have to follow that all the way through the whole thing, even though it’s going to take me forever, and it’s going to be really annoying. That is operating policy; that really matters because otherwise a thing that seems like the solution, and works for a while, you get too attached to it, you outgrow it, but then it’s there, and that means you put the story in steel bars. That’s the biggest it can possibly get. But if you build everything out of cardboard for a while, you can find out that it’s twenty-five stories, or that it’s miniature size, the entire thing the size of a dime. So I try to not put in anything that’s completely set ever, until I’ve got it all.

That also makes it fun because every draft I’m discovering things. I’m not just fussing around. When I write the first draft, I usually don’t know what I’m doing at all. I usually don’t have a plot. I can’t outline. If I outline, I’m instantly bored, like it’s already done. I have to have a lot of emptiness in front of me, and that means that the first draft is just wandering. It doesn’t make any sense, the characters are appearing and disappearing, or the setting is changing all the time. The first draft is incredibly mushy. It’s like a slime mold I’m playing with; it’s alive, but it’s not taking a form at all, and I don’t want it to. It gets a little more formed with every draft until it finally feels like I can see it all, and it’s doing what it wants to do.

SHERIDAN

You don’t feel stressed by its lack of form?

AUSUBEL

Oh, I feel stressed out all the time. It’s so stressful! It’s especially stressful with a novel. With a story, it’s only fifteen pages. Whatever, I can live with it if it fails. But with a novel, it’s such a long investment of time. Writing time is hard to come by; it’s not like I have twelve hours a day to work. If I spent a year on something that doesn’t come together, that’s terrifying. It just is terrible. But also, maybe part of why this process feels so important at the same time is because I can still rescue it. I don’t have a novel in the drawer. I have never given up on something long because it’s too heartbreaking to imagine doing that. So I revise eighteen times. On draft three, a wiser person might be like, “This thing is not working. We should put it in the drawer and start over.” But I’m like, “No! We will work this thing until it comes together. We’ll never give up!” Because I’ve already invested two years. I will not let it die. It requires a kind of bringing it back from the dead, every single draft, until it finally does actually take a form. It comes to life. There’s a moment in there somewhere where I trust it, where I know it’s not going to go away, where I know it’s a book. I still see a ton of things I want to do. It won’t be finished for months or a year, but it will get there.

SHERIDAN

Do you get any outside feedback? Do you have friends or readers read it?

AUSUBEL

I don’t like to have people read too early because I can get off-track if somebody’s like, “I don’t get it. I don’t get this whole thing.” Then I’d be like, “You’re right, that’s weird. We’re not doing that.” The wrong reader at the wrong time can really derail an idea. Part of why I feel the confidence in this new book is because I did show it to a little writing group in LA (where I don’t live, so we don’t see each other often enough). You put up the bat signal—“Guys, I’ve got a draft! I’m sending it to you. I’m flying out. We’re going to talk about it.” It’s so, so, so important. And they were like, “Yes, it’s a book. And here’s a bunch of things we notice.” Even just admitting to them that I had it helped me start to bring it together in a way that it hadn’t come together before. So they’re my first readers—there’s three of them—then, usually I’ll show it to my husband, and then it’s almost always ready to go off to my agent. I have other friends who I could ask to read, if I needed another round. But I do like to have it stay close for a long time.

SIERRA SITZES

When a novel hits that point you mentioned where some people would put it in the drawer, what are some questions you ask yourself to push it past that?

AUSUBEL

This is my very favorite exercise, I do it all the time when I’m stuck: write a long list, at least twenty-five, of “what-ifs.” It’s magic, I’m telling you. It’s the most important thing I know how to do. I have this novel. The novel itself is two-hundred pages or so right now. The document of what-ifs is fifty pages. I’ve come to a room with no walls, and I don’t know where to go. What are a bunch of things that could happen? It can be in the plot-world—this mammoth novel—what if there’s something wrong with the mammoth? Here are a bunch of what-ifs about what could be wrong with the mammoth and what those consequences would be. What if one of the daughters gets pregnant? She does, and it’s Neanderthal sperm . . . it’s complicated. But then that also needs to have a trapdoor, too. So what if it’s a possible Neanderthal baby, possible not-Neanderthal baby? By writing all these what-ifs, I decided that the place is going to be a castle. It’s a crumbling castle, once beautiful but now kind of terrible and falling apart, but in this beautiful place. What if for a while maybe it’s India, maybe it’s Siberia? And what if the older daughter is super angry about this thing that happened a long time ago, but the younger daughter feels completely differently? And what if the dad has a crush on the lady who owns the property? What if we rearranged stuff a little bit? You get a new sort of electricity. A lot of times that’s all it is, especially in the first draft—what if everybody had a new arm when they fell in love, and what’s the principle, and what are all the iterations of that, and what if we washed our hands in the cabbage soup?

This mode is a way of opening things up for me. If I’m in the document and I don’t know what’s supposed to happen next, I cannot continue. Whereas if I’m on the list, it’s safe. You can write anything on the list, and the list does not have to go in straight lines. What if there’s a rabid lion? I don’t think there is. So don’t worry about it. Leave it on the list, but keep typing other ideas, too. It can be anything. Whatever feels true, what feels interesting, what feels alive. You get to run all that through all your little instruments and see where things start to ping. It might not work. But all you’re doing is trying. You’ve identified this as an experimenting- and trying-land.

VANDER MOLEN

Many of your endings lean towards the unknown and the unsolvable. I’m thinking of the arm one [“Tributaries”] in A Guide to Being Born in particular. It ends in this lovely picture, but at the same time, I was like, “What?” How do you decide when to end the story, what to reveal for the reader, and what to leave for them to decide on their own?

AUSUBEL

I started that story because I gave my undergraduates, when I was in grad-school, a writing assignment, which I still give, which is to change one and only one rule about the world. Everything else stays exactly the same. So I was listing, “Maybe you have to walk on your hands the whole year you’re thirteen, or the girl’s hair catches on fire when she’s angry at her mother, or you grow a new arm when you fall in love.” And I’m like, “That one’s mine. Don’t do that, I’m doing that.” I assigned them the story over the course of a weekend, and I wrote that story with them. Instead of a story that had one larger arc, I wanted it to be a portrait of the world with this condition. So I knew it wouldn’t have a clear ending, because it doesn’t. You get to scan the whole land—this version of it, that version of it—but then it needed to weave together and connect. Even with an ending that doesn’t have an ending-ending, I still want you as a reader to see where you’re going next.

I don’t like short stories that end in complete ambiguity—“You just dropped me off and I don’t even know where or what path I’m walking”—but I do like it when you get there and you’re like, “Whoa, I have no idea what’s going to happen next, but I see where we’re going, the direction the energy is moving,” and then the reader gets to imagine what’s next, gets to participate. It works especially well for short stories—it’s this little delivery of what-if you get to hold onto, and you get to do this piece at the end that activates a new part of the story.

BUCKINGHAM

It seems like a lot of the stories in A Guide to Being Born end on a tiny gift, a moment of generosity. “Tributaries” does that and “Chest of Drawers” and certainly “Safe Passage.” It’s small. It obfuscates some of the darker tones of any of the endings. Could you speak to that?

AUSUBEL

That’s nice, I like that, doing something nice for somebody else. Maybe that’s because that’s what I feel is the only thing that saves me in the world. All the sad and terrible things are still true, they’ll always be true, but that tiny moment of generosity saves your life over and over again. Coming back to that must matter to me because I keep doing it. It does feel like sometimes that’s all there is, and that’s the only bridge that’s going to get you over whatever the other thing is underneath.

WILSON

You had four books come out within a six-year period, which is pretty fast. What’s your daily approach to your writing when you’re doing this many drafts and this much experimentation?

AUSUBEL

They came out in that time, but the first two I started like eight years before that, so there is actually more time in the frame. I write the first draft as quickly as possible because it’s less scary to just do it and get something done. The first draft of No One Is Here I wrote the last quarter of my second year in grad school in five weeks, and I wrote ten pages a day. I took weekends off. If you write ten pages a day, you’ll have 250 pages after five weeks. That’s enough of a draft to see what you’re doing. Ten pages is a lot, but it’s not absolutely insane; anybody could do that. The second time, I had a one-year-old, so I didn’t have the six-hour stretch. I wrote like five pages a day for a little bit longer.

Then with this new novel, I had a little more faith in the process, a little more faith in myself. I knew that I had done it and maybe could do it again, and that I could live with the not-knowing in a different way than I’d been able to before. So I wrote what I thought of as a half-draft. It was the bottom half, not the front or the back, but like the foundation, like starting to put some seeds in the ground and see what it was. It was about 150 pages, which, now revising it, feels like a good method. I think I’ll do that again because it meant that I discovered a lot about what was happening. I have scenes from the beginning, middle, and end. I have a lot of understanding of who the characters are. A bunch of things are happening, but I’ll have a scene I know is going to get a lot bigger. I know it’s going to stick its arms out to connect up to a bunch of other things. I don’t know what those other things are yet, or I don’t know quite how they connect. So instead of trying and writing the connections when I don’t know them, I’m just writing the foundational posts.

In all that first drafting, actually sitting down every day requires focus and a commitment: “I am in this; I am getting this book to come to life. And so I’m going to have to do that every day for whatever the time is. I have to keep coming back to it. I cannot be interrupted.” And after that, once it’s being revised, there can be more coming in and out. I have never been a person like Aimee Bender who writes for two hours every morning before she does anything else. She has always done that. She writes all the books that way. Which is great. But my kids get up early. Before five? No. We cannot do that. That can’t work for me. I’m okay with like, “For these five weeks I’m writing this first—teaching will fit around it, or whatever else I’m doing will fit around it.” And then I know there’s going to be a bunch of stuff that I have put off, so for a couple of weeks I’m okay with focusing on other things and not writing that much as long as I see that it’s coming back around. It comes in cycles, but I do try to look ahead so I’m looking at a scope of time, so I know. For example, I’m teaching a class next week, and it’s five full manuscripts we’re talking about. So I’ve been reading these books for the last couple weeks. I have not written anything, and that’s fine. I know that the second the teaching thing is done, April is a writing month.

My ideal writing day is four hours long. I write for two hours then go for a walk, and I come back and write for one more hour once I’ve figured out all the smart things that I thought of while I was walking. When in doubt, move across land. That always, always makes something happen. That four hours is actually a lot of time if you’re using the whole thing and not getting distracted.

VANDER MOLEN

You mentioned not needing to define something and put into a box, especially with your own work. I was wondering how that works for publishing because as much as we all don’t like boxes, the publishing world very much likes boxes.

AUSUBEL

They do, it’s true. They like to sort and label. I’ve partly been lucky. So far, the fact that they don’t all fall in line has been okay. I think because they still have a certain similar flavor. It could be that I keep going and somebody’s like, “No, you can’t write that literary thriller, that’s not what you do, we can’t sell that from you.” And that might happen. I don’t know. I don’t think I’m going to write a literary thriller.

I think there’s a really true thing—brand is a terrible word, let’s not think of it like that—but your own thing. You keep doing the thing that’s yours to do. And if you keep doing the thing that’s yours to do, and you do it as absolutely well as you can, and you keep going over that thing until it is a hundred-percent itself, and then you let it out into the world, the world will figure out where it lands. That’s not your job. The “where it lands” and “who it belongs to” is a completely separate project. If you start to think, “Well, there’s this thing now everybody’s writing, like The Girl on the Train, I should try to do that, get in on that thing,” it won’t be yours. Unless that’s really authentic to you, you’ll probably do a less-than-great job at it. Or you’ll do a good job and then the publishing world, because you’re trying to do this thing that falls into the label, will be like, “Oh, we got another one in the pipeline already, sorry, can’t work for us.” And then you’ll waste all that time on something that didn’t really belong to you in the first place.

As writers, we have to do the work, we have to do the art, we have to do the living in it: “I don’t know what this is going to be, and I don’t know if there’s going to be five people who want to read it or a hundred people, or nobody at all, or fifty thousand—that’s not what it is yet. Right now, it’s just this really true thing that’s important to me that I need to make to explain something to myself about how the world works. And I’m going to do it the best way I know how and the way that is most true to me, and then I’m going to trust in the next phase.” And then no matter what happens, even if nobody ever publishes it or nobody reads it, you still have done the thing that mattered to you. So it won’t have been a waste.

VANDER MOLEN

You hear a lot of novelists say, “I wrote this great novel and then they wouldn’t take it, so now I have five in a drawer,” and things like that, which is really disheartening because you want to put it out there.

AUSUBEL

That’s true for all of us, and it’s true no matter how far along you get. That’s no less true for me than it is for somebody who hasn’t published anything yet. I mean, no one has seen this book besides my little crew. They might be like, “No. This is just. What? No.” That could happen. And I’ll have to be able to live with that and also continue on and write something else. That could happen with the next one, too. There’s no knowing. But there is knowing what it feels like to make the thing in the first place.

There are a lot of conversations, especially at places like AWP and writing conferences and workshops, about the reader as the most important person in the room. What is the reader going to feel? What does the reader need? How can we serve the reader? How can we hook the reader? The reader is going to turn that page, is going to close that, is going to be bored. We’ve got to entertain them. It feels a little bit like this tiny little overlord. You, as the writer, are the first reader, and the most important reader forever. And it does need to actually be yours and to do something for you. You need to be answering the question that feels unanswerable, and you need to be writing toward something that is deep or profound or complicated or incredibly sad or incredibly beautiful. It has to be just because you feel that. No matter what else happens. The experience of having done that is what will stay with you for the rest of your life. I still feel so lucky that I have books in the world. I still feel like I got the golden ticket and I got to write, and that’s amazing. The books go off and live their lives, and actually it doesn’t have anything to do with me anymore. I’m done with them. I spent years in those worlds, but the time I spend there is when I’m writing them, not when they’re being between covers. They have a whole completely separate existence.

WILSON

One thing that makes your work unique, beyond the fantastical elements which might catch people’s attention, is the fact that you use many different points of views and very unusual ones. No One Is Here Except All of Us is basically an omniscient first-person, which is really cool and not something I’ve seen before. How do you come to those?

AUSUBEL

I’ve switched lots of points of view as I’ve written and in the revising process. No One Is Here, for many drafts, was all that “we” voice. I knew it was a problem, that it was hard to hold, and the people, those overlord readers, were going to be like “oh gosh.” For many drafts I was like, “I see you there, problem, but I need this. This is what gives the book teeth for me—this fact that they were all together as a group, they were feeling it as a group, and experiencing it as individuals and as one.” So I couldn’t leave it behind. I was like, “Nope, anybody who tells me something differently is wrong. This is how it has to be. This is what makes it a story. Fuck you if you don’t like it.” When I finished at Irvine, I had a second-ish draft.

Then I had a story published in One Story, which was my first publication ever. I got notes from agents after that story came out, and they asked, “Do you have a novel?” And I was like, “Yes, I do have a novel. I just have to do a few things, but it’s totally close.” Because I thought that they were going to slam the door and forget about me in five seconds if I didn’t send them something right away. Which is not true. I was wrong about that. So I sent No One Is Here to a couple of people when it was not done, and it was in that first-person plural, the whole book. I don’t know if I still have some of those rejections, but some of them were nice, “Oh, this is an interesting choice that you’ve made. I can see this. I don’t want it.” And other ones were like, “What are you doing?!” There was some guy who was a little bit mad at me. It was terrible. It was a tough point-of-view. But I was still annoyed: “No! This is the book! Shut up!”

Then my husband and I took this round-the-world trip, and there was an editor who was still reading it. I was like, “She’s going to be the answer.” We were in Morocco and I got this really long, really thoughtful rejection letter from her. She said, “I really want you to think about this point of view. I see why it’s here, I see what it’s doing, but I also think there’s like a distance that this necessitates. That might not be what you want in this book.” At first I was like, “Pssh. Stupid. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. I’m right about this.”

Then I rode a lot of long busses, and I realized, “No, that’s true. And I can still have it, and I can also have a person we’re close to. I can have a character who we feel attached to and are seeing the world in a way that makes sense to us through one person, through an experience that is individual, and I can still get that kind of Greek chorus in there.” So I changed the whole point of view over the course of like a week. There are lots of other things that also then had to be changed because of it, but I could see right away the way the story was starting to open up. I could have made a much simpler choice early on: “You choose first or third, that is just what you do, don’t mess around with something complicated. You’re just learning this, don’t be so big, just do a small thing.” But I do feel that’s what made the book matter to me and what gave me access. That’s critical. Think about being your first reader. If you don’t have access, if you’re doing it for some cynical kind of solution for a reader, you’re going to miss all these cool passageways that you would’ve gotten if you’d written for yourself first. Then you can come back and be like, “All right, what does this feel like to receive, and how can I make the process—that reception—both functional and a way of getting all that complicated weird stuff across the bridge?” I’m glad I figured out how to solve it, and that it eventually worked, but it needed to not be so close at first. Those entry points, which point of view often is, are critically important and they change the way the story feels completely.

VANDER MOLEN

Some of your books have very distinct sections. You’ve spoken about the organization in A Guide to Being Born in other interviews, but also No One Is Here Except All of Us, even the chapters have very distinct titles. I wondered if you could speak about the sectioning.

AUSUBEL

Yeah, I really like that part. Partly because it comes later, usually, so I have a sense of what the story is or what the book is and how it’s going to work. In No One Is Here, we’re in this really unknowable place. I’m asking readers to take a leap and be like, “We’re going to believe this with you. We know that it’s not possible to start all over again, but we are going to do that.” What does the title “Chapter Two” mean? You finished that part and now we’re moving ahead, somewhere different. I wanted it to feel like this is a specific place and moment that is nothing else. Nothing else is here. This is what this is. Partly, it’s for me to hang onto. It feels like this is the “Book of the River.” This is a real thing that is firm and important. Not just like, I’m sort of trying to continue moving this story forward.

I just gave one of my students an exercise. She’s working on an historical novel that has all these different characters and they’re all affecting each others’ lives. She’s trying to decide what the larger thing is. I asked her to do an exercise starting with, “It was the era of . . . .” It’s the era of cooking three breakfasts every day because my seven-year-old eats like a man. It’s the era of poached eggs immediately after cereal immediately after whatever. Not just like, “Today I made poached eggs and then I made cereal and then I made an omelet and then I made waffles.” That’s just about today. And maybe that detail sticks around and you’re like, “Okay that’s a lot of food.” But if I’m telling you, “This is the era of poached eggs after cereal after waffles,” it has bigger significance.

WILSON

The first section in A Guide to Being Born is Birth. And the first story is “Death.” I loved that. It was a little window into the author’s intent. Sometimes when you’re reading short stories, you’re like, “This is a great short story, but I don’t know exactly what the author was thinking.” So it’s a little bit of a guide.

AUSUBEL

Exactly. I wanted to reverse the order so you open the table of contents and you’re like, “Oh! We go backwards from birth to love. What does that mean?” Birth and death immediately at the opening feels like a little tension, a little confusion—it puts you on a different alert to pay attention. You know for sure as a reader that it was purposeful. I’m always happy when I have somebody being like, “Trust that this was on purpose.” Because then you get to spend time thinking into that, and wondering why that was, and creating your own map between those two places because absolutely they belong together.

BUCKINGHAM

One of the things that sets the tone for the point of view in No One Is Here are those Yiddish tales at the beginning. They’re one of my favorite things in that book. I wonder from your point of view how that’s operating.

AUSUBEL

I love all those stories. I love when you get to have a piece of storytelling that belongs to everybody in some way and you get to swoosh it into your little world. Those Yiddish folktales, versions of them, were told to me by my grandmother. So they belong to me and belong to other people in different ways. Some of those stories are universal. There’s a version in the Arabic world and a version in the Latino world. We all have ways of understanding the world. We work it into stories. That’s how we process things as humans. It’s a joy to grab one of those and twist it around a bit and make a new version of it.

WILSON

No One Is Here Except All of Us is pretty overtly dealing with religion and doubt about God and prayer and ritual. How did you navigate writing about religious experience?

AUSUBEL

I don’t know that I even thought about it as religious for a while. I was thinking first about cultural significance, the fact of all these Jews being sent away and moving and leaving and running and dying. But you can’t not think about God, partly because it’s a major religion, but also because of people being slaughtered. Where, then, is God exactly? I can’t not have that question. It did not occur to me until about draft sixteen that it was this event at the beginning of the world. Oh. The book of Genesis. The other beginning of the world. You would think that was the first thing I thought of. It probably should’ve been. I could use that language partly as a way for the reader to feel like there’s precedence for this—there’s a reason this makes sense to do and we’re going to go with it and we’re going to believe it. Because that’s a trick. When you’re writing something that has some sort of magic or some sort of huge leap of faith, you do have to get people to go with you. The actual scripture was the way to lift this thing up at the beginning so you were like, “This is how this story goes. This is the only way that they can do it.”

WILSON

Your family is Jewish, and the first novel is obviously very much about Jewish experience. I was curious how that kind of identity shapes your writing.

AUSUBEL

I didn’t grow up with any Judaism but my grandmother was born in Romania and then grew up in New York, and she’s the most proto-typical Jewish grandmother in the whole wide world. You walk in the door and she’s like, “Sit! Eat! Let me see what I have in the freezer.” She’s a perfect Jewish grandmother, and she’s my passport to all of it. Her parents were extremely observant. Very, completely versed. Kept the Sabbath. Did everything. And my grandmother—there were a couple of Polish boys across the hall when she was growing up and they had kielbasa and she was like, “I don’t know. That stuff is good. Did God smite me when I had the kielbasa? He did not. I think this is all nonsense.” She identified God as a hoax when she was eleven and that was that. She still identified culturally as a Jew, but is zero practicing. My Dad grew up in that world, so he had none of it at all. He lives in Santa Fe and does all the other things—like they had a teepee on their land for a while, there’s all the astrology—so he’s taken on all the other ways of seeing the world.

I didn’t even really realize that we were Jewish. It was an insider-outsider kind of relationship, which is part of why I wanted to write about it: this both belongs to me and is completely not mine. I didn’t go to Hebrew school, I didn’t have a bat mitzvah. I didn’t go to Israel on my birthright trip. I have none of the official anything, but it’s in the lineage and the stories. I identified with this history, and I also don’t really believe in god. What does that mean? It was a conversation with myself I really wanted to have.

It was so interesting, especially because that was my first book. Everybody was like, “She’s a Jewish author.” I got flown out to a bunch of synagogues, and I felt like such an imposter. I felt like I am not actually part of this at all. But they totally accepted me, and it was sort of nice. And then A Guide to Being Born came out, and there was none of that, no “Jewish author.” Well, okay. It was fine. I got flown out to do other things. It was a completely different version of myself, which was fascinating and so weird. And then Sons and Daughters came out next, and the Hamptons bookstore wanted me to come. This is so weird. I felt like I needed to put on my tennis whites and pretend to be the waspy part of myself that is also not really there. But it was a good lesson: It all comes from you, and there’s a million versions of yourself in there. And people of the world are going to decide that this is the story and this is the label and this the thing, and then you play that part for a little while. But it will only be one of the parts you play. Then you move on to a different thing, and the different tracks in the road will carry you along. Because I’ve moved around so much and the subject matter has changed in each book, maybe people are going to give up: “You just do you. You do your own thing. We’re not going to figure this out anymore.” We’ll see. Next I’ll be going to natural history museums or something. That’d be great. I’m looking forward to writing all the selves and obsessions I don’t yet have.

Issue 88: A Conversation With Kevin McIlvoy

Kevin McIlvoy
Willow Springs 88

Found in Willow Springs 88

JANUARY 25, 2021

POLLY BUCKINGHAM, JOSHUA HENDERSON,
ALEXANDRA JACKSON, SAMANTHA SWAIN,
& BENJAMIN VAN VOORHIS

A TALK WITH KEVIN MCILVOY

Kevin McIlvoy

IN SOME WAYS, Kevin McIlvoy is a musician first and a writer second. Although his career as a novelist is certainly longer and more widely celebrated than his tenure as a harmonicist, every word he’s ever put to the page has its own rhythm and melody. McIlvoy’s prose is as political as it is emotional, as formally experimental as it is vibrant and clear. And while his work can be read as an expression of joy, it is just as often a cry for justice and his own radical brand of empathy. As Karen E. Bender puts it, “Kevin McIlvoy is a writer of incisive moral vision.”

McIlvoy is the author of the novels A Waltz (1981), The Fifth Station (1987), Little Peg (1991), Hyssop (1998), and At the Gate of All Wonder (2018), plus a book of short stories, The Complete History of New Mexico (2005), and a collection of short-shorts and prose poems, 57 Octaves Below Middle C (2017). His most recent work, One Kind Favor, was published in May 2021 by WTAW press. He is the recipient of a National Endowment for the Arts Fellowship in fiction. Over his prolific career as an editor, McIlvoy served as the editor-in-chief of Puerto del Sol for twenty-seven years, and the fiction editor of Orison Books from 2017 to 2020. He taught in the MFA program at New Mexico State University from 1981 to 2008, and at Warren Wilson College from 1987 to 2019. His work appears in Harper’s, The Southern Review, Ploughshares, The Missouri Review, The Scoundrel, The Collagist, Kenyon Review Online, The Cortland Review, Prime Number, and Waxwing, among many other literary magazines.

For our first virtual interview, Kevin McIlvoy Zoomed into the conversation from his “writing shed” in Asheville. Across the distance from Spokane to North Carolina, we discussed the difference between a prose-poem and a poem-prose, Polish Catholicism, the importance of the long gaze, and, of course, the harmonica.

BENJAMIN VAN VOORHIS

Could you talk about the role poetry plays in your fiction and vice-versa?

KEVIN MCILVOY

On my father’s side of the family, I grew up with these amazing oral storytellers whose stories never quite added up. They were gin-driven. They had a lot to do with getting a rise out of the audience. They had certain patterns to them, but they went off the rails very fast. They were long stories and, at the end of them, you would say to yourself, “What was that?” You could say that you had been present for singing and that the singing had been so spellbinding that almost from the first words you gave up any expectation of directionality of narrative. My Aunt Hattie would start by saying something like, “So you got the arthritis in your elbow, do you?” And then she’d say, “I got just the thing for you. You got raisins in the house? Have you got some gin that you could put the raisins in?” And that would remind her of something, that would remind her of something, and then in the center of all of this was something very contemplative. “An old lady like me, a lot of people don’t listen to me, and yet I got something to tell you. You know I do.” The whole thing was singing, a very high form of poetry. That little island was a pure poem.

All of my first writing was making oral poems that probably shared a lot in common with Hayden Carruth, a poet rooted in oral traditions. I started hungrily writing poems, but all through high school I also wrote stories that were poems that, almost accidentally, would tell a story. I worked from six at night to six in the morning four days a week in a place called the Imperial 400 Motel, and I wrote stories. By the time I was a senior in high school, I had written 400 pages of stories and maybe 400 or 500 pages of poems.

My experience of most storytellers is they ask first, “What is it saying?” But my impulse has always been, “What is it singing?” With anything I write, if I can value its singing, I can find in it the way to value its saying. I start every writing day the same way: I copy out poetry, a Basho poem or a Li Po poem or a section of a Neruda ode, like the “Ode to the Artichoke.” I remind myself that I want to live inside the sentences and not immediately start asking myself, “Where is this going?” but to stay on the ground of the experience that the sentence is making sonically and then to discover by accident where this is going.

It is only in the last three years that I have allowed my poetry to move outside of my journal keeping. Three years ago, when I was more or less finished with One Kind Favor, the urgency to write poetry gave me two choices: one, to start pulling out of my journals and revise them; two, to say to myself, “Well, that has been a fifty-year apprenticeship, now you’re ready to actually write the poems that are deserving of and worthy of attempting to publish.”

I’m not done writing fiction—I have the first pages of a novella underway—but this is a new moment for me. Being uncertain, being vulnerable, is the best possible thing for me as an artist. I’ve come to believe it’s the best possible thing for anyone who presumes to make art, to place yourself in uncertainties, to be in over your head, to realize that the work is asking you to rise above your limitations.

VAN VOORHIS

You talk about oral storytelling in quite a few interviews. I can see a lot of that in Hyssop and in the “we” perspective in One Kind Favor. There, the linguistic experimentation seems to appeal to the eye as much or more than it does the ear. Do you think there’s a tension between oral storytelling and these formal linguistic experiments?

MCILVOY

I’ve always trusted incoherence above coherence. It didn’t surprise me to find in many tragedies the hero should always be more incoherent than coherent. Take King Lear. Lear begins in a kind of incoherent rage against his daughters and, as King Lear progresses, he becomes more incoherent; his soliloquies, when you read them carefully, make no sense. Lear’s dilemma is that he has no words for what he feels. He is constantly up against the inexpressible. One of the things I’ve come to believe is that autopoiesis, which is how a sentence makes itself, how any expression actually makes itself, is something that we always have the opportunity to be contemplating: how does a “we” narrator make itself? Tribal omniscience, that “we” voice, is a voice trying to speak for everyone in that community. That means, inherently, it is already kind of incoherent and chaotic because it is trying to be the voice for everyone. The reader feels almost immediately how irreal that is. That is, it is something that is real—we’ve heard it. We recognize it at first as the real-unreal. When someone uses it and sustains the use of it, it becomes more irreal as we listen. When I’m in a work that asks me to now go further than I’ve gone before in tribal omniscience, I’m feeling like, “Oh, okay, yes. This can quite organically verge into incoherence; therefore, I can trust it.”

It has always been surprising to me how much that “we” could accommodate. The nature of writing a novel is that you cast this big net. This “we” voice did constantly want to allow something else in, allow the smallest substories, what people might call supernumerary material, the kind of material that the book could do without, but it somehow weirdly belongs in. For instance, I can imagine a reader being annoyed by the fact that the hotel in my new novel is making what is non-language language. It is speaking. And if you remove that from the book, who’s going to miss it? Nobody. But I fall in love with certain novels if they are gratuitous, if they will allow in more things that don’t ostensibly belong.

One of the reasons I love Julio Cortazar is that in everything he has ever written, including highly “experimental” things like Cronopios and Famas, he was after what he called “the ludic mode.” He calls it this in his great book on writing, Literature Class, a mode that honors first and foremost the ludicrousness of life. It’s beyond comic. It’s ludic. He says that his sentences themselves should have this energy of the ludic, whether they’re two-word sentences, or twenty-five-, or 500-word sentences.

POLLY BUCKINGHAM

Who are some other writers who value incoherence?

MCILVOY

Hayden Carruth is also a master of the ludic moment. Tom Lux had a great understanding of this. I’ve been recently studying a Black writer, much ignored—because she was overshadowed by figures like Toni Morrison—Gayl Jones. She’s most famous for two novels, Corregidora and Eva’s Man. These books are unbelievably bold in the way they constantly destabilize the reading experience and give you a sense of how both the comic and the tragic reside in instability. One of the most invisibly “experimental” writers in the American tradition is Grace Paley. Her stories are experimental both in their treatment of scene and dialogue, but also in their narrative skid. They skid from one thing to another in such a way that you either have to learn in the first sentences what that experience is going to be and commit to it, or you pretty swiftly say, “No, thanks.” Another writer like that was Stanley Elkin. A great novel like The Dick Gibson Show has this quality of a skidding narrative and of a sense that every moment is in flux, that it is about to become something else, that something else is about to emerge from it, that something else behind it is about to become apparent. And he was multi-modal: You begin a story of his and you say to yourself, “This is so effing sad,” and, in the very next moment, you’re laughing out loud. In the very next moment, you’re unsettled because it is ever so slightly obscene.

JOSHUA HENDERSON

I’m really interested in what you’ve been saying about incoherence and destabilization. I can see that in works like At the Gate of All Wonder, where Samantha Peabody seems at the verge of being overwhelmed by the auditory experience of being in the forest. How do you imbue incoherence into your stories in a way that you find exciting and that invites readers to want to follow that journey?

MCILVOY

First of all, I think the temptation when you’re writing prose is to create a push and glide effect in language, language that gets you from here to there, that introduces this idea or this character, that moves you into this space, this setting, and grounds you there, that orients you in time and serves in moving you forward through the story. That’s one way of composing. Another way of composing is to write a sentence and to really live inside that sentence, to pay attention to it—what its sonic values are, what the characteristics of its autopoiesis are—before you allow yourself to write the next sentence, and the next. When you revise, instead of saying, “How is this sentence helping the reader push and glide through the work?” you ask yourself, “How is this sentence shifting the intimate experience of what Elaine Scarry, the philosopher, would call radical de-centering?” How is it a thing of slender passing beauty, a sentence that will—if you will be inside of it for just a second more, no matter what your inclination as a reader—be an experience dark and luminous on its own terms? Poets often talk about this in terms of lineation, but of course poets are the master sentence-makers, and they can talk about lineation because they understand things about sentences that those of us who are mere prose writers are a long way away from arriving at.

If you’re revising in terms of the push and glide, revision is asking you to change structural things: chaptering, space breaks, etc. But if you are revising sentence by sentence, you’re being invited to create a different form of chaos than what the previous draft was. There was a stage in Hyssop in which I could tell you exactly how many sentences were in that book. If you said, “Are you on sentence 22,412?” I would have been able to say, “No. I’m on 22,418.” And, because I worried about every sentence, silence became very important. Anyone who has ever had any musical training and is constantly trying to keep their ear sensitive and attentive and their musical sensibility absorptive knows that where silences land—either overt silences that manifest themselves in space breaks, covert silences that have to do with the ending of this sentence and the beginning of the next, silences that are made very definite by chaptering, and silences that occur in a pre-climactic moment and a post-climactic moment—will stay attuned to whether or not the reader will even wish to remain inside this chaos. Poets, of course, learn how to trust silence so much that they have a sense of the pressure sonically on either side of a silence, the gap that is created that has energy, the leap that has energy.

A normal writing day for me is that I will start my morning by copying out Basho or Neruda. Then I’ll start writing. After about half an hour, I’ll blow on my harmonica for half an hour and specifically try to be inside the blues that I love, delta blues, especially that gospel-inflected delta blues. Then I’ll write for an hour and a half, then blow on the harp. The harp is a way for me to be both playing the blues and also carrying in my mind what I’m writing, so if I’m trying to play something that Big Walter Horton played, in which he was imitating a Tommy Dorsey tune bended into the blues, then I’m paying attention to where there’s a very definite silence, a breathing silence, in which the player breathes into the harp, but there’s no effort to make a note. Those forms of silences are constantly changing the terms of engagement. I know it sounds like I’ve thought all this through and have some mastery over it. I don’t. But I do try to feel my way in, push my thoughts back, then think my way in, let there be a constant flux in both my manner of composing and revising.

BUCKINGHAM

You said something really interesting: “The silences allow the reader to get through the incoherence.” A lot of my favorite books are very incoherent, and they’re still my favorite things. What allows you to get through incoherence in other writers and what do you see yourself doing that’s similar?

MCILVOY

I really do love many, many different kinds of writing. I’m a tremendously eclectic reader, but there are only certain things that I decide I have to really study. At an early point in my life, I was really in love with Beckett, who most people consider a great challenge. They read a work like Molloy and they’re either in or they’re completely out. I want to come to terms with both what the reader is receptive to and what the reader is resistant to. I often will read a sentence and ask myself, “Mc, are you receptive to this sentence or are you resistant to it?” Since the normal assumption is that we are making sentences that the reader will be receptive to, it’s quite compelling to think that many readers are excited by exactly the kind of prose they are resistant to. Many readers who think they want to be engaged also wish to be estranged. If the work will not give them the opportunity to be estranged, it will be merely engaging. The marvelous thing about Beckett is that he is constantly estranging us, and we’re amazed that we’re engaged. But this is life at its richest. Life is full of these moments of receptivity and resistance, of engagement and estrangement.

Occasionally, I give myself the task of trying to comprehensively read someone I’ve only ever read in parts. The first time I sat and read all of Willa Cather, the letters, everything, I was almost at the cellular level changed, because she was writing a kind of story that no one else was writing: a story in which the central figure did not change or develop at all. Everyone around her changed and developed, but her dilemma was that she did not. Katherine Anne Porter reading Cather said that all her central figures have a quality of heroic fixity. They’re fixed in place. That’s what makes them heroic. The world is changing around them, and they cannot, or will not, change. It’s easy as an American male to resist that kind of character, to say, “Oh there’s a woman who just won’t change. How frustrating.” Cather would have understood completely. Male readers can be totally won by that story despite themselves. They realize that overriding what they thought they needed, which was engagement, the story, the prose itself, has provided something they desired beyond their understanding, which was the push and pull of estrangement-engagement.

SAMANTHA SWAIN

Who is your ideal reader?

MCILVOY

I try never ever composing or revising to imagine readers plural. I try to imagine a reader for that particular book. For instance, the reader I pictured for 57 Octaves Below Middle C is a reader who has a seriously disturbed mind, who appears maybe to everyone around her or him quite normal, a person aware that their mind does not work like the “normal” mind, a person who readily welcomes not only estrangement but repugnance. So when you meet a character like Teacher Reptile in 57 Octaves, who at various times is overtly repugnant, that reader would say, “Oh, this is my book! This is the book I want to be in.” When I finished an individual piece in something like 57 Octaves—and I could see that these pieces wanted to be together—I could say to myself, “Is the reader of the Basho piece that opens the book the same reader for the other pieces?” For me, it’s probably the only thing that unifies the book: I do think each of these pieces in their own odd way belong to the same singular reader. They are all also making a sound, and the presumption of the book is that they are making a sound that you have not heard before, in this case a sound that is 57 octaves below middle C. The title is taken from a study done by astronomy students at Stanford who discovered a tube-shaped galaxy. It was emitting a sound. They were able to measure the sound as being 57 octaves below middle C.

When I was far enough into At the Gate of All Wonder, I imagined a reader who was more delighted by the language nature makes than the language humans make—the language the birds make, that trees make in wind, that creatures make in their boroughs. If you know someone who is a really silent person, that is a person who actually stayed in human beings’ first language. Human beings’ first language is silence. They learned to not just be coherent in their silence but expressive in it. For most people, what falls away is their first language, silence. But when you speak that language, when you are “abnormal” enough that it has remained your first language, you hear the world in a different way.

So picturing a reader is very important to me. In fact, I will not attempt to publish a work if I distrust my own assumptions about the one reader for it. It’s the same with the poems that I’m now writing. Everyone says universally to writers, “How do you know when you’re done?” And writers who are honest always say, “I never know when I’m done. I just have a sense that I’ve brought to bear all of the skills I have at that moment and am honest with myself about that.” If I write a poem and I cannot say, “Oh, this is the one reader,” that poem simply gets put away.

VAN VOORHIS

Books like The Fifth Station or Hyssop are more traditional narratives as opposed to At the Gate of All Wonder, One Kind Favor, or 57 Octaves. Where does that difference come from? Does the way you choose to structure those narratives come from the way you might picture the reader?

MCILVOY

It’s a pure accident that people would read The Fifth Station or Hyssop as a more traditional narrative. They were made the same way as 57 Octaves was made, with me listening sentence by sentence, discovering in the work who that one reader is. In the case of something like Hyssop, I very much pictured the one reader who wishes for all language to act like prayer. And prayer across all traditions often has a sonic quality that distinguishes it. Picturing one reader means humbly acknowledging to yourself as a writer that certain things you write are just not for everyone. They’re for that one reader, and there may be six of those kinds of one readers in the world, who say, “This is mine. I can’t imagine anyone else liking this book at all, but I like it because it has this particular quality about it.”

ALEXANDRA JACKSON

Can you talk a little bit about how you find the element of repugnance coming into your work and how you see it resonating?

MCILVOY

We’ll take One Kind Favor, for instance. The character Acker is the embodiment of the writer Kathy Acker who was in her moment identified as a punk writer and whose work had many, many qualities that were off-putting, that are accurately describable as obscene, as repugnant. This was part of her aesthetic, to write her prose in such a way that it had raw, unfinished edges. It not only skidded into chaos, but it thoroughly resided there so that at any point that you’re reading one of her books, you have to say to yourself, “What am I? What is this?” Her great masterpiece, in my opinion, was a book called Blood and Guts in High School. It has obscene graffiti throughout, and the storytelling resists you. You are coming to terms with a form of chaos that is daring you to say, “Have I at any point in my life welcomed in this kind of experience? If I have not, why not?” When I encountered Kathy Acker, I thought to myself, “Wow, is there anybody making work like this?” To this day most of her work is out of print and probably will remain that way. She took the dare about the one reader very, very far.

Broadly, my philosophy of writing the novel is that sentence by sentence, you let everything in. You picture yourself as a person in a very small untrustworthy boat way out in the middle of the ocean with a giant net, and every pull you make to bring it in, whatever you’ve caught, threatens to capsize you, but everything in that net belongs there. Then, at a certain stage, sentence by sentence, you start to say, “Maybe not this one, maybe not that one.”

SWAIN

How does that process of letting everything in and cutting later change when you’re approaching short pieces and genre-bending pieces?

MCILVOY

Really short prose that exists in the middle distance between prose and poetry, what some people call the prose-poem, is for me great fruitful ground because in its form, it is already paradoxical: it is a poem, it is a piece of prose, it is both at the same time, and they are in resistance to each other. If you have to get down to a single expression of what the novel is, you would say a novel is the embodiment of paradox. When you are living inside a novel, whatever is happening to the characters, whatever you are experiencing, is a constant invitation to come to terms with what is paradoxical—that is very different than saying that it adds up to irony; irony is essentially the “aha” response. I think it’s a mistake to call certain things prose-poems that are actually poem-proses. They sound first like they’re poetry, and also prose. Someone decided that prose-poetry was the better expression, that a prose-poem is always first prose and second poetry. One of the reasons I’m always working on prose-poems is that being on that uncertain ground feels right. Also, sometimes, there just is no choice. Certain things manifest themselves in a way that as you’re writing them you say, “This is the ground of the prose-poem, this is the ground of the novel that wants everything in.”

I’m a gardener, and that means I’m constantly paying attention to my compost heap. My compost heap at any given moment is neither soil nor garbage; it’s in the middle distance. If I’m going to write about my compost heap, I’m going to write something that is either a poem-prose or a prose-poem. And, by the way, one can look at any one of my novels and can say, “You know, that chapter seems like a prose-poem, that chapter like a poem-prose.”

HENDERSON

In works like At the Gate of All Wonder, Little Peg, and A Waltz, a lot of the characters seem to be outsiders, people who feel pushed to the edges or, like Samantha Peabody, have decided they’ve had enough. They’re willingly going to get out of society. I’m interested to hear why that’s a topic you return to and what significance it has for you.

MCILVOY

Literature has often, especially in the American tradition, given voice to the outsider. In other words, I don’t think I’m uncommon at all in allowing there to be, in anything I write, room for the presence of the outsider. You think about Twain and about other American writers like Toni Morrison and James Baldwin, and there’s a way in which we welcome you, the outsider—at least that used to be quintessentially American. You are from another country, you are from another culture. We not only welcome you, we value you and wish to learn from you. It’s a good argument, by the way, in the post-Trump period, whether or not we are that country anymore. And it’s an honest argument whether or not our literature will now be transformed by an American sensibility that is exclusive of the outsider. I hope that American literature is not forever scarred by this selfishness, this narcissism that 74 million Americans are centered in.

You do have to ask yourself, “Is the one reader that I picture also an outsider?” If someone dares you to say, “Who are your readers?” and you answer, “I don’t know. Ask me who my one reader is,” then you are outside of the “literary marketplace” where the whole effort is to make work that is for readers plural. You have to be very honest with yourself about saying, “No matter how much a publicist asks me, I’m not going to insist this is for everyone.”

I do think we’re at an interesting moment, American artists in particular. Who will we be next in terms of the outsider who we picture as the reader? The outsider who has a central role in the work? And will we actually intensify our commitment to that outsider in this next moment, or will we turn away in a curious and even shameful way? I’m an optimist, so I actually do believe that American literature is leaning into the difficult moment and not excusing itself.

VAN VOORHIS

I read a lot of that sensibility in One Kind Favor. It seems more political than anything else you’ve written. What do you see as the role of politics in literature?

MCILVOY

One Kind Favor seems to have a polemic in it. “Why are we this way?” Its opening sentence asks you to think about naming. “Naming matters here in Cord.” That sentence dares you to think, “Why do we insist on naming the way we do? You are an Other, you are a Foreigner, you are this, you are that.” But for me, the first value of that sentence is its music. “Naming matters here in Cord.” It rings authentic to that “we” voice and the strange irreality of that “we” voice. Its music is simple and unadorned. It’s not decorative. It’s not quite as wild as the sentences in 57 Octaves, but it opens the door to the kinds of wildnesses that are, I hope, at the sonic level appealing. One Kind Favor asks the reader to read it as an Alice in Wonderland experience, an experience through the looking glass, down the rabbit hole, that constantly careens between tragedy and that ludic mode Cortazar talks about. The aspects of it that are political are not primary. For instance, Woolman is not easily seen as a symbol of this or that, and I don’t actually believe that Lincoln—who has been lynched and is a presence in the work but is not physically there—is a neat symbol of “the Black man that you have to come to terms with.” Lincoln is Lincoln; the sentences about him don’t shape and form him as somebody who figuratively represents this or that.

My novel Little Peg struck everyone as being quite polemic. Little Peg is a book that ostensibly seems to embody the period of time after the Vietnam War and what actually happens to the families who have been through the trauma of welcoming back a family member who is forever maimed, changed; and/or welcoming back the dead person with whom they cannot ever have the same level of engagement. When I wrote that book, I tested my own conscience about who the reader was. I did a little over 300 hours of interviews with the wives, mothers, daughters, and sisters of Vietnam vets. The book is from a woman’s point of view, and it was invaluable, in fact life-changing, for me to be in touch with these women. I then narrowed that set of women readers to six who constantly let me re-interview them. I narrowed those to four who let me bring them each thirteen drafts of Little Peg in order to see if there was anything that struck them as bullshit. I was then able to say to myself, “This is the reader.”

Peg’s resting mode is rage. Absolute rage. Burning, destructive rage and implosive and explosive rage. And since that is so profoundly a contradiction to my own resting state, which is joy, it was really exhausting. To be transported into a sensibility so radically and profoundly different than my own took a toll on me, on the composing and the revising. And it was, in the end, deeply satisfying in a complex way, pleasurable. But very, very challenging.

When the book came out, women wrote me to thank me for writing it. They said, more or less, “I can’t imagine anyone else really liking this book, but I like it.” That is a humbling thing to hear, but it is also a powerful thing to hear if what you pictured was that one reader.

BUCKINGHAM

The ending of One Kind Favor beautifully breaks down all the barriers that the book is trying to break down throughout, but that ending completely does it.

MCILVOY

It ends this way: “They entered the blur.” There has been this reference very quietly throughout to things that blur and experiences that blur. The word itself is almost a touchstone in the book. All of the characters who are haunted by victims, by victimizers, by the people who made a mark on them, can’t themselves define or describe their experience. What they are often experiencing is entering new uncertainties. I was very surprised, by the way, to learn just a few days ago that one of the ten most frequent words marked by people who pay attention to such things in the US in the last year is the word “bluricity,” the characteristic blurring of things. That’s in part a reference to the fact that we no longer know or assert, “This is fact, this is not, that’s fake news, that’s real news,” etc.

Earlier, I was talking about how, often, a work of fiction has a push and glide in which you push so far you glide into being able to say, “This is what it’s about.” But this story of these people at this moment in the life of this community is the story of people who cannot say at all, “This is who we are, this is where we are, this is what we mean, this is how we add up.” In fact, at a certain point, this “we” narrator says, “All of the stories that I’m telling are dead ends.” If you started reading saying, “I sure hope this book is going to answer, ‘Who lynched Lincoln Lennox?’,” it never does. If you are a transactional reader who expects the work to give you something transactional, it will not give you that. It instead carries you into the blur.

This is one of the reasons people love Alice in Wonderland. It is this constant experience of wonder that looks quite calculated and goes nowhere. It’s one fantastic thing after another. I’ve always felt it appeals to people despite themselves. They would say, “You know, that’s not my kind of thing, and yet I can never forget it.”

BUCKINGHAM

I think One Kind Favor handles ghosts really well, but also my take when I read A Waltz was that I was reading about ghosts, too. I’m asking two things, one about literary ghosts and one about those two books as bookends because they seem more similar to each other than anything in between: the hotel, the weird noises, the murders.

MCILVOY

I was twenty-one when I started writing A Waltz. I was twenty-four when I finished it, pretty young. I’m pretty far from that now at sixty-seven, but I have lived long enough and written enough that each time I write a book I think, “Hey, Mc, you are writing a brand-new book. You are not writing a book that is like anything you have ever written. Good going, Mc. You are really growing.” Usually, by the time I’m at the critical mass of the book, I’m saying, “You know what, Mc? You are writing about the same things you were writing about from the very first prose you ever made.” I do believe that for a lot of us, this is hardwired: certain things make their way back to us, despite us, and we either learn to trust them and allow them in, or we resist them and our work seems to be hurt by our self-censorship. It is absolutely true that I recognize in One Kind Favor certain things that have been characteristic of my work for all my life.

Another writer who affected me quite deeply was Anaïs Nin. Nin acknowledged she could not stop writing about people who are absent in your life: people who are ostensibly present but they are never fully present to you and the lost person who is absent and more present to you than the people who are present. This was part of what she called her “incendiary neurosis.”

One of the things I was marked by in my early life was the absence of my mother. My mother died a few years ago, at ninety-one. But I was very close to her. When I was very young she was in and out of sanitariums for TB. Until I was about nine years old, this was always true and I felt her absence keenly. I would go to visit her in the san with my father and my two older brothers, and she was so ill that she often could not speak. She could simply look at us and nod and physically gesture, but she couldn’t speak. She was too weak to do that. My body, as well as my spirit, will never be done with that. In other words, she was kind of a ghost in my early life. Then, when she could be in my life, every moment seemed not only magical but holy, completely holy. And it was tremendously satisfying to me to see that by middle age she was one of the hardiest people I knew, and she was in excellent health to the end of her life. She loved to point out to people, “You thought I’d never make it, didn’t you?” and mostly she was stronger than those people.

This overlapped with the fact that I was born with damage to my left-front-temporal lobe that made the doctors say I would be profoundly mentally-handicapped. From the time I was born, I had such serious problems with my brain that from the age of three to eight-and-a-half I had grand mal seizures. So here’s my poor father, alone with us while my mother’s ill, trying to cope with this boy who, even in school, was having these terrible episodes that often made me feel like I had disappeared. When you have a seizure like that, you don’t feel it coming on. It just hits you and then you’re out. You’re down on the floor, you’ve been completely unconscious. You come back to consciousness, and the world is different; you are in a different posture to the world, and you are not of it yet. You are in a middle zone between rejoining the world and having been absent from it. Sometimes as I’m writing, the very process of writing seems to recapitulate these episodes. I will have a sense after a given writing session that I haven’t reentered the world. Part of who we are as writers is how we were made by the world, and I’m fortunate that the way I’ve been made is to have a very full, rich life. But I have known absence. I have experienced it the way Nin experienced it all of her life.

HENDERSON

I was interested in what you said about transactional elements in writing and storytelling. In other interviews, you’ve stated that you’re a writer of fullness, and you describe fullness as being less concerned with very intentional structure and meaning. I’m curious how transactional elements and stories relate to this idea.

MCILVOY

This question has in part to do with what is left out of a work. One can imagine a draft of One Kind Favor in which, after the characters enter the blur, we have pages that tell us exactly who killed Lincoln Lennox. That would be reaching toward completeness. That would be saying, “Here’s the narrative. It feels like it has arrived at its fullness, but now let’s give it completeness. Let’s round this out by solving the ‘mystery.’” This effort actually undermines the essential value of the work, which is to offer fullness and not to make mistakes about confusing fullness with completeness. Part of the revising process about what gets cut has a lot to do with this sense of the terms of engagement for the work. Are they the conventional terms? Are they terms of engagement that are in direct contradiction to the terms of engagement in the culture that the work comes into? I like to encounter art that exists in the culture but that resists that culture’s fundamental values.

When I have presumed to teach writing, I’ve tried to say to writers, “Make sure that it is pleasurable and satisfying to you to write. That will mean you will need to be in the process of self-examination in which you say, ‘To what degree am I turning away from all the first principles that have been the pillars of my belief system as a human being and as an artist?’”

For many artists, turning from a transactional capacity to a transformational or even transcendent capacity rubs against what they have been taught. The shift is often very big and tremendously challenging. If you come into writing, and you have been, for twenty-five years, a salesperson writing ad copy and every piece of language you have had to make has been transactional, you don’t just instantly learn how to write differently. You have to undo so many primary elements of who you are, how you think, what you believe, what you feel. Part of the joy of writing is remaking who you are as a human being and understanding that the opportunity to undo your life, to enter new uncertainties, is a great blessing. A great gift.

My father, who worked in the steel mill all of his life, wanted to be a lawyer, and he studied the law the way people do who want to be lawyers. He didn’t just read here and there about the law. He studied the law. He never had, fully, the privilege of moving past life in the steel mill, but he knew this other language, the language of law, and he was in awe of it. I could look at him and experience what John Berryman called “the stance of wonder.” We live in the world by thinking ahead to what comes next instead of stopping in a stance of wonder and being in that moment.

HENDERSON

In At the Gate of All Wonder there’s a mouth harp, and you mentioned that you play the mouth harp. What has your relationship been to music and how have you filtered that into your writing?

MCILVOY

I’ve always had singing as a part of my life, and I’ve always taken singing seriously. I studied guitar and was particularly awful at it but enjoyed it enormously. I have studied harmonica for seven years now very intensively. At a certain point my teacher asked me to begin taking voice lessons. One of the things you have to be able to do to play certain kinds of blues music on harmonica is choke the notes. You have to give them a certain grain by drawing and blowing from inside your throat. Especially making scraping sounds, you have to be able to bounce back and forth between what your throat is doing, what your chest, the instrument of your mouth, your tongue, your lips, and your embouchure are doing, changing from moment to moment to moment. So he sent me to a voice teacher who I spent a year learning from, who then challenged me about, for instance, glissando. She might spend four lessons saying, “When you sing this particular phrase through the harmonica, are you allowing the phrase to go all the way out unbroken and to come all the way back to you unbroken, or is that phrase, because of your bad habits, always arpeggio? Is it always broken?” and “Do you ever just allow this note that you’ve drawn to go all the way out and all the way back?” The teacher then rigorously made me practice these things.

If you’re taking that really seriously, how do you not bring that to your writing? You’re trying to learn, to shift, to develop, to grow. You then look at your sentences and you say, “Do these sentences have the quality of glissando? If they don’t, is that just because you don’t know any better, Mc?” and “When will you start to be able to widen the vocabulary with which you feel your way into what you are writing?” This is part of the discipline of being a writer—to constantly, every day and well outside of the writing time, in the time that you’re just moving through the world—to say, “How will I reside in language differently than I did yesterday? How will I listen differently than I listened yesterday?”

This is why I believe that the life of the artist is inherently a life of pleasure; when I hear people talk about the suffering that is involved in their work, I don’t take that for granted, but I don’t identify. For me suffering is part of living fully. Part of being fully alive is pleasurable. If you are fully alive when you are miserable, you are experiencing something pleasurable. That is paradoxical, and paradox is the very essence of really rich art. It is pleasurable to experience beauty and be destabilized.

When I closed down my garden one year, I was looking at the standing hollyhocks that were basically dead and trying to pay attention to them, and one of them was full of sound. I sat down next to it and listened. That was the worst possible thing I could have done because out came white-faced hornets, and they stung me all over my face, my scalp, my lips, my neck. I cannot tell you that that was singularly painful. It was really pleasurable, in the way that sometimes pain is described as “exquisite.” Why would anyone ever call pain exquisite except that it is part of being fully alive, being both reactive to and responsive to the world? It is a reminder to be back in your body. If you’re being stung all over, you’re not necessarily thinking, “Oh, I wish I knew the biological name for a white-faced hornet.” You’re fully inside your body and you have every reason to feel lucky that you have experienced this pleasure. Literature, all art, places us either inside the envelope of darkness in which light is blossoming or inside the envelope of light in which dark is blossoming.

VAN VOORHIS

Place is a massive thread through a lot of your work. A lot of your earlier works are set in New Mexico, and part of The Fifth Station is in Illinois, and then your later stuff is in North Carolina. Can you talk a little bit about the way that the places you’ve lived have influenced your writing?

MCILVOY

The town I grew up in was a steel mill town. My father worked there all of his life, and my brothers and I worked there in the summers in what were called high-risk jobs. If you saw Granite City, Illinois, from the sky, you would see all of this smoke pouring out of the steel mill, surrounded by endless cornfields. Absolutely endless, as far as the eye could see when I was growing up. There’s a paradox in that setting. Likewise, when I lived in New Mexico, “The Land of Enchantment,” there’s the paradox that you are under this searing blue sky and that you’re hiding from the sun because it’s so punishing. I moved to Asheville twelve years ago. I thought, “Man, I’m really going to miss those high desert mesas. I’m going to miss those Organ Mountain peaks just outside of Las Cruces.”

In Asheville I live right up against the woods. I write in this hut that is right up against the woods. I have Raynaud’s Syndrome, which is a circulatory disorder. I am not supposed to live in cold places. I live in a place that I have come to love as much as any place I’ve ever lived, and I am not supposed to live here. When I see my doctor, she sometimes says, “Are you thinking about moving?” I find myself wanting to say, “This is where my characters live. No, of course I wouldn’t think about moving because how would I move them from this place where they paradoxically belong?” Until I can understand from inside the character’s experience that where the place they live is paradoxical, I don’t feel like the work is authentic, even believable. Before that time, I feel like I’m only portraying a set, something you build for a play you’re putting on. In revision, there’s a kind of a check of conscience: is this hotel in One Kind Favor paradoxical for Acker? Is it differently paradoxical for Acker than it is for Alice, who ends up imprisoned there?

BUCKINGHAM

You mentioned you grew up Catholic. There’s so much sound and mysticism in Catholicism, both of which I see in your work. Could you address that?

MCILVOY

I grew up in a curious mixture of Catholicism. I grew up, first, in a town called Madison, Illinois, which was five miles down the road from Granite City, and our church was a Polish church. The community that came there rarely spoke English. My mother’s family had immigrated from Lithuania. While the mass was in Latin, the singing was always inflected with Polish, the Polish dialect. It was a distinct kind of music, and it was high mysticism. I memorized all of the Latin because I served in the masses as an altar boy. No one, even for a moment, thought they would teach altar boys what the Latin meant. And everyone attending the mass could not translate that Latin. Their first language was Polish, they were struggling to learn English, and they were there for a mass in Latin. And yet it worked very like the way pre-language works—when you hear an infant first verging into language and they mutter something that is not language at all, but you know exactly what they mean. That pre-language reminds you that the way in which language works first in the world is to cast a spell. “I want that water. If I make this sound, you will give me that water.” Is that not magic? Is that not mysticism?

When we moved to Granite City, we moved to a church that was dominated by Irish Roman Catholic Catholicism—another form of Catholicism, specifically formed by the Franciscans. The Franciscans have a deep sense of mysticism inherited from Saint Francis, who it is said could speak to the birds and to the animals and they would speak to him. This was always part of his conversation with God. By that time, the mass was no longer in Latin, and many people in that church resented deeply that it was not. They wanted Latin back. They wanted a service, a sacred occasion in which they both would understand and would have no understanding at all, which many people say is the very root of mysticism.

I know for a fact that no one reads the Teacher Reptile stories in 57 Octaves Below Middle C and can say, “Oh, I tracked that really well.” You say, “My gosh, that’s another language, isn’t it? That’s skater language. Even if I were a skater, the way it is presented here is another language.” The first reward of that piece is to experience the occasion, in a sustained way, of another language. And if it works through a process of ensorcellment, of sorcery, you say, “Okay, I went with it. I’m not at all sure why. It did place me on different ground.”

When writers talk about 20th-century realism, it’s surprising to me how seldom they talk about realism at the language level. They always talk about realism in depiction of setting, in the depiction of temporal quality, and in regard to its loyalties to presenting the world as we recognize it. They don’t often go down to the granular level and say, “Are you defining realism by sentences that first and foremost are transactional?” Because if that’s true, then I’ve never written anything that is in the realm of realism.

While I am no longer a Catholic, I am a practicing Buddhist, and my wife has been in her Buddhist practice for twenty years. She is in a Buddhist practice that is characterized by what Buddhists call “smells and bells.” A lot of incense is burned, a lot of bells are rung, a lot of prayers are said in Tibetan. The first time I got steeped in that, through her, I thought, “Wow, this is like the Latin mass. I love this stuff, man.”

SWAIN

Do you have any advice for young writers?

MCILVOY

Everything in an artist’s life, in general, has to do with the degree to which you perfect your capacity for the long gaze. To practice the long gaze not just when you’re writing, but in every waking and, if possible, every dreaming second of your life. To take not just the opportunity, but the responsibility for the long gaze. Because, especially for us in American culture, the temptation is to look at and look past immediately everything that comes before us. We’re looking to what comes next. Everything that presents itself before us, we glance at. We are already looking for some other value; it’s a reason that Bashō, who was a great poet but also a master teacher, asked anyone he ever taught to learn Wabi. Wabi is the state of impoverishment in which what is before you is enough. You don’t have to look past what is before you. You don’t have to look around it. You don’t have to interrogate it. You can be present to it, and if you will engage in the long gaze, you will already find yourself moving out of yourself into the middle ground that exists between you and that person, or you and that phenomenon in nature, and then so deeply entering it that you are looking at yourself from inside it.

When you actually allow yourself to move beyond just gazing to the long gaze, it starts to kill in you all of the capacity for superficiality that will only do disservice to you as an artist. When I, in my own life, practice it, it murders my capacity for being superficial, for being impatient, and for not taking pleasure and delight in very small things.

This practice, the long gaze, which every one of us can do every waking moment of our lives, is, at the simplest level, the practice of the artist.